I struggle with the need. I fight it after the need is addressed… it is a losing battle I have lost. Sometimes it feels like being addicted to addiction. I try to cut myself a break; I try to see myself through the need.
I struggle. Life struggles back. We fight a little bit and then kiss and make up. I fight to let the struggle know I am alive. That I still own my own resolve. The fight back lets me know it is an active struggle. I strive to keep my head above that struggle.
I live. And that is all I can hope to do. I smile at all the smiles I’ve let die. I struggle to remember what those smiles look like.
I struggle and then smile some more.