Abuse

10/28/2017

Today I went to Walmart to prep for the party none of you are invited to…

When I’m walking out I see this guy violently slam his passenger door, there wasn’t anyone in it, and then stormed around to the front. I assume it was the front, he was a short man. When I say “violently slammed” he literally shut it three times. I don’t know how, maybe his door is broken, but it happened and I thought it was strange.

I kept walking.

His car, a white Crown Vic like an undercover cop car, sped down to the end of the parking lot where it stopped suddenly by a girl. He hopped out and started yelling and she yelled back.

I put my stuff in the trunk and shut it. Looked around and saw some people watching.

The guy put his hands on her shoulders in a firm shake.

I looked at the people around me and asked “anyone gonna call the cops?”

“Not unless he hits her,” a woman replied with a firmness in her voice from my right, she was standing by her concerned husband.

A dude walked by me and we talked.

“It’s too early for all that yelling,” I said to him.

“Sure is.” He said shaking his head, but smiling at my comment.

“I’d go down and stop him if he hit her, but he hasn’t.” I said to him as I turned back to my car. “You take care man.”

“You too man.”

I got in my car and drove down to the end of the parking lot so I was only eight parking spaces away, there was another truck parked as well with someone concerned inside.

I watched as they argued some more and then she got in the car.

She decided to get back in.

I shook my head.

The guy was about to get in his car when he noticed his audience finally, finally noticed his shouts and her yells had been heard by half the parking lot in Flatirons.

“What bro? You want to record me too?” he yelled in my direction.

My window was cracked and I’ll admit a few thoughts ran through my head. I am a father and I don’t know what this guy has on him. I know that all I witnessed was a loud argument and no physical violence. Yes, shaking someone is assault, but hard to prove unless it leaves bruises and there are cameras with witnesses. Besides what it really all boiled down to was this… she got back in the car on her own free will.

I drove away.

Jason C. Cushman

-Opinionated Man

44.1

@smokendust

Note: There are many things I could and sometimes want to write on this topic, but most of it has been shared. This was a random Saturday morning. I thought I’d share it. Some may criticize me for what I did or did not do.

34 thoughts on “Abuse

  1. I’ve seen police walk away from situations like this. So you calling the police probably would’ve resulted in nothing except her getting the shit beaten out of her when they got home.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I would have called the cops when he began shaking her not because I think they would have been of any use but because this:
    In the psychology behind abuse, abusers take silence or inaction as approval. Furthermore, through a lot of complex emotional battery they often convince their victims that their worldview is the “correct” one, and that the victim is “overreacting” or imagining this is not ok. The act of someone calling the police, even if it didn’t solve it in the immediate, would have created some cracks in the delusion the abuser creates, sent a signal that someone else out there saw this and thinks it’s not ok too.

    Liked by 2 people

    • One time me and my husband intervened on a guy abusing his girlfriend. At the time she was angry at us and left with him, but three months later we came off stage from playing a show and the same girl came up to us out of the audience and goes “do you remember me? You’re that couple who stepped in when I was having that argument with my boyfriend” and she thanked us for what she did.

      But, I also wouldn’t recommend personal intervention unless you’re prepared for wherever it may go. Remember, I’m not just a feminist, I’m a virago! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  3. If it was a dad and his teenaged daughter, I can understand a very loud argument, and even understand taking her by the shoulders to shake some sense into her. He didn’t hit her. Realizing people were watching was probably enough to prevent anything further, although I suspect he wouldn’t have hit her any. If he was a hitter, that would already have happened. I think you did the right thing by watching until the incident was over, and being willing to step in if it had, in fact, escalated. Nothing more you could have done in this case, Jason.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. What a hard call to make. I’m glad someone was looking out for her. Just in case. She may have had no choice to get back in the car sadly. But yeah. You confront him? Everyone has a gun these days and then you get shot and then what.
    But you cared enough to stay and make sure she was ok. If she weren’t you could’ve gotten his tag and called it in.

    Liked by 2 people

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