Random Fun Ideas

1 – Beating people at games is always fun. Going to Gamestop or Target and beating all the kids on the free game consoles is just rewarding.

2 – See how long they keep the Chinese buffet “all you can eat” for you.

3 – Give your significant other gifts that you really want. That’s always fun.

4 – For Halloween next year do like I did and hand out math worksheets instead. Fun! Only had ten doorbell rings that night. I wonder if the word got out on the street.

5 – Take a snow day in June. If you live in Denver it may work!

6 – Tell your boss you just reached a level 53 knighthood and deserve a raise. Now!


7 – Play catch with your Peyton Manning fathead. Yes, I do.


-OM

@smokendust

Some things I’ve done that you probably haven’t.

I think this is a great post idea and prompt for the day! -OM
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Peter's pondering

I had this random thought that I have done a few things in my life that the average person will never experience.  I thought I would write a post entitled:

“Ten things I’ve done that you probably haven’t.” It developed a little like this:

TenElevenTwelveThirteenFourteenFifteenSixteenSeventeenEighteen Nineteen Twenty things I’ve done that you probably haven’t

I arranged them in reverse alphabetical order, just for the sake of it! Then I thought of an added one, or four. So, here we have:

Some things I’ve done that you probably haven’t

  1. Travelled down the Rhine on a Duck
  2. Transferred between Royal Naval ships at sea by Jackstay
  3. Transferred between Royal Naval ships at sea by helicopter
  4. Spent time in a prison cell
  5. Sat in a Harrier Jump Jet
  6. Rowed in a coxed 4 at sea
  7. Regularly travelled to work by helicopter
  8. Qualified as a helicopter…

View original post 174 more words

Perfect Day

Disclaimer: Bad Language. Not sure what happened in the second paragraph…

A perfect day for me is simple really. I drive out to grab food “real quick” from work and turn the corner to find out that HOLY SHIT!!! they built my favorite restaurant overnight around the corner!!! It is White Castle today, my favorite restaurant changes. I drive up and there isn’t even a line. It’s as if no one can sees this gleaming, shining White Castle right in front of us. A place where small squarish, squishy, delectable burgers are waiting by the sackful that remind you of almost every college night you can daydream of. You order a sackful and are on your way.

As you drive down the normal Colorado road and race back to eat your new found glory what happens… of course, a flock of geese walk in front of your car because apparently no one is flying today!!!

But what is this?

The perfect day?!?

They do suddenly fly and instead of flying away they circle your car for the few seconds it takes to get back to work. Almost as if providing an angelic haloic shield in their attempt to encapsulate your car. Again, no one else notices somehow…

You arrive to work unscathed with your favorite burgers. Could there be a more perfect day?

-Opinionated Man

44.1

@smokendust

Why I Care About the Subscriber Number

Disclaimer: Bad humor and language

Someone asked me once “well what good are all those subscribers?”

Ok, I’ll list them.

1 – I could be dying and need blood. My blog might help me find that rare blood type I probably am, but don’t know for sure because I’m lazy on health and don’t know my own blood type. I believe it is green.

2 – I could be giving away three guinea pigs and need people to adopt them because I am fucking sick and tired of cleaning their fucking cages!!! … but I love you boys, Noah, Snowy, and Luke…


3 – This is a real fear. I could be driving around in bumblefuck New Mexico and some cop pulls me over and arrests me because he thinks I look like an illegal alien he has seen. I don’t memorize phone numbers due to the day and age of cell phones. So there I am young, cute, virgin butthole in prison and I can’t call for help. Gee I wish I had a blog with 50,000 subscribers that might begin to miss me and ask where I am…

To be continued…

-OM

@smokendust

HarsH ReaLiTy 5.0

Disclaimer: Horrible language and thought 


Anger: Dammit not another meeting! At least this one is by group chat.

Jason: Guys we have to get a grip on our anger. It is getting out of control. I mean… we went to Massage Envy, remember that anger? What the fuck chuck?

Angry: Jesus. I wish it was my job to walk around and think of colorful ways of telling people they are pieces of shit at their job. Don’t get mad at me for being me.

Harmony: I think if you two used more emojis 🤝 we would see more brotherly love here. Let’s be love. 🙌

Angerier: Where is the emoji for I want to punch you in the face? 😡

Harmony: See! You found one! Don’t you feel that anger coming out and subsiding?!?

Angeriest: 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

Jason: This is going to be a long meeting… and when the fuck did you all get cell phones? 🤔