New year, new resolutions

1. I’m going to drink more this year. My fight with crohns has really settled out and as long as I don’t eat super spicy or greasy things, I’m ok. I’ll take a double Johnny black 18, give the ice to the birds.

2. I’m going to gain more weight. I’ve weighed 150 pounds since I was 16, I’m now 37, but in recent years my weight has dropped. I eat, maybe not copious amounts of fat, but I eat. It just won’t stay on. And yes, I’ve heard the “give it time, it’s gonna catch up to you one day” lines. But do those people poop like I do? That’s the true question.

3. I hope to get rid of at least two guinea pigs. We currently have 3 that live in two cages. It takes me roughly thirty minutes every week and a half to clean them, then I also have to clip their nails. I’m still not sure how we ended up with three… …

4. Find Snow’s address and negotiate a way where he doesn’t come this year. Yes, I mean snow in general…

5. Get a raise. And not by driving part time for Uber. I’d rather work at McDonald’s and slyly eat free French fries and nuggets all day. I bet that would also help me on my number two goal come to think of it.

6. I need to run more and I got these really cool running shoes to do it in. Here I’ll show you

The problem is that I lost my sweats and it is cold outside. I keep “conveniently” forgetting to buy new ones too. Plus, that would cause me to lose weight and totally defeat two’s purpose. Twos have feelings too you know.

7. Less

-OM

@smokendust

44.1

30 thoughts on “New year, new resolutions

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