“No I don’t celebrate Chinese New Year.”
“Martial arts? I know how to swing a stick. Does that count?”
“Yes I’ve eaten kimchi. I’m adopted, not dead.”
“No I can’t show your son how to use chopsticks. He can’t even use a fork.”
“No I’m not Japanese.”
“No I’m not Vietnamese.”
“Yes I’m Korean. Yes… I’m sure…
No… not North Korea…”
“Yes I realize Cushman isn’t a Korean name.
Yes… I’m really sure I’m Jason Chandler Cushman…”
“Yea… that’s my mom. No… I’m not half white. Yes… … I’m sure…”
“No I didn’t steal this credit card. Yes, I have my drivers license to prove it.”
“No I don’t have a green card. Yes I realize immigrants should have one. I’m nationalized. Yes… I’m sure. Ok… I’ll get my paperwork, been here since I was 3.”
“Yes I speak English and understand what you are saying. No… I don’t require a translator.
Yes… I still understand and follow the conversation at hand.”
“No I don’t have an opinion on Chinese Communism and history unless you want to discuss the Silk Road and the Boxer rebellion which I wrote papers on in college.”
“Yes I’ve briefly been to Japan on the way to Korea. Yes I like sushi.”
“No I don’t speak Korean. Because I was adopted. Well… I didn’t choose that route. It was sort of chosen for me.”
“Yes I realize I should learn to speak Korean someday. I’d also like to learn to be a botanist someday, all in good time I suppose.”
“I changed my name because no one would be able to spell my Korean name and I’d get irritated daily because of it. I basically saved myself a lifetime of irritation. Yes… I’m still proud to be Korean.”
“I’m rooting for both teams… no I don’t feel a need to pick between the USA and Korea, I hope for a good game.
This isn’t a war, I don’t have to choose sides ok? Fuck off!”