Why I Care About the Subscriber Number

Disclaimer: Bad humor and language

Someone asked me once “well what good are all those subscribers?”

Ok, I’ll list them.

1 – I could be dying and need blood. My blog might help me find that rare blood type I probably am, but don’t know for sure because I’m lazy on health and don’t know my own blood type. I believe it is green.

2 – I could be giving away three guinea pigs and need people to adopt them because I am fucking sick and tired of cleaning their fucking cages!!! … but I love you boys, Noah, Snowy, and Luke…


3 – This is a real fear. I could be driving around in bumblefuck New Mexico and some cop pulls me over and arrests me because he thinks I look like an illegal alien he has seen. I don’t memorize phone numbers due to the day and age of cell phones. So there I am young, cute, virgin butthole in prison and I can’t call for help. Gee I wish I had a blog with 50,000 subscribers that might begin to miss me and ask where I am…

To be continued…

-OM

@smokendust

35 thoughts on “Why I Care About the Subscriber Number

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