Why I Care About the Subscriber Number

Disclaimer: Bad humor and language

Someone asked me once “well what good are all those subscribers?”

Ok, I’ll list them.

1 – I could be dying and need blood. My blog might help me find that rare blood type I probably am, but don’t know for sure because I’m lazy on health and don’t know my own blood type. I believe it is green.

2 – I could be giving away three guinea pigs and need people to adopt them because I am fucking sick and tired of cleaning their fucking cages!!! … but I love you boys, Noah, Snowy, and Luke…


3 – This is a real fear. I could be driving around in bumblefuck New Mexico and some cop pulls me over and arrests me because he thinks I look like an illegal alien he has seen. I don’t memorize phone numbers due to the day and age of cell phones. So there I am young, cute, virgin butthole in prison and I can’t call for help. Gee I wish I had a blog with 50,000 subscribers that might begin to miss me and ask where I am…

To be continued…

-OM

@smokendust

HarsH ReaLiTy 5.0

Disclaimer: Horrible language and thought 


Anger: Dammit not another meeting! At least this one is by group chat.

Jason: Guys we have to get a grip on our anger. It is getting out of control. I mean… we went to Massage Envy, remember that anger? What the fuck chuck?

Angry: Jesus. I wish it was my job to walk around and think of colorful ways of telling people they are pieces of shit at their job. Don’t get mad at me for being me.

Harmony: I think if you two used more emojis 🤝 we would see more brotherly love here. Let’s be love. 🙌

Angerier: Where is the emoji for I want to punch you in the face? 😡

Harmony: See! You found one! Don’t you feel that anger coming out and subsiding?!?

Angeriest: 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

Jason: This is going to be a long meeting… and when the fuck did you all get cell phones? 🤔

Men Only – My boys

So the boys are settling into their homes. Noah is in the heartbreak hotel on the hill… lucky. I never got a bachelor pad like that.


Snowy and Luke occupy the home at the base of the hill. They keep look out for any bunny rabbits that frequent the area. I asked the boys if they wanted me to buy some turrents that shoot lasers. They declined and said they could handle it.

But when I snuck up on them they turned into some real yellow tailed sissies.


How can you be the gatekeepers and guards if you hide…?

Reminds me of that time we asked Gary to guard the door at our man meeting…

Remember guys?

Anyways. The boys are good.

-Opinionated Man

@smokendust

Reasons Why No One Reads Your Blog 

I liked your list as well! Don’t you just hate people that over post? LOL! 😉 -OM
Note: Comments disabled here. Please visit their blog.

Sugar nd' Spice

Like seriously,

  1. You left a comment on their post telling them to “pleeeaaaase read your blog’.
  2. You post once in a blue moon. You are not Beyonce, you cannot disappear for months and then reappear and expect to be even more popular than before, plus you don’t have twins.
    Beyonce Beyonce! Credit: Google images
  3. You don’t replycomments.
  4. Blogging is personal, you don’t blog about anything personal.
  5. All your blog posts are personal. People get tired of reading only about your sad/perfect life, how does it help my own life?Personal Blogger Credit: Google images
  6. Your posts have a lot of typos. You can’t get away with this except you live in a non-english speaking country, whereby everyone would then understand and acknowledge your efforts.
  7. You post 10 times a day!Nothing is more annoying than having your very plenty numerous posts pop up everywhere, all the time, all over…

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