The Quiet Descent to Tender Ground

Check out Alexis Rose and give her posts a read! Also check out her book Untangled!
Note: Comments disabled here. Please visit their blog.

Untangled

Eight years, 2 months of muscle straining, oxygen deprived, mind exploding, grief-laden work to manage the grip of the skeleton hands of the past.

The rocky terrain and deep crevasses that held the traps of programmed words ready to pull me down into oblivion.

Deafening winds, echoes of the past knocking me down, pushing me sideways, making it hard to grip the rope. The storm passes, allowing rest in the snow caves of acceptance.

So many times, wanting to give up, give in to the beast of symptoms. But trusting, knowing, that my Sherpa would guide me through the sharpest peaks and deepest valleys.

Summiting many times, thinking there were no more hidden mountains. Then catching glimpse of the last, gnarly climb looming just around the bend. Everything inside me screams, “No, leave it,” but I realize that climbing all but that last steep incline would leave me stuck, and…

View original post 126 more words

The Gifts of Writing a Memoir

If you have an itch or a yearning to write your memoir, I encourage you to go for it. Even if you are the only one who reads it, writing your story can bring unimaginable gifts.

Eighteen months ago, I anxiously waited for my memoir, Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph to go live on Amazon. What a wonderful, unexpected and humbling time it has been.

I took a huge risk by writing and publishing my memoir. My entire life was focused on keeping quiet, not telling, protecting those I loved, or who loved me. It took me a long time to understand that by keeping quiet, I was actually protecting the people who hurt me in my life. Writing Untangled was a way to announce in a really big way, that I will not keep quiet any longer.

I literally went from telling no one but my therapist about my past to throwing my arms up, and saying, okay, let’s go for it, and tell everyone at once. My husband and children read the book before it was released to the public, but close friends, acquaintances, and long-lost friends learned the truth of my past when they read the book.  Were there big reactions? You bet there were! Of course, they reacted. The biggest reaction was sadness that they didn’t know what was happening at the time and that feeling that if they knew, they could have helped. I get that reaction, I probably would have felt the same way upon hearing of a friend’s brutal past. But, they couldn’t have helped and it was imperative to my safety that I kept quiet. I used to feel guilty that I somehow hurt my friend’s feelings that I didn’t share my past, but I’ve learned to let go of that.

In the book, I talk about my life and some of the trauma I experienced.  I write about how I repressed my memories and how I managed to raise a family and live a life where I mistakenly convinced myself, that my hidden past had no effect or impact on my life. The last part of the book is my healing journey. Untangled isn’t about naming names or the horrific specifics of what happened to me. I don’t feel people, especially those of us who have been through trauma need to read and be triggered by another’s specific tales of horror.

I do, however, explain in detail the feelings that went along with being hurt, traumatized, abandoned, neglected. I don’t shy away from feeling words such as fear, emptiness, loneliness, embarrassment, shame, etc.  One of the most humbling gifts of Untangled is that when people read the book, they find it is relatable. The events that happened to me may not be relatable, but the effects, the feelings, the sense of no-self is something that a lot of people experience, or they know and love someone who has experienced those things.

We all have feelings, but we may not all be able to articulate them, we may doubt or judge our feelings, or that terrible feeling that no one else could possibly understand this kind of emotional pain. I lived with that terrible alone feeling until a year ago. Now from the feedback of the readers of Untangled, I know that I am not alone. Admittedly, the validation is a bit of a paradox…I’m so relieved to be validated by relatability and so sad to be validated by relatability.

Writing gave me the courage I needed to address the pain I was feeling. I would write even when I thought I had nothing to write about. I began to notice that I was able to write down what I couldn’t say aloud.  It provided distance from having to use my voice. What I discovered was that writing actually gave me a voice.  When I still couldn’t speak a truth, I found, if I read what I wrote out loud to my therapist, that I WAS speaking the truth. The bonus for me as that He didn’t freak out or go away. The gift of Untangled is that people also don’t freak out and run away. The book has been a tool for conversation.

I am frequently asked if I was afraid for my safety when I released the book?  To be honest, I felt a lot of fear for my safety and took as many precautions as I could, but in the end, I just really wanted to share my story. I wanted to share what it looks like to live through unimaginable circumstances for 20 plus years, with continued threats to stay silent and still be determined to be live not just survive.  I knew that this was my truth, and by publishing my story and continue to talk about the effects of trauma and the resulting PTSD that no one could ever take my past, my truth away from me again.

There are so many gifts from Untangled. The gift of writing, the gift of remembering, the gift of a congruent past, the gift of trying to remove the stigma of living with an illness. I wouldn’t have started writing a blog if I hadn’t written my memoir. I was told to start a blog in order to market a book. I never, in my wildest dreams knew the world of connection that awaited me last October when I wrote my first post. Not only have I connected with survivors and mental health professionals, but I also have connected with poets, authors, thinkers, travelers, photographers, fun-loving lets blog for the heck of it people all over the world. I’m a better person because of all these connections. There are some people I’ve met that have changed my life. I’m grateful every day for my blog.

I’m not ready to leave Untangled behind. I’m excited every time someone purchases the book, I wish I could personally thank every person. I don’t ever take it for granted. I love getting reviews on Amazon, I love hearing the feedback. I hope that the readership grows each month. As I look to the future, collaborate on a writing project, and think about what direction I’m going next, I feel eternally grateful for writing my memoir. If you ever wanted to write your book, I encourage you to go for it. You never know what gifts await you, who comes into your life and what new doors open and new dreams emerge.

front-cover-biz-card-final

Thank you for reading my memoir, Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph

http://www.amazon.com/Untangled-story-resilience-courage-triumph/dp/1514213222

https://www.amazon.com/Untangled-story-resilience-courage-triumph-ebook/dp/B013XA4856

Wolf Pack Moon

wolf-pack-moon-ad

By Clark Carr on December 8, 2016
Format: Paperback
“Wolf Pack Moon” is a great title, you have to admit. And the poem of the same title inside is just as good. The whole of the 100 pages is filled with delightful “If I were…” poems. Really a good read, and here’s what’s cool — NOT just if you’re a poet. All of the poems were written, Rensberry says, within a couple months. And they do feel like a close family. There are so many fine lines…

“If I were an onion, I’d make you cry…” from a poem named ‘Bully.’ Very clever.

You begin to get the idea that “If I were…” does not just mean “if” but “when I will…” or “when I was…” or “maybe I am…” Which, of course, is what poetry should be about, along with science fiction. Or daydreaming. Or wishful thinking.

There are serious poems like ‘Wounded’ or ‘San Quentin’ and others that perhaps go a smidgen into the bully pulpit. (How many times do you find ‘Pfizer’ and ‘Monsanto’ in one poem?) Poet’s license.

So many fine lines:

“If I were a lake, I’d hide in the mountains…” Isn’t that so true. (From ‘Mountain Boat’)

“If I were the past, I would be driving a cherry Mercury…” Oh, how one remembers when the word ‘cherry’ had the richness of that meaning.

“If I were a lie, I might be the truth…” Oh, yes, yes. (From ‘Justice’)

And on and on. May I recommend this book to middle school or high school teachers. These are poems that young people would like to read, and you might even be able to get them to recite one aloud. They yearn for that.

Buy this book. Give it to a friend. Maybe even sneak a private read first!

By Clark Carr
Author/poet

Richard Rensberry       amazon.com/author/richardrensberry 

New Book Released – Just In Time for Christmas

Check out Anne’s new release Glimpses of the Past; Heritage of the Old South!
Note: Comments disabled here. Please visit their blog.

The Main Focus

I am excited to announce that Glimpses of the Past; Heritage of the Old South has been released by the publishers today. It is already available online at Amazon in soft cover. Please check back on Barnes & Noble during the week. It will be available in soft cover, hard cover and e-Book (Kindle). Pricing varies according to website and free shipping with limited amount; 274 pages, an historical novel on events and dates of the American Civil War. Synopsis and description of the book:

Glimpses of the Past; Heritage of the Old South is an historical novel about the Old South during the Civil War. Few historical novels have presented the Old South in such a heartfelt manner with brutalities of the war.

The author brings tragedy, devastation and conflict to life in the characters. Families struggled to survive then. The war was significant to both the North and…

View original post 90 more words

Your Vote Counts!

Voting in one direction or another has been known to prevent wars from happening. However the war I’m currently battling is ongoing. Only you, yes you reading this, can help.

It is, by name, Cover Wars. Hosted by Author Shout, it’s a grueling competition between fifteen different book covers each week. Mine is trailing behind at the moment, but I know that can be fixed.

Everyone can vote once in a 24 hour period, which means between now and Saturday you can aid me not once, but four times (yes, 4 times!) in the final battle for best book cover of the week:

15355749_10154227455833174_9064705021994565345_n

Isn’t it beautiful? It was drawn and designed with love by the profoundly talented Belinda Borradaile of the WordPress blog, Idiot Writing.

So come on! Give a gal a hand! …no, stop clapping and get over to Author Shout and vote!

I promise if you do, you’ll have my eternal gratitude and Jason will smile and wave at you from where ever he happens to be viewing the comments when you say you’re gonna do it. What could be better than that?!

P.S. Please share this far and wide on whatever social media you have. I have a lot of catching up to do!

Cover Wars – All Good Stories

15355749_10154227455833174_9064705021994565345_n

Want to help an author out???

Linda G. Hill’s book “All Good Stories” is in a Cover War for top spot!

Many of you know Linda as a blogger and have interacted with her through her blog. Her weekly prompts help generate community and inspire blogging.

Want to help her out FOR FREE?

Click the link below and VOTE FOR HER COVER on the blog!

http://authorshout.com/cover-wars/