Checks and balances

Life really isn’t about checks and balances, at least not to me. I view it more like an actual board game and sometimes the only move is to check and check and check till it’s a stalemate and you get some time to breath.

People often think being overly aggressive or always on the move is a bad thing. For many of us that incline to this nature it is more about not finding ourselves stagnant and comfortable. It’s when you get comfortable and think that nothing can touch you that the storm normally appears.

I’m finding that applies a lot to my current work life. It’s a forever game of catering to the idealism that I need to constantly prove what I’m worth. It’s a tiresome weave of doing and proving you are doing that really wears most people out. Some might say that’s corporate life, but I believe it’s really about how that corporation wishes you to live. You cannot thrive and grow in an environment where you are always wondering if you aren’t good enough. Eventually you lose the checks and balances mantra and start to only go one way or the other. Then it is either retreat or check, check, check till you are checked out.

One begins to wonder if it is worth it.

-Opinionated Man


Self promotion

Here’s a basic lesson in self promotion.

My daughter is ten and she’s doing online classes like so many other kids out there. She misses her classmates and the stimulation one gets from interacting with their peers.

She created a google classroom to share some of her passions and ideas for dealing with boredom like dad jokes and BTS videos. She was so excited about her classroom until no one joined.

I asked her “Gracie have you shared the classroom with anyone else and asked them to join?”

She didn’t think anyone would be interested and instead lamented that no one was showing up on their own accord. I taught her that you can’t find what you don’t know is there and that if she wanted people to interact she needed to really take the reins of destiny and put herself out there.

Bloggers are the same way.

Some of us are just fine writing in our corners, but just as many of us are cries in the night asking for others to care. We write our passion, our fears, our cares and hopes and dreams waiting for someone to stop by and just say “hey, I feel the same way too sometimes.”

If you don’t put yourself out there, if you don’t self promote, no one will ever find you. We do this through small chores such as sharing our posts on other platforms, tagging in different methods, interacting, and basically just playing the game to get noticed. You shouldn’t feel ashamed of wanting what so many others also want as well.

We just want to be heard.

-Opinionated Man


Happening now

Some things happening now.

I’m gaining weight. When we moved to Arizona we packed the scale, but I stood on my phone and I could have swore it said “help me!” I’m starting to look like a little Buddha.

My hair is really long. I look like Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon and not in a good way. I need a haircut bad.

I tried to workout and I got worked. It’s tiring. I feel every year of my 39ish years. I’ve been trying to start to run again and it’s going OK. Since moving to Arizona I started smoking squares again and I’m feeling that too. I need to stop, but it’s not going to be easy. I gave up a lot to move here and I’m not sure how much more I can give.

I forgot how much work taking care of a pool is. I grew up as a teenager with a pool, my parents were fortunate and were able to eventually have a home with one. That pool had a vacuum that worked though… we named it Garth, actually my mom did after Garth Brooks. The vacuum here should be called bullshit because it doesn’t work. I bought a manual one and I’ve been pushing it around with arm muscle. I don’t have much arm muscle left…

I’m sure a lot of people are becoming stir crazy. I know we are. Canceled our trip to Cali in May to see BTS again. We’re sad, but it really puts things into perspective and makes you appreciate the trips you used to take without a second thought.

Found out my god father has the virus, he is a dentist. I also found out my father got tested today and he has a persistent cough. He’s a doctor and priest as most of you know. I’m sure he’ll be OK, if god can’t protect him we are all screwed. He’s the best man I know.

I pray for the physicians and those in healthcare. It’s true what they say. All this crap doesn’t mean much till it hits home.





I saw a summerset upon a dream that was not met.

An object of possibilities, drenched in ideas I bleed.

I pondered upon a golden ticket, hoping some scheme would set.

But forged in fire I had let, a silver ticket is all I met.

It’s not a tragedy when my dear dreams meet misery.

It’s just how it was meant to be as sad songs from me seem to flee.

Back to the forge to dream, a new dream of possibility.

Or give up on being me and let the darkness in you see.