I created this blog January 3rd, 2013.
Today I got billed again, I guess I’ll keep going another year since it auto charged me.
My dream last night was horrible and frustrating… my wife left me and my kids were gone and I couldn’t find them. This dream was particularly painful because for some reason I was in Korea and she suddenly disappeared with my Gracie. I’m not sure where Anna was.
My focus though was suddenly on searching for an address on my phone. All I could do was keep trying, but the search function kept not working.
I tried over and over.
It was the address for my birth mom in Busan.
I was so focused on that, I couldn’t run to my wife and kid each time I saw them. It was like I was trapped between two wants.
What’s particularly sad is – I’ve given up looking for my birth mom and sister and have tried to move on.
I don’t even want to see them anymore, but I’d die if I lost my wife and kids. So this dream was particularly fucked up.
Jason
44.1
I’m happy you renewed your blog and I’m happy it was just a dream. Those kinds of dreams really suck, though. I hate waking up in tears.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m happy it was just a dream too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yikes! Last night seems to have been the night for bad dreams. Mine could have been a slasher/vampire/porn movie. I’m not happy at all that I remember any of it, and I AM on my meds. I’ve only recently started blogging again and trying to make it substantive. I guess my subconcious is trying to run me off from the attempt. It honestly scares the hell out of me. There are years I’ve paid for my plan and not written a single word. I’m that damn scared of putting the real me out there.
You are really brave. Don’t let repressed fears claim you now. Keep writing. We’re all on your side. Sleep well, Hon. Sleep sweet.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you and I wish you good sleep soon!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mad dog 2020 as in for the vote. ;). Touching bit of the ripple to do the day. 80’s alley rainbow I have not had. Anyways you can want but it’s nice you focus as you actually choose. I want dim sum. If you can’t tell.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Dim sum sounds good right now actually.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Turned magically into a crown burger 1/4 lbs.er.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It sound like you want to let go, but your subconscious still wants to find your mom and sister. You may not be able to give it all up until you’ve exhausted every possible way to make contact with one or the other.
If I were you I’d keep the blog going, it’s a good outlet for your frustrations, and a way to express your feeling to people who really don’t know you, personally.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s good you all don’t know me personally. You’d hate me lol.
LikeLiked by 3 people
That we’ve hung in over the years would prove otherwise.
LikeLiked by 3 people
But what if I smell!!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I always consider that an axiom.
LikeLiked by 3 people
You don’t smell.
laughs maniacally
LikeLiked by 1 person
But I could lol.
LikeLike
But you don’t. I know this. laughs maniacally again
LikeLiked by 1 person
😂🤷♂️
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow, I think last night was the night for fucked up dreams! I’ve been taking melatonin to get back to my regular sleeping pattern since my sporadic schedule during the holidays and it gives me some pretty vivid nightmares. Last night, I dreamt I threw my cat out the balcony and watched him splatter on the concrete. And then I was followed around an abandoned commercial kitchen by shadow people with glowing eyes.
Having nightmares about your loved ones leaving you are the worst ones. To me, they always feel the most realistic, even after waking up.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That’s a very scary one and the violence makes it more real. I get it!!!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wow. Scary. I had freaky dreams last night that were extremely unpleasant. But didn’t really involve people I was very close to. Prayers my friend.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Bad dreams will do a number! I hope you have a good day to balance them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You too my friend. Glad you are still blogging! Been following you forever!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m like a bad habit lol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Haha. Like popcorn at the movies:)
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re definitely avoiding confronting feelings that deeply buried. Your subconscious that is suppressed while you’re awake is allowed to run free in your sleep.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s running free now without my meds. The struggle is real.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is natural to be scared to loose the souls, as we love, Jason.
The best you can do to avoid that, is to be the man and Dad, as they need. Just to be the best possible Jason 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks Irene. I guess we all have fears and this dream was like I was torn between two worlds.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I hear you Jason. Do you feel torn between two worlds in real life? Sometimes we get reminded in our dreams about, what is important to us.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s my past, my present, and future. New Years does it to you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You are right. Just take good care of the most important for you.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Sometimes dreams are resolved by trust we see our dreads and fears are powerful, deceitful beings. Yes they are like living things. Perfect love casts out fear and trust in the invisible power of God reveals to us as the hand we can give to enable Him to boot fear out. Corny often said praying for you Jason. All four… xxx
LikeLiked by 2 people
Unresolved issues. Maybe I’m not done.
LikeLiked by 1 person