My Daily

We have a situation.

This little reading timer keeps going off at 8 pm every night on the dot. Here I’ll show the culprit.

One might think you could press the mode button and remedy the situation.

One might think that…

None of those buttons do anything to stop the timer coming back on the next night! I’ve pressed everything! There’s only four fucking buttons!

So I was just going to take the battery out but nope..

Some little elf with miniature hands (if being an elf wasn’t bad enough) put these damn things in and none of my fifty two screw drivers fit. Not even the special one for the bathtub handles.

What’s the hammer for?

I’m gonna solve this fucking problem.

Once and for all.

-Opinionated Man

@smokendust

Parenting

Dear Parents,

If you use the drop off lane at school for your kids please ensure you are following the proper procedure. If you have to get out of your car to help little billy out of his car seat you should be using the “take your ass to the parking lot” lane.

Not the drop off lane.

The drop off lane is for independent children that can quickly get out of the car so their parent can get his ass to work on time to make his 8:15 am meeting. That parent misses his meeting when little billy is actually baby billy and now your car just held everyone up! And you didn’t even pull up so others could drop off too, you stopped at the bend of the curve and kept everyone else lined up in the street while you gave hugs…

Jerk wagon.

Note: Obviously I have no idea what their real names were.

-OM

@smokendust