Vodka and sprite

I don’t understand what is so hard about it. All I asked for was a Grey Goose and Sprite and what I ALWAYS get is a vodka and water. Who the fuck drinks vodka and water? Top shelf? Seriously?

I’ve been to a ton of restaurants and it has become a little game we play. “Can the waiter understand my English” is apparently the name of it, and apparently no one can. See I knew my English was bad! Having to learn a second language is hard!

One night I super enunciated too! I asked for a vodka and SsSsssssssss (I actually hissed at him like a snake so he heard the S) PRIiiiiiiiiTTTTTe! Got a damn vodka and water again.

I’ve decided recently that I’m tired of getting the wrong drink so I’ve begun ordering my comfort glass, a double jack and water. Now you can put your fucking water in it…

-OM

44.1

@smokendust

41 thoughts on “Vodka and sprite

  1. Vodka and Sprite?? Ew! As a proud India, I say no, Milord… And you, of the soju tradition must also say – NO!

    Vodka must be had neat, Or, if diluted, with tonic water…

    Not Sprite!!! Don’t promote the Coca Cola company and get them to ruin Vodka!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Vodka and Sprite sounds interesting…

    Personally I’d be tempted to just say, “Sorry, but you got my order wrong. Please take it back and do it right. I ordered a Vodka and a soft drink known as Sprite.”

    …but I’m weird. I like a “CC&Coke” or a “Dr Pepper and Captn Morgan’s Spiced Rum”

    ,,,or just a Coke.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. While I commiserate with not getting what you ordered from your waiter, a grip I have because I’m continually incorrectly served but who the hell drinks top shelf vodka with Sprite? I boggles my mind. If your going to drink a high-octane semblance of a Shandy….use the cheap stuff. ~~dru~~

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I walk into a place in Cedar key Florida and ask for a vodka Martini. I am told that there is only one martini glass and it has been reserved by a customer. While I am thinking that this is so much crap a guy walks in and stands at the bar where I can see him from my table. He proceeds to tell the bartender that he is the guy who called in for the Martini glass.and he would like a martini. So I tell the waitress to forget the glass and get the Martini in a plastic cup (It was a really bad day). She tells me that the owner only lets them make Martinis in the Martini glass. I was getting irritated and told my wife that I was ready to leave. Upon hearing that, the waitress said that she could see if she could get one for me special made in a plastic tumbler.She returns a few minutes later and hands me the drink saying that the owner has relented and made my martini in plastic for me. So I take a drink of it and almost choke; It is not a martini, but rather Vodka and sprite with an olive in it. Upon my commenting to the waitress(I was past complaining at this point) She tells me that the owner doesn’t stock Vermouth…..because he hates Martinis…?????????????????????????????

    Liked by 2 people

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