Chasing happiness

Like a sigh of sweat red wine.

A whispered goodbye that never dies.

I feel it like a tap on my shoulder.

A look back I can’t remember.

Chasing happiness with a pen.

Chasing happiness within.

Not knowing the definition.

Only that there’s a destination.

A point I am supposed to reach.

Something no one can teach.

It all ends in a sigh.

As we chase that which can’t be defined.



I don’t window shop

I don’t window shop.

I really don’t get the attraction. It’s like walking around a casino without any money and watching other people play slot machines and win.

That sucks.

I don’t browse either. The only browsing I do is when I’m searching for the specific item I’m already looking for.

I know women like to “window shop” all the time… although if we are honest they normally end up buying something, even if it’s a smaller item.

So that’s not really window shopping either.

And if you ever hear “but it was on sale!” don’t fall for it. I used to work at Sears and we just moved the sale signs around and just changed the percentages…

There’s always a “sale.”

-Opinionated Man

New year, new me

I don’t have to hide anymore.

At least for now.

There may come a time when I’ll have to change the drapes and put a new coat of paint on this blog. For now, I’m feeling like my old self.

You’ll find that if you experience freedom and then it’s taken away, the chains that bind your hands slowly begin to lose their weight after time.

Or at least that’s how it should be.

You may also find that if your website becomes popular enough, it will become popular to hate you. As strong as you may think your domain is, it becomes a house of cards if you knock the right one loose.

I’m fortunate that the tide has moved on. I don’t miss the traffic, I don’t miss the attention. All I’ve ever wanted was a corner to share my thoughts, my dreams, my fears… and sometimes my hate.

I’m glad it’s quiet again. I like the dark.




3:34 am

I tested drinking beer again this weekend and I think it’s still a no go.

It causes bleeding somewhere and my stomach hurts.

I can still drink scotch, but it is becoming clearer that I should not drink beer at all.

I’m gonna really miss Stella and peroni. I won’t miss the pain.

I recently started on a new stomach med that I had to get internationally and it’s been a game changer. I felt like a drug dealer when a package from India appeared with 365 pills in it. I haven’t had a major flare up in awhile.

But when the blood is bright red and it’s a lot… that’s probably not a great sign. My pop is a doctor, I’m obviously not, but I’d be dumb to ignore the signs. I don’t “need” beer, but I do need scotch. I’m glad it doesn’t seem to tear me up like I get after a few beers.

It could have been the guacamole though. It did have tiny pieces of jalapeños hidden in it, but even that wouldn’t cause the blood. It would just make my stomach hurt and bubble, and me to hate life.

After 38 years and battling any name you can give irritable bowl syndrome and crohns, I know my body. Doesn’t mean I always do the best thing for it though.

I’m sure gonna miss a cold beer.

-Opinionated Man