Shine

I saw a shining light.

It shined, it shined, it shined so bright.

I could not stand the sight.

Of darkness folding before this light.

A brightness striking deep within.

Dispelling torrents of rage, amen.

A beauty I did not wish to see.

A reflection of something lost in me.

-OM

44.1

Moments

My eyes follow the setting sun.

And watch as the sun does run.

From my parting gaze.

No hand to give me parting wave.

I wish for one more moment spent.

A coin less wish, no drop of decent.

And hear an echo in reply.

A whispered answer or sweet, sweet lie.

-OM

44.1

Strange

So this was kind of strange.

I had a small bump underneath the skin near my lower eyelid yesterday. It was pressing against my eye socket bone and was painful to blink. I massaged it and the bump moved away and down my face – which was scary by the way. But at least the sharp pain went away, it then became just sore yesterday.

The soreness wouldn’t go away fully and I talked to my Pop, who is a doctor, but he wasn’t sure what it was and he doesn’t live near me.

This morning my cheek was still sore so I massaged some more, near where the small soft bump should have been and I found it pressed against my cheek bone. It moved again and now it’s disappeared in the soft part of my face and all the soreness is gone. I think it was either a stye or a cyst, but I’m not sure. I also don’t know if I should go see a doctor this week to see if anything further is going on. I don’t like hospitals much, but I’m like any human being… I’m Googling… and that’s not always a good idea.

Makes you more scared.

At least my face feels better. I hope it was a orbital dermoid and harmless.

-Opinionated Man

Health

3:34 am

I tested drinking beer again this weekend and I think it’s still a no go.

It causes bleeding somewhere and my stomach hurts.

I can still drink scotch, but it is becoming clearer that I should not drink beer at all.

I’m gonna really miss Stella and peroni. I won’t miss the pain.

I recently started on a new stomach med that I had to get internationally and it’s been a game changer. I felt like a drug dealer when a package from India appeared with 365 pills in it. I haven’t had a major flare up in awhile.

But when the blood is bright red and it’s a lot… that’s probably not a great sign. My pop is a doctor, I’m obviously not, but I’d be dumb to ignore the signs. I don’t “need” beer, but I do need scotch. I’m glad it doesn’t seem to tear me up like I get after a few beers.

It could have been the guacamole though. It did have tiny pieces of jalapeños hidden in it, but even that wouldn’t cause the blood. It would just make my stomach hurt and bubble, and me to hate life.

After 38 years and battling any name you can give irritable bowl syndrome and crohns, I know my body. Doesn’t mean I always do the best thing for it though.

I’m sure gonna miss a cold beer.

-Opinionated Man

44.1

Set

I’ve seen a setting sun.

A sun so bright, I want to run.

Because no one chases the moon.

It always leaves too soon.

I’ve accepted what cannot be met.

A passing feeling of Summer sweat.

That gentle breeze that comes from spring.

A feeling of birth after winter leaves.

It seems to be a circle, full circle.

A motion to release my pent up emotion.

And yet I shed a tear for what is lost.

I cannot place it, like a summer’s frost.

It’s a feeling that’s not meant to be.

A feeling I cannot lose inside of me.

But to truly move past myself.

I must confess I’ve lost myself.

-OM

44.1