I hurt myself laughing over this…


I knew I should have taken that domain name!

-Opinionated Angry Asian Man



10 Things Not to Say to an Asian

  1. -Do your parents speak English? No, they kind of wave their arms around and point at things while grunting.
  2. So do you like eat rice every day? So do you like eat fat every day?
  3. When did you come to this country? How do you know I wasn’t born here?
  4. Do you eat Asian food? While assuming we eat every type of Asian food you can think of IS annoying… also asking us obvious questions such as this one is pretty lame as well.
  5. Is that your dad? (points at random Asian man) No, is that your dad? (points at the first person he sees… man or woman.)
  6. Do you celebrate Chinese New Year’s? Do I look Chinese? Wait… don’t answer that. I SAID DON’T ANSWER THAT!
  7. Could you suggest a good Asian restaurant to go to? Sure, try The Drunken Chinese Chopstick Eating Dragon Wonton. I hear it is excellent!
  8. Go back to your country! If I did that who would do your math homework?
  9. What is the easiest Asian language to take for college credit… I just want to pass! Chinese is so easy and takes little effort. Go and be a star!
  10. Can you show me real quick how to use these chopsticks? How about I show you how to use a fork instead… deal?


Being Asian

I’m always amused when people get surprised by our ages… well most of our ages. Sorry Kwan, you just look old as hell.

People will say “holy shit did you know Khangi is 45!”

Well he did say he has two kids that are married…

“I know! I just thought had had kids at 15 or something. I was sure he was no older than 30!”

Well I’m 35…

“Holy shit! Nu uh… You aren’t 35… Man fuck Asians!”

I’ve actually had a conversation that went exactly that way. No joke. And more than once.