A new kind of math

Those of us with IBS or Crohn’s know the struggle. And now with limited toilet paper, there are definite decisions to make.

I’ve created a math based on need. If I go all the time I’ll quickly run out of my stores like I did eggs. So the math is simple – I use a BR, which is a bubble rate of my stomach, divided by pressure (obviously pressure in my stomach and butt), and I multiple it by the negative decrease in toilet paper. The rate I’ve come to is two times a day which is a struggle.

Now I know most medical books will say a normal human should go once a day. I’m abnormal I guess. I beat that math by 9 am and I trump the odds by lunch time. So I use this math as a litmus test to amuse myself while I count the squares I also use in the process. I’m sure some scientist is going to tell me my equation is wrong.

Well I failed math in the eighth grade… so that wouldn’t surprise me.


Scary times

I don’t care to speculate.

It’s scary times.

When you go to the store and all the shelves are almost bare.

When you sit and watch your stocks and 401K plummet.

I know some people have been through this before. It’s scary.

You get to view how immature society can still be. How we can act like animals. But also how we can still act like angels.

Acts of kindness seem to be rarer and rarer. It doesn’t take much to be kind. To do a favor, to help someone in need.

Even stopping your hand for a moment and taking a deep breath and realizing other people are worried sick. It doesn’t help to speculate and it doesn’t take much to be a human.

Let’s be kind.

-Opinionated Man



She sits upon a ledge,

I watch her heart beat from afar.

A perfect sunset, sitting Star.

My moment for a moment’s edge.

I hear her sigh, why does she sigh.

As a mile seems to pass by.

A tear breaks the moonlight.

Passing through my heart’s light.

And with her sigh, and with her cry.

She becomes a sunset before my eye.



Not today Satan

I killed my first scorpion the other day.

I opened the garage and it tried to come inside and went under my car. I had to grab a broom to sweep it out from underneath and then stomped on it shouting “You Shall Not Pass!!!”

Not today Satan.


Toilet paper woes

Well apparently this toilet paper craze is a real thing in the states.

Instead of a beer run I went on a toilet paper run with a co worker to Costco and they were totally out! The Costco employee gave me the look when I asked as if to say “you are about 3 hours late moron.”

Then I find this on Amazon…

This should be illegal like up selling water bottles during a natural disaster. Seriously! That’s twice the amount for the comfort of my butt.

I’m thinking of opening a business selling gently used toilet paper on Amazon. I think I could make good money.

-Opinionated Man