Things People Say

Jason… did you have muscles once because you have really broad shoulders.

Excuse me waiter, can you show my son how to use chopsticks real quick?

This water is too cold.

Ironically the cost of your carpet cleaning is the same as your rental deposit, so we just kept that.

Jason Cushman… Jason Cushman… where the hell is he? I’ve walked by here three times already…

I can’t process a charge on my terminal. Well… it won’t turn on actually…

This piece of shit cell phone won’t work and it is brand new. When I press the call button and then the PWR button it shuts off!!!

“Why are you pressing the PWR button…?”

Because that’s the Press While Ringing button, duh. Where’s your manager?

-OM

I love humans.