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I uninstall my accounts from my phone every month. Then reinstall them a few days later! Hahahaha! -OM
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Unicorn Rhino

I’m soooo OVER social media!

Yes, I am included in the mass followers of social media. Yes, I have accounts in a few platforms. Yes, I spend abundant amounts of my time on them daily. No, I do not particularly find mindless scrolling on Facebook enjoyable or engaging. No, Snapchat is not then end all be all of comedy. Yes, Pinterest has some neat ideas. Instagram, meh. Well, that pretty much sums up my not so impressive social media forums. I mean, I did at one point have MySpace but I’m certain all of that is lost somewhere in cyberspace.

MySpace

Awe, MySpace! Such a fond memory. I think MySpace was the introductory social media platform for most people in my demographic group. Oh, the days of old! Ha. A space online for yourself! Fill it with who and what you want!

It was new, seemingly uncharted territory. Create a…

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It isn’t fair…

I hate singing shows like the Idol, The Voice, AMGT, and the X Factor. You know the shows where kids get to audition and sing their hearts out for a shot at stardom. I can’t stand those programs…

They Make Me So Jealous!

I was a singer as a kid and sang professionally with the Memphis Boys Choir till I lost my voice. Yes, I sang soprano till I was almost sixteen and realized it wasn’t cool to sing like a girl. At least back then it wasn’t. A kid could get beat up for singing like that…

I loved music and I had a strong voice. Not like the one I have now that sounds like I shoved gravel down my throat and it is rattling every time I talk. I was actually a decent singer and was in a few plays as well. I don’t know if I would have auditioned for one of those shows if they were around when I was a child… but it isn’t fair that I didn’t get the chance!

I am sure someone older than me is going to use some older example about how great I must have had it as a child because they were kicking rocks for fun down the street and running from tigers in a forest.

Boohoo… this is my pity post. Yours is down the hall.

-OM

@smokendust

Pen thieves

You really have to watch out for pen thieves and they are everywhere like people that take your lighter! Many don’t even know they are pen thieves! Incredibly right? They’ll walk right off with your belonging and not give it a second thought. I’ve encountered these people while working in restaurants and in offices, and it is infuriating!

I propose pen theft be given a minimum of one hundred years in prison.

Per pen.

-Opinionated Man

@smokendust

Things You Don’t Want to Hear at Work

1 – “WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING?!?!?”

2 – “First, I want you to know how much we appreciate you and the work you do here.”

3 – “We are closing the downstairs vending machine until further notice.”

4 – About your life. Unless I ask. I won’t ask.

5 – Mandatory

6 – Buyout or Bought or “We just got bought! Ahhhhh!!!”

7 – Triple beep card rejection. This can mean many things depending on where you work. We forgot to renew your smartcard or… I’ve known some companies that let you know you are terminated by simply not letting you in the building that morning.

8 – “Who knows what an ice breaker is?”

9 – If you have a really annoying laugh and everyone can hear you… don’t laugh. Just save your laughter for your car ride home and the whole ride laugh to yourself to get it out. If you can’t figure out if you have an annoying laugh ask a few strangers for an honest opinion. Don’t ask friends. Your friends probably have annoying laughs as well…

-OM

@smokendust