A bit of a bit

Well I’m all moved.

Again!

It feels like I’ve been packing and unpacking for two years straight. We’ve finally settled into our new home in Cave Creek Arizona and I’m pretty happy to be in one place for awhile. The rental was beginning to become a headache and reminded me why I shouldn’t be renting at 39 anymore. I actually got in a shouting match with the landlord! Contrary to popular belief I’m not big on shouting. I’d rather just shoot die looks.

We love Cave Creek. It’s quiet, beautiful sunsets, and in two weeks I’ve only waved at one neighbor once.

Paradise to me!

Parts of it even feel like Colorado again like all the horses and ranches. It’s been hot as balls though and I’ve been running again which is torture in this heat. I like it though, no snow!!!

Got a new phone too! I’m so behind on tech which is really odd considering I’m an IT director, but I do love this new iPhone. Forgot my wordpress password and had to change it, I missed the virtual connection.

-OM

Empathy

Empathy isn’t sympathy necessarily. It’s the ability to recognize the presence of an emotional state even if you don’t understand why it’s present or what caused it. A society, a country, a world cannot grow closer together if the parts that create it don’t come to recognize what makes it. Empathy is a great beginning to making that growth start.

“That’s not my problem.”

“Those aren’t my people”

“Why should I care?”

These are the thoughts that counteract the very action required to start to care. We should care because we are human and in many cases if we can replace the object of scrutiny with our own image we might begin to see why it matters.

But that’s hard to do for various reasons. It’s not an easy thing to take ourselves out of our own comfort zone and to force ourselves to be uncomfortable for a second. Sometimes that second is all it takes to learn a little bit of empathy.

To realize sometimes what’s really important in the moment isn’t always about ourselves.

-Opinionated Man

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Checks and balances

Life really isn’t about checks and balances, at least not to me. I view it more like an actual board game and sometimes the only move is to check and check and check till it’s a stalemate and you get some time to breath.

People often think being overly aggressive or always on the move is a bad thing. For many of us that incline to this nature it is more about not finding ourselves stagnant and comfortable. It’s when you get comfortable and think that nothing can touch you that the storm normally appears.

I’m finding that applies a lot to my current work life. It’s a forever game of catering to the idealism that I need to constantly prove what I’m worth. It’s a tiresome weave of doing and proving you are doing that really wears most people out. Some might say that’s corporate life, but I believe it’s really about how that corporation wishes you to live. You cannot thrive and grow in an environment where you are always wondering if you aren’t good enough. Eventually you lose the checks and balances mantra and start to only go one way or the other. Then it is either retreat or check, check, check till you are checked out.

One begins to wonder if it is worth it.

-Opinionated Man

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She

She’ll cry a thousand cries but never shed a tear.

I’ll wait for her a million moments or maybe just a year.

It’ll come, will it come, our time just to be.

Away from what takes us away, our love will never flee.

We dance the night, come stay the night, laying fears to rest.

I hold her hand, we finally hold hands, and find our very best.

Come stay with me and we’ll finally be better than an unshed tear.

Looking back, don’t look back, walk forward just to be.

-OM

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Throwback

Feels like a lifetime ago when I was in this photo.

The thing I remember the most about driving to Lackland was the bus ride to basic. Hearing people laughing and clapping till all that nonsense stopped suddenly with the opening of a bus door.

Then it felt like all we heard was shouting for weeks to come, as reality hit us quickly where we were and why we were there.

The main thing I miss about the military, sometimes, is that unforgettable feeling of being a part of a greater team. It’s something you have to live to experience and it’s unforgettable.

-OM

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Me

The worst part about my birthday is that I never know if it’s real.

When all you have is a note pinned to your clothes… or so they say… who can say what really happened on a day you’ll never remember no matter how hard you try.

Was it today? Was it yesterday? Is it another day?

I guess we’ll never know as we grow old. But somewhere along the way, during those nights of drinks and cigarette butts, we have to find a peace inside. A voice that says we are ok with not knowing our past and we can adopt the future instead.

That’s the life of an adoptee sometimes. And each birthday it never gets easier. As we grow older, it actually gets harder sometimes.

-OM

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