Mother’s Day is incredibly hard for me each year. As an adoptee, we try to find solace in what we have and not what we’ve lost. But it doesn’t matter if you are ten years old or forty, a part of you aches for the past you never knew. A past that was stolen from you as you were forced on a new path that might never have had to be.
We smile as we walk forward and read inspirational quotes about not looking back. We try to appreciate the glow and warmth of the sun on our face and not the coldness of our forgotten past on our back. For the abandoned, for the given away, for the sold, for those that know… it is never easy to remember the sun even when it is in front of your face.
I get the struggle.
I live it with a glass in my hand on this day. But we’ll be ok because we have to be, as it has always been.
I could count the rays of the sun, but why would I want to steal the light. Reminding myself of folding night, I look for the darkness from above. Considering the missing heartbeats between a thought, a glancing moment from the start. Trying to appreciate what moments are. From end to end, new beginnings and more.