Sometimes I feel like I am being punished and I came up with a list of reasons why that might be happening.
I didn’t have wifi on the plane and I get bored.
1 – I did take that Golden Fleece.
2 – This whole time Gary has been Mark Zuckerburg and the joke is on me.
3 – Maybe before the orphanage I was really a prince and all my blessings have been spent.
4 – That wasn’t a deer I hit that day. It was a unicorn and I’m basically fucked.
5 – I’ll come up with more later.