Why I Care About the Subscriber Number

Disclaimer: Bad humor and language

Someone asked me once “well what good are all those subscribers?”

Ok, I’ll list them.

1 – I could be dying and need blood. My blog might help me find that rare blood type I probably am, but don’t know for sure because I’m lazy on health and don’t know my own blood type. I believe it is green.

2 – I could be giving away three guinea pigs and need people to adopt them because I am fucking sick and tired of cleaning their fucking cages!!! … but I love you boys, Noah, Snowy, and Luke…

3 – This is a real fear. I could be driving around in bumblefuck New Mexico and some cop pulls me over and arrests me because he thinks I look like an illegal alien he has seen. I don’t memorize phone numbers due to the day and age of cell phones. So there I am young, cute, virgin butthole in prison and I can’t call for help. Gee I wish I had a blog with 50,000 subscribers that might begin to miss me and ask where I am…

To be continued…



Weighing Blogging Relationships

How do you weigh a blogging relationship or any relationship online? Isn’t it the same as a relationship in person?

As with anything in life we have to determine what is in it for ourselves. What do we get out of the relationship and is it worth having? Are we being used and all that is left in the morning is a hershey kiss and a thank you note…

The longer you blog the more you’ll consider blogging and the intricacies that make it so hard. You’ll see ranting about unfaithful following, fake subscribers, and lack of views. You’ll see these posts because people care and why shouldn’t they? Bloggers pour countless hours into their sites, posts, and the people they interact with. Blogging is a social media, it isn’t just a media of presentation. Because of that time is valuable and we want to know if who we are using our time on is worth it. We want to know if we are wasting our time.

I make this very simple for myself, but some might say “well Opinionated Man has that luxury.”

You see I don’t focus on the response back, but instead on my activities that generate response. I don’t click around my site for hours waiting for people to care… I make people care. I don’t reread old comments to glow, I go out and make new connections to stimulate new comments. That is how I blog by cutting the “relationship” out of it.

That isn’t for everyone.

You’ll have Helga who has to be best friends with every blogger she follows. And everyone better be best friends back or they’ll get a warning, an email, and a door knock.

You might even be a Gary who does Gary things, but that is the beauty of blogging. We get to do what we want!

So how do you weigh a blogging relationship? Is it based off one comment and the response, or lack thereof?

Do you base it off regular visits or nothing at all?

-Opinionated Man


The Trouble with Flirting while Driving an Auto

I almost thought I wrote this. Thanks for the smile. -OM
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Let’s face it, women are quite stupid, really – still bowled over by adulation, kind words and poetry.

A very wise man once told me, “Consultants are people, who look at your watch and tell you the time.” As it turned out, he was quoting his father – very much like a consultant.

Given my complete and utter inability to woo women from my neighbourhood, I have spent a considerable amount of my adult life in long distance relationships – impressing insufferable women who had no idea of what they were walking into, until one fine morning when they woke up and discovered (to their dismay) that they were in a relationship with me. As such, my relationships have entailed a lot of travel – mostly sandwiched between terribly irascible, fat men and women in slow, rickety buses.

Our steel-structures professor, who was otherwise, a phenomenal professor, had this…

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We all go through those website growing pains! Hopefully you get it all sorted out. Hang in there! 🙂
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Honest K

Buy your domain they said, it will be fun they said. Do it now they said, it will be easier they said.

It’s been over a week and I’m still knee deep in old posts that went tits up!

FFS man.

Have a hobby they said. It’s taken over my life! Live, eat, breathe and sleep blogging! Doesn’t help that I’m a complete techno illiterate dafty. Should have stuck to being a depressed nut job, at least I could rest after the crying episodes.

Must dash, theres posts to be fixed, FFS.

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60 Ways to Deal with Angry Comments

1 – Answer everyone else but them.

2 – Keep asking them to repeat the question.

3 – Respond only in emojis no matter what. No one is going to sit there and argue with an emoji user…

4 – Threaten to tell your mom.

5 – Don’t respond.

Walk away.

Drink a pint of scotch.

And then come back and deal with this bullshit.

6 – Respond but use google translator to paste it in a different language. Make them work for the reply.


You don’t need any more.

Have a skittle.

How do you keep from annoying your subscribers?

You can’t.

I’ve had bloggers ask me this because they are worried that their blogging methods are going to scare people away. They don’t want to respin a post because someone will be annoyed and they don’t want to reblog too much because their email subscribers will get pissed off. If they post photos all the time their poetry readers will be angry and if they don’t forget to do the prompt of the week their writing community will riot. We haven’t even gotten to the virtual dog yet.

That all sounds really tiring. I stopped caring a long time ago if people unsubscribed from my site and it happens constantly. They thought I was a poet or they thought I was a photographer. They were here for a food blog… boohoo.

Well whoever “they” are, they will live. That is what I say. If you try to please everyone all you end up with is a bunch of constrained nothing. If you try to please no one at least you are pleased in the end.

-Opinionated Man