Things I’ll do IF I win the Powerball

1 – Build a few churches and hire some people to pray for me daily. Maybe even give myself a position?

2 – Feed all the kids and unfeed all the adults.

3 – Create my own Powerball where people give me money and someone supposedly wins weekly.

4 – Change my name to Chang and disappear.

5 – I’ll be the asshole with the exotic pets I never take care of myself (because that’s how your ass gets eaten). Maybe a liger or two.

6 – Buy a television station (so I can’t get fired), host a show where I pay people to clap for me constantly because that has to be great for your self esteem, and prepare an army of lawyers.

7 – Don’t do number 6 and instead buy an island away from everyone I don’t care about.

8 – Taste every single scotch in the world.

9 – Visit all the famous places I want to see before someone blows it up or ruins it.

10 – There are many daily activities I find tedious, but brushing my teeth is top on that list. I’d hire someone to brush my teeth for me, like a personal dentist. Do we really have to do it three times a day though…


47 thoughts on “Things I’ll do IF I win the Powerball

  1. Pingback: The Weekly Headlines – My Daily Musing

  2. Hahah number three sounds like so much more fun than investing! How many times do we even inquire as to who /actually/ won the lottery anyway. It’s probably already how most lotteries work… shifty eyes

    Liked by 2 people

  3. #9 too late for the most part because if you know about it that means tourists have already ruined it.
    #10 Lol I think that would be painful because they won’t know your teeth sensitivity so the amount of training wouldn’t be worth it.
    Feeding children and adults true and agreed but I’d rather teach able
    bodied adults to farm and then they’ll never be hungry again.
    The island sounds like a good idea until I want to shop for clothes and shoes so I’ll need a boa with that.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. On #10:
    My problem is with flossing.
    I have to floss because the food gets stuck between my teeth. But then, when I floss, my gums get indented, and the gap between my teeth gets even wider—ensuring that even more food will embed itself between my teeth next time I eat.
    Hence, it’ll be that much more essential to floss.
    It turns into a chronic vicious cycle.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Ha! You are so funny, OM. Hubby and I have often thought if we win, we’d just hire a team of lawyers and start suing all the stupid people. Not very charitable of me, but as a revenge fantasy, I like it. I have a list going on just in case πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I’m more prosaic than you Jason; I’d pay off my mortgages, taxes, and bills in that order. Gift a small amount to all my god children and nieces and nephews, my siblings and some of my friends. Finally I find a job I might like doing and pursue that as a dilettante, keeping myself in the business by supporting it. Maybe an odd foundation here or there. BUT DEBT FIRST, THEN GIFTS, THEN LIFE’S WORK. Nice thoughts though, thanx for a break in my bleak day. OH AND I’D GO SHOPPING! ~~dru~~

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  7. Save at least half of your winnings and invest them. The prize money may only go so far and you have to take into consideration,taxes. Best to live off the interest from your investments and live sensibly. also beware of new-found friends and relatives after the win, LOL.

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      • I would hope so. But it has ruined a lot of lives. There is a saying in the Bible – “Give me just enough to satisfy my needs. For if I grow rich, I may deny You and say, “Who is the LORD?” And if I am too poor, I may steal and thus insult God’s …” not the exact words but that’s it in a nut shell.


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