For Men Only – Tip of the Day

If you want to snack without getting crumbs in the bed and you happen to have gone to a chocolate store just for a certain toffee treat covered with nuts that you don’t want to share…

Just tear the bag and turn it into a plate! With proper aim, it becomes kind of like a bib-plate. Works great, especially if you are turning away so you don’t have to share…

You can thank me later guys! I’m like a super hero.

-Opinionated Man

44.1

@smokendust

For Men Only – Things You Can Eat In Bed While They Are Sleeping

1 – Hot Cheetos (But you have to suck on them instead of crunching down and waking them up. Or you can crunch them and claim it is thunder. That sometimes works).

2 – A Steak and Cheese Sub with provolone (Big But here. You have to use a zip lock bag to cover the sandwich and the smell, unless they have a really good sense of smell. Then you have to light a candle and if they wake up, hide the sandwich and look shocked and hurt that they fell asleep right before you were about to be intimate).

3 – Churros (The problem is that I still can’t figure out how to eat one and not get sugar in the bed. When they find that sugar… your ass is grass…).

4 – You can’t eat kimchi in bed. I’ve tried.

5 – Ice Cream (But keep in mind that if you keep clinking your bowl with your spoon they might reach out in their “sleep” and slap you).

6 – Cotton Candy (If you get caught by anyone in the middle of the night eating cotton candy you lose some cool points if you are a real man. But that shit is addictive and sometimes you gotta have it).

7 – Sausage Toad and beer (It really gives me heartburn though, ugh!).

-OM

@smokendust

For Men Only – Traps

There’s this little laugh women make before they try to pull you into a trap. It’s real subtle.

It sounds like a creaking grate used to cover the pit to the fiery depths of hell…

Don’t fall for those traps men! Be vigilant!

Look for the laugh. It sounds like… well I can’t do it, but you know what I mean.

Be strong.

-Opinionated Man

@smokendust

Personal

I could never count the tears in your eyes. How often I’ve made you cry, how many times I’ve left you standing saying why. All for a few moments of disguise, let me cover up your eyes.

I’ll never be what you want me to be, but as long as you don’t see, there is nothing to see.

See these tears falling from your eyes, they are just lies.

Lost moments of you and I.

-OM

44.1

@smokendust

Sex

As part of me cries into your hand.

You make me want more,

you make me want more.

Let’s do it all again.

My fingers walk the fine line between you and I.

A circle of want, as we want what we want.

Can I feel inside?

I feel you now, a firm grip around me.

You can feel it too.

Let’s do it all again, you whisper softly.

As I make love to you.

-Opinionated Man

44.1

@smokendust