Seven Reasons Crying Sucks

Everyone always says “look at how beautiful they are with those tears in their eyes.” Crying isn’t beautiful and here’s why.

1 – Crying is painful. Like a stinging pain… anyone that isn’t grimacing in pain from a pooling collection of tears probably has a plastic face. Now, is that still beautiful?

2 – Tears have a close second cousin called snot rocket and they race to the finish line.

3 – When you cry, I cry. Then we are all crying and a room full of people crying is probably the most unpleasant cacophonous sound in the world. Torture some may call it.

4 – You’d never know it, but somehow all my bodily fluids are contained in those tiny little tear drops because I am drained and parched after crying. I hate being thirsty.

5 – Anytime your face twists up into angles it wasn’t meant to go it is never pretty. So you will never look pretty crying. Ever.

6 – Sometimes when you cry you also try to talk and it comes out in stutters and it is really hard to understand. I find that highly annoying. Either cry or talk… cause obviously we can’t do both at once people..

7 – The reasons most people cry are just plain dumb. That makes the crying happening dumb. Those are just dumb tears. Some might say wasted.

I could really go on and on. Don’t get me started on hugging…

-Opinionated Man

44.1

@smokendust

Spending

I’ve had many obsessions in my life. Most of them involved pouring something, but I also had a very bad gambling habit for a bit there.

It feels nice to finally see what I’ve “bought” for a change. To appreciate what I’ve worked hard for. So many bills wasted on chips and chasing big money dreams, so many dollars wasted on pints and handles of different names. It is kind of like going to Target for women. They always spend around $100 dollars and the next day most can’t recall what they bought. Actually the two are nothing alike.

I am not a wealthy person, so it is nice to finally find habits that make me feel like I’m accomplishing something. My current obsessions, not new to anyone that follows my media, are watches, ties, and shoes. I started buying shoes because I was already being dragged to DSW almost weekly by my wife… so why not buy something while I’m there? It’s better than kicking rocks. And who doesn’t like a pair of new kicks?

So now I’m a shoe guy apparently, but that’s okay in my book. A good pair of shoes is worth it.

-OM

@smokendust

She

I see between the sheets.

Silhouettes of you and me.

A fine line for eyes to see.

Of movements only you and I can breathe.

We don’t even need these sheets.

The night air is safe to see.

As our bodies cling between.

And memories are made with me.

-OM

44.1

@smokendust

My Daily

We have a situation.

This little reading timer keeps going off at 8 pm every night on the dot. Here I’ll show the culprit.

One might think you could press the mode button and remedy the situation.

One might think that…

None of those buttons do anything to stop the timer coming back on the next night! I’ve pressed everything! There’s only four fucking buttons!

So I was just going to take the battery out but nope..

Some little elf with miniature hands (if being an elf wasn’t bad enough) put these damn things in and none of my fifty two screw drivers fit. Not even the special one for the bathtub handles.

What’s the hammer for?

I’m gonna solve this fucking problem.

Once and for all.

-Opinionated Man

@smokendust