Blogging

I give people 24 hours to fix their mistakes and they don’t take it. You guys must want me to turn ugly. Doesn’t it feel wrong or is it just so easy to copy and paste someone else’s work? Didn’t your mother teach you not to steal? Did you copy homework in school? Did you take photos off the internet and use them as your own in college? No? So why in the fuck do you people think it’s right to do in the blogosphere? Because bloggers aren’t real writers? Because my words aren’t bound by a cover? Do I need to buy a giant copyright symbol for my damn site? I swear bloggers make me want to stop sharing my work for free sometimes. Grow the fuck up.

-Opinionated Man

44.1

@smokendust

10 Things Not to Say to an Asian

  1. -Do your parents speak English? No, they kind of wave their arms around and point at things while grunting.
  2. So do you like eat rice every day? So do you like eat fat every day?
  3. When did you come to this country? How do you know I wasn’t born here?
  4. Do you eat Asian food? While assuming we eat every type of Asian food you can think of IS annoying… also asking us obvious questions such as this one is pretty lame as well.
  5. Is that your dad? (points at random Asian man) No, is that your dad? (points at the first person he sees… man or woman.)
  6. Do you celebrate Chinese New Year’s? Do I look Chinese? Wait… don’t answer that. I SAID DON’T ANSWER THAT!
  7. Could you suggest a good Asian restaurant to go to? Sure, try The Drunken Chinese Chopstick Eating Dragon Wonton. I hear it is excellent!
  8. Go back to your country! If I did that who would do your math homework?
  9. What is the easiest Asian language to take for college credit… I just want to pass! Chinese is so easy and takes little effort. Go and be a star!
  10. Can you show me real quick how to use these chopsticks? How about I show you how to use a fork instead… deal?

-OM

Please don’t 

Please don’t email, message, or ping me about sending you money. I don’t have any money to give out. You guys must have me confused for celebrity bloggers and media people like Kim Kardasian. I’m not a celebrity, I don’t have millions of dollars lying around. Things are tight for most people these days.

I support bloggers I know when it comes to these matters. I won’t just promote a gofundme because you beg me to. Everyone has a sob story. Everyone has a story period…

You can’t help them all.

-OM

44.1

@smokendust

“That isn’t your real family”

I have written a lot about adoption and adopting yourself through acceptance. One of the hardest things for any adoptee to handle is being told “that isn’t your real family.” Some might balk at this actually happening in real life… because how much of an asshole can a person be? I’ll tell you. People can be the biggest assholes and say the most inconsiderate things. For many it is due to ignorance or a lax tongue. For others they say these things to hurt you intentionally.

I have had things like this said to me. The last time someone said this to my face they got punched in theirs. There are some things you just don’t say to people and we all have our triggers. For some they are racially motivated and for others they are aligned with their life choices. The thing about adoption is that NONE OF US chose to be given up. If you know of an adoptee that was sat down and given a choice please let me know and I’ll edit this post immediately. I’ve never met a single person that opted out of their family and decided on their own to be adopted.

The article I linked above is making the rounds in the adoption circles and groups I am a part of. I don’t normally interact much with adoptee groups, but I do like to know what the current topics and issues are. The conflict for me is that each adoptee is their own story and their life becomes the story. Because of that fact I find it overwhelmingly hard to interact and try to bond with other adoptees even though we all have an underlying sense that we belong to a special group. The differing sides to the adoption debate and the different views on adoption as a whole keep me from really jumping in and joining any of these groups. I have my own opinions on adoption based on my life and my experiences.

The reason most of us are so upset by what was said by the sports announcer is because it shows the carelessness and ignorance surrounding adoption and adoptees. In many ways it is the same attack made on immigrants when people tell them they aren’t really “American” even though they have lived here their whole life. Take that emotional topic and exponentially increase it tenfold. That is how much adoptees care about this subject because it is close to all of our hearts. Many of us have had a stranger, friend, ex-friend, roommate, or even a family member carelessly smash our confidence with some innocuous statement they didn’t think fully through. The problem is that while it is a passing remark for the doer, it is a stab in the heart to an adoptee.

We spend our whole lives working to be accepted. We spend an equal amount of time working to accept ourselves. To have some ignorant asshole tell us that we don’t truly know who we are or “you aren’t really a Cushman are you” is equal to a slap in the face. It is even more than that, you basically just went in time and kicked the younger me while I was in the orphanage and told me “no matter what you will never belong.” Remember that next time you talk to an adoptee and decide to tell them they aren’t really part of the family they have grown up with. Words do hurt and can last a lifetime.

-Opinionated Man

Jason C. Cushman

Ahn Soo Jin

@smokendust

44.1

leaving-airport

the next day

family w jason

Blogging Tip – Static Page Vs. Latest Post Display

Before I began promoting Authors and Books I always said that I encourage bloggers to display their latest posts instead of using a static page. The two methods serve two different purposes to me, but both are effective if used properly. I’ll give you my opinion on them and also on how I use featured posts.

I would use a static page if I were promoting something, selling something, or if I was just super hot and used my hotness as a welcoming photo portal for new visitors. Other than that I always encourage people to simply display their latest post. Here is the thing. Some themes are incredibly “simple” and are so simple they overlooked giving easy to find links to your latest posts in favor of a clean, Japanese garden type of feel. That is cool and all… but if a blogger has to literally search your site for the newest post they will give up pretty quickly. This isn’t Easter. We aren’t hunting for eggs here… unless there is candy. Is there candy?

Give us links that are easy to find or on a sidebar in ordered row. If you want pages then work on your menu and make that more “interactive.” Here is a tip for you people wanting to self -host. I have already shared my opinion on moving over and why I think people approach it with the wrong attitude. My goal for the two sites is not to transition my subscribers from the WordPress site to my new personal one. Instead I use both sites to bounce traffic back and forth. My links on my WordPress blog are actually all sub links to my self-hosted site. But they are displayed as the menu for this WordPress one. It may seem confusing, but to boil it down I basically made a “portal” by any secondary click.

Which reminds me of another thing we need to speak on. If you take a business or marketing course you will hear about the “law of clicks.” Either that or I was really stoned in college and the voices I heard told me some crazy shit…

Anyways, the law of clicks when I “read” it (browsed it) stated that a viewer will only normally click one more time once landing on your webpage. If you can’t get that visitor on your website to where they want to go in that one click you lose. The attention span of a human is incredibly small and an online human is like an infant real-life human. That made no sense, but it was fun to type. This is why I harped on authors with “author sites” that people can’t find their books on! WHY?!? It may of been mean but seriously… if we can’t find your book IMMEDIATELY upon visiting your website then it sucks as an author website. Change it.

This of course leads us back to why I think a static page is sometimes a good idea. If I were an author or someone promoting almost anything, I would place a static page on my blog with a big ass image of that “thing” right square in the middle of the screen. Have your book punch us in the face.

I almost forgot about featured posts. We all have posts we thought were amazing, but people just didn’t get a chance to see them. If they had they would have gone viral… obviously. Featured posts on a blog are a great way of displaying your work you are most proud of. Don’t allow your featured posts, the number that you set as “featured,” overwhelm your current posts and push them down too far on the screen. No one is going to scroll two miles down your blog to find your latest blog fart. Maybe do three to five featured posts and allow people to dig from there. Here is a tip, change those featured posts up occasionally or even on a schedule. It is a great way of “double posting” without actually posting a second time. Remember that a reader who visits from the “reader” will come to that post only at first, but a new visitor that types your website into the address bar will see whatever you display for them to see as YOUR WELCOME! Control that first “display” of your website and make sure it shows everything clearly you want to be seen. If a click or a scroll is necessary to see “something important” you should probably move it where we can see it to begin with. Think as a visitor or a viewer, not as the creator.

-Opinionated Man

@smokendust

hr