Highs and Lows

I’ve always ridden my highs and lows in life because there has always been a bell curb of the day… the week… or the flip of a switch of the moment. As I begin to get used to this new management role I am also being reminded of the need to be professional. I used to think this meant one thing, be an unfeeling asshole. I am starting to learn that it can be whatever you want it to be.

I’m a complainer. I know… shocker. Anyone that reads this blog can hear me, hear my voice, and normally my voice is giving voice to a complaint. I don’t know why, perhaps I am just a judgmental bastard or maybe I can blame the orphanage as a child. I still eat like an orphan after all.

The problem with me is that I care too much. You always hear people say “I don’t do things half assed,” but it’s true. I don’t. When I take something on I fully jump in, even if it is a lost cause. I sure am glad I haven’t found myself on the losing side of a war this lifetime.

I was told I need to work on not allowing so much emotion into my voice. It is a little amusing considering I have a monotonous voice that I wouldn’t even wish upon myself, but I am assuming what was being called is my annoyance and how easily I show my frustration through my tone. My wife says I project my emotions so strongly that people can feel it in the room. That probably also explains why I don’t have many friends. Humans tend to not like people that are too high or too low depending on the hour you catch them on. My hours don’t follow the sun.

I do need to learn to not complain as much and internalize some of those emotions. As a manager I have to recognize that my attitude affects those around me. It makes me wonder if anyone really took a strong look at me before putting me into this position because anyone that works around me knows I ride the waves. I am the wave.

Sometimes I don’t know what to call it and I don’t even want to grace it with a name. My everything that is nothing brings me down and I feel so depressed that I just want everyone to leave me alone.

But now I am in a position where I am never alone and a constant finger is always tapping me on the shoulder. It makes me want to shoot the sun sometimes… or let the sun run over me.

-Opinionated Man

44.1

@smokendust

Its been Too Long!! ….yet we are slaves to society…..

Welcome back! I definitely hear you on the work part… sigh… -OM
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Common, Mad and just Plain Simple ......

I haven’t blogged since Sep 2016….SHOCKING…but….I cant just blame the old laptop for having sticky keys… it’s really me as well  …..cant be asked with it, technology and all its frustration…too looooonggg…

(I hope all my followers haven’t given up on me…..I have noticed your all on a roll with your blogs and challenges…fair play to the lot of you…..)

Work has kept me busy, so much so that when I get home, I just want to get in a hot bath and chillax…in bed……..getting too old for this manual labour.  BUT, now I have a working laptop, Fibre optic internet…woohooo, I am determined (like a new year resolution…lol..), to try and blog at least a couple of times a week……weather depending,…. LOL……

When I say work has kept me busy…I stop…and take into account how many people work 7 days a week…I use to…for over 12 years, got sick…

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Prayers needed

Sending good vibes. 👍🙂 -OM
We all need encouragement sometimes.
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Therapy Bits

guys
more prayers needed here.
I really want to be able to get to my weigh in tonight. I’ve been working so hard this week, I am just hoping that the bad weather we’ve been having doesn’t effect my travel to the slimming world group.
if you pray say a couple of prayers, or send me good vibes, good thoughts, whatever, that I’ll get there.
I’ll be forever grateful to you.
I did weigh myself on my own scales, but I don’t want to go off of that, because I have found it unreliable in the past. it did say I am down by a considerable amount of weight, I wont say by how much, until tonight and until I get weighed in by Anne marie.
If I am really down by the amount the scales has told me, I’ll be doing happy dances and fist pumps all night probably…

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Simple want

I’ve never known a wrong so well as I know one right now. It feels like a smooth handle with a cold copper top.Sometimes it stings so right and feels like the bitter cold realization that you can’t turn back. You can’t undo what has been done as you rub your fingers together and look what you have done. The stain of life so bright that it turns the night into day as the fog fades away.Everything is so right again as the wrong deed that has been done begins to fade.And all that is left is the memory of pain and the want to feel it again.JC44.1@smokendust