For Men Only – “Decorative Towels”

Men I thought it might be nice to give you all a quick guide to the anomaly called “the decorative item.” If you have a steady woman, live-in girlfriend, or wife you may have encountered these strange objects around the house and thought to yourself much like me “what the fuck are these for???” Make no mistakes, these items are not to be used . Ever. EVER! They are merely for the… what again? Because not even guest are supposed to use them.

I give you item A men – the decorative towel.


These specimens have been seen throughout the world and are invading bathrooms daily. What are they for? Don’t touch it! …god are you crazy? That was close. Just look. Now consider this, even if for some reason some intruder came in and I saved the day like the Korean Superman I am I still better not use that towel to clean my blood. That towel right there gentlemen… yes, it looks normal doesn’t it? We are all in agreement this is a normal towel? I don’t get it either… next they’ll invent decorative beers…

-OM

@smokendustimg_2167-13

83 thoughts on “For Men Only – “Decorative Towels”

  1. I suppose the untouched, unused towels is the version of the man who owns that pristine, unopened, only to be touched with white gloved hands ‘man toy’ that he knows is not worth anything, but you can’t touch it, just in case any day now, it will be worth millions. Just saying!! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. be thankful you aren’t paired with someone who would adjust and fidget with the upper towel until it’s pattern matched in placement with the towel beneath. for heaven-help if there be any break in the continuity – why else would one use patterned towels in the first place?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. This explains a good deal. I put my biggest, softest, fluffiest towels out for my male guest when he came to stay…and realised he had been using mine instead. I get it now… he thought they were untouchable.🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. You are talking like a museum tour guide…😂.. wait… in that case how come photography is allowed….

    I have come across such towels in my cousin’s house… Only come across… not touch…😉 Disaster averted…

    Liked by 2 people

  5. As a guest I have used these towels at various friends homes and they are almost always made of a material that repels water and refuses to dry your hands. They literally have a purely decorative use. LoL!
    Ladies are weird.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I lived in a home with all males. Even the darned dogs were male. And (except for the dogs) they’d check if a towel was to be used by the common rabble (them) or was reserved for people I like (guests). My daughters-in-law thank me.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I would totally use that to dry off after a shower and I suppose that would be my last shower EVER! Lol… “Don’t touch it!” Haha that was funny.

    I’m a woman and don’t have decorative towels. Towels are made for using, just as beers are made for drinking. But I’m sure I have some things around here my partner doesn’t understand. I’ll have to ask him.

    Looking forward to more forbidden to use decorative items.

    Liked by 2 people

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