Sometimes I feel like I am being punished and I came up with a list of reasons why that might be happening.
I didn’t have wifi on the plane and I get bored.
1 – I did take that Golden Fleece.
2 – This whole time Gary has been Mark Zuckerburg and the joke is on me.
3 – Maybe before the orphanage I was really a prince and all my blessings have been spent.
4 – That wasn’t a deer I hit that day. It was a unicorn and I’m basically fucked.
5 – I’ll come up with more later.
And Denver says welcome back.
She sings to me, how sweet she seems. My mockingbird, she is my queen.
I come to her, she becomes my me. My everything, she is all I need.
I know that things didn’t turn out the way you wanted. They didn’t turn out how I wanted either. I am always amazed at how strong you are, strong enough for us both. You show me how the strong should be. You show me my own weakness.
I’ll make it up to you. Love.
I cannot walk a beach without walking back to the year 2000. Any day turns to that night, that night in Busan as I walked by my shadows and demons. I wanted to walk into the ocean forever and ever. I wanted to die.
You never forget your steps no matter how many more you take. Each new motion towards a step is started with the remembrance of a past step. Sometimes I wish I could remove a hundred steps from my life. Sometimes I miss the three years I don’t remember. Other times I hope I never remember a day of that life.
I see myself in the waves. A younger self, what a fool he was. He walks by a shadow he thinks is his mom.
But it isn’t.
It is his own and will be forever.
I could see it from the start.
A final beating of my heart.
Sudden feeling that I lack.
Becomes my own heart attack.
I fight back with all I know.
Even giving up my soul.
Finally I find myself to blame.
Soulless, heartless, I am not sane.
I now have blood on my hands.
From the heart attack again.