Travel Ban

If I were to ban anything from traveling they would be the following…

1 – Mosquitoes would be restricted from ever flying near me and would never be allowed outside the boundaries of the natural forest where they belong.

2 – Bedbugs. Gross. These would be banned from traveling anywhere, ever.

3 – The Patriots NFL team would be restricted and banned from traveling outside of their state thereby forfeiting every away game and consequently losing every season by default. ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

4 – Bears are scary and unpredictable. We can’t have bears just walking down our streets, eating from our trash cans and causing havoc. Bears are now banned from walking in any urban area, please send Gary to inform them.

5 – Clowns are no longer allowed to walk outside the circus premises and clown costumes are now forbidden during all holidays including Halloween.

6 – Sharks are no longer allowed near beaches or any area of water that is swimable or able to be commercialized. If Gary survived the bear trip please send him to the next Shark Week to inform them all.

7 – Aliens must give us a 100 year warning before traveling to planet Earth to destroy us. That seems fair.

8 – The Sun isn’t allowed to go anywhere. The moon too.

9 – Anyone that doesn’t know how to use a blinker on a car isn’t allowed to use one. Isn’t that on the test?

10 – I’m working on a travel ban on Snow. Unfortunately it is an elusive bastard that can’t be banned.

-OM

@smokendust

55 thoughts on “Travel Ban

  1. We should throw in lice and termites for sure. Travel ban on them. And whatever the strepthroat bacteria is. That one needs to not be allowed to travel. The flu either. And people who park in the disabled parking spots that skip into the store (I’m aware of invisible illnesses but we all know that 16 year old boy who just tacked his buddy in the parking lot and then carried his girlfriend piggyback is not disabled) lets put a travel ban on those assholes too. Oh and mosquitos are assholes as well. Definitely ban them

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: My Picks Of The Week 2017 – #26 | A Momma's View

  3. Considering you live in Colorado I imagine that bear thing is not going to happen anytime soon. But I am for Gary giving it the good ole college try and then moving on to the Sharks!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am a “no fly” zone (pun intended). Unfortunately, the flies aren’t aware of the ban and are hence swatted down. While I’m at it, I’m banning the flu, poorly timed rainy days, and Justin Bieber.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Politicians. they’re not allowed to travel outside the district that elected them. They liked them, let them keep them.

    Environmentalists. Seriously. Why do they get to fly to eco meetings where they tell the rest of us that we’re not allowed to drive anywhere.

    Liked by 3 people

      • I agree as long as the word “mine” is used to refer to me, that is, Deon. And if you disagree, can I stay home and not go to work or the store or anywhere else and just have everything including various foods and beverages I request, fat stacks of cash, and prizes delivered to my bunker, please? (he says, hoping that doesn’t sound too eager…) Also, can we require that those who want to see the great and powerful Mumple must request an audience in writing at least a month in advance, instead of ringing my doorbell (ever again) and terrorizing my dog? Will that get me out of having to travel with Mrs M to whatever vacation location she has chosen for early August? She would disagree, so that SHOULD mean that she has to stay home and attend to my whims and passions… ~DM

        Liked by 2 people

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