I cannot walk a beach without walking back to the year 2000. Any day turns to that night, that night in Busan as I walked by my shadows and demons. I wanted to walk into the ocean forever and ever. I wanted to die.

You never forget your steps no matter how many more you take. Each new motion towards a step is started with the remembrance of a past step. Sometimes I wish I could remove a hundred steps from my life. Sometimes I miss the three years I don’t remember. Other times I hope I never remember a day of that life.

I see myself in the waves. A younger self, what a fool he was. He walks by a shadow he thinks is his mom.

But it isn’t.

It is his own and will be forever.




23 thoughts on “Pain

  1. Pingback: The Weekly Headlines – My Daily Musing

  2. Raw and Beautiful Jason. I look back and see my past as almost belonging to someone else in parts. Like it was someone else I’m thinking about.
    We all have a past Jason. How we handle it is one of the things that determines who we are today.
    Remembering is ok. Just don’t let it Weight you down. I beat myself up for my past for years, until I finally was able to see it for what it is… the past.
    Take care Jason.

    Liked by 1 person

Share your opinion

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s