Highs and Lows

I’ve always ridden my highs and lows in life because there has always been a bell curb of the day… the week… or the flip of a switch of the moment. As I begin to get used to this new management role I am also being reminded of the need to be professional. I used to think this meant one thing, be an unfeeling asshole. I am starting to learn that it can be whatever you want it to be.

I’m a complainer. I know… shocker. Anyone that reads this blog can hear me, hear my voice, and normally my voice is giving voice to a complaint. I don’t know why, perhaps I am just a judgmental bastard or maybe I can blame the orphanage as a child. I still eat like an orphan after all.

The problem with me is that I care too much. You always hear people say “I don’t do things half assed,” but it’s true. I don’t. When I take something on I fully jump in, even if it is a lost cause. I sure am glad I haven’t found myself on the losing side of a war this lifetime.

I was told I need to work on not allowing so much emotion into my voice. It is a little amusing considering I have a monotonous voice that I wouldn’t even wish upon myself, but I am assuming what was being called is my annoyance and how easily I show my frustration through my tone. My wife says I project my emotions so strongly that people can feel it in the room. That probably also explains why I don’t have many friends. Humans tend to not like people that are too high or too low depending on the hour you catch them on. My hours don’t follow the sun.

I do need to learn to not complain as much and internalize some of those emotions. As a manager I have to recognize that my attitude affects those around me. It makes me wonder if anyone really took a strong look at me before putting me into this position because anyone that works around me knows I ride the waves. I am the wave.

Sometimes I don’t know what to call it and I don’t even want to grace it with a name. My everything that is nothing brings me down and I feel so depressed that I just want everyone to leave me alone.

But now I am in a position where I am never alone and a constant finger is always tapping me on the shoulder. It makes me want to shoot the sun sometimes… or let the sun run over me.

-Opinionated Man



13 thoughts on “Highs and Lows

  1. Pingback: Sunday Share: Y2W10 | All In A Dad's Work

  2. You are who you are and that will not change! Celebrate in what you are, I have never found you to be anything but honest. Management is always a difficult role. My lads found that, my eldest sometimes actually walks across the room to talk to people who send him emails, also will chat 💜. Shocks them rigid. I like your videos and voice, to be honest none of us like the sound of our voices… I hate mine!


  3. You are who you are Jason. You have a rich full, bodied, masculine voice. You could delver very bad news in that tone and nobody would realize it’s bad news. What sort of management style to you use?

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Perhaps it is not the emotion in your voice they don’t like but rather the truth you speak. Everyone wants to hear sweet nothings. Nobody ever wants to hear the truth.

    Liked by 1 person

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