The Rant I Promised You

Disclaimer: Language & Opinion

They say to never write in anger. They say “professional bloggers” leave passion at home. Well if anything this proves I am not a professional blogger and will probably never be a professional writer. I am writing this while angry.

This morning I shared this link about a South Korean that was adopted as a child, abandoned again, separated from his sister, and then was incarcerated as an illegal immigrant once he applied for a green card. I then made the mistake we as social media users should know not to make. I read the fucking comments in the yahoo article and my blood pressure soared to heights unknown. If there had been an app available for me to punch people through the internet in the balls I would have downloaded that shit immediately. Fuck humans can be stupid.

This comment really got me.


What this fucktard doesn’t know is that there is no way for this adoptee to have stolen that Korean bible. That bible was fucking his! That is the only possession we have when we get off the fucking plane into this foreign world we never asked to be a part of. It is the only thing I had as well and I still have my bible as a reminder of the country that shipped me off and didn’t want me. I have mine as a reminder of my rejection.

The problem with social media and media in general is everyone gets a voice. Now I know that is ironic and perhaps even hypocritical coming from me considering what I do for a hobby. Today, today I don’t give a flying fuck if that makes me a hypocrite to say that. Today I don’t give any fucks what you think.

When you make comments on articles, facebook posts, or whatever media you read people do see your words. We read them with the article, before the article, or after it. Your ignorance is never hidden and is never only seen by the people you want it to be seen by. We see your stupid virtual mouth opening and the even dumber words pouring from it.

So people can’t understand how this guy doesn’t speak Korean? So people can’t understand what the big deal is about him being sent back to Korea, a country he never knew? I’ll explain for those people even though none of them will read this blog.

I am thirty-five years old and I was adopted at the age of 3. I was separated from my birth sister in the orphanage and I have since that time never met her again. I stay awake many nights imagining what she might look like. I sometimes cry myself to sleep wondering if she even remembers me. I remember her in the only language I know, English, and I understand that Korea is my birth country. But Korea will never be my home. It will never be my country.

It is so simple right? He is Korean originally… so send him back! What harm is there? Let me give you all a little insight. It is a big fucking deal! For adoptees… Korea hates us. For adoptees… Korea will never be for us. I have known Koreans through my life and have been to a Korea a couple times since my adoption. Each time I went I traveled there as a visitor and a tourist. Every time I have met a Korean and let them know I was adopted I have felt their discomfort. You see we are marks of shame. We are walking, talking bodies that never should have been. For what greater tragedy is there than a walking failure before your eyes? That is what we are to Korea. That is why it is so hurtful when we are rejected by the only country we know and people tell us to “go home.” We are home.

Asians have a hard time in America. We are never given much credit, we are expected to perform at certain levels, and we are never considered for our feelings. The stoic, stereotypical image of your Asian man is the same image most people have in their minds. That is due to television, that is due to our culture, that is due to how we are made and interact. But that isn’t who we are. We are people and we hurt as well. It hurts us when people assume we can get over things so easily… like being sent back home after our long “field trip” to America.

I won’t look at the comments anymore on this article. So much ignorance, so many keyboard warriors, online experts, and not enough time for me to bash every single one I hate. Make no mistake, I hate some of these comments and the people that left them. Whether from ignorance, obliviousness, or whatever their reason… their words warranted a response and my response today is hate. This article and situation has me very angry.

I cannot imagine how much this guy has gone through. Children of abandonment never fully heal and they never “move on.” No matter how many times people tell us to get over it, still we know deep down what we are. We are the forgotten and the unwanted. We were never meant to be in most cases. And yet still someone above decided we deserved a chance, decided we deserved a day of light. So we live each day knowing we are on borrowed time. I can’t imagine what I would do if I were suddenly told that I had to move back to Korea. I would probably kill myself.

For those people saying “well he is a criminal that stole a car” please take that garbage elsewhere! If we deported criminals in this country we would be deporting thousands of people daily… and we aren’t! This man has also been held in a holding cell for 9 months away from his wife and kids and that is due to being “illegal” and has nothing to do with stealing cars. It doesn’t even say when he stole the car! I am not making excuses for breaking the law, but for fucks sake people read a little into the story before passing judgement.

This situation totally breaks from the normal debate I have on adoption and what people deserve a second chance. Yes, believe it or not there are constant debates on this between people that hate adoption and those that are for it. Between adoptees rejected AND abandoned by their birth parents, like this man and like me, and those birth mothers that feel they were tricked into the process. There are even wars between adoptees and foster care children on who deserves to be helped first. The reason this story is so different is because you have a man that was both an adoptee and in the foster care program. That makes him only one thing really – Unwanted. That is the harsh reality of it all and why those children of abandonment shouldn’t fight one another. We are all the same and we all want the same thing. To finally be wanted and accepted.

America should do something about this case and any case like it. It isn’t enough to change the law for people adopted after the year 2000. If you are adopted as a child and had no control over being sent here, you are a citizen of this nation in my book. You deserve to be here and you now have no other home.

What is happening to this man is wrong. I am still angry about this, but my anger has turned into sadness. This could have easily been me.

Jason Chandler Cushman

Ahn Soo Jin

-Opinionated Man



My birth sister below.



115 thoughts on “The Rant I Promised You

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  2. Pingback: Sharing:  The Rant I Promised You – My Journey Through Life

  3. I can completely understand about reading these articles and then go and read the comments. There have been so many times where I have been so angry because of the idiocy that these people say. They assume they know what they are talking about and 99% of the time they have never been anywhere further then their own backyard. It irks me to the point where I have stopped reading the. The ignorance astounds me sometimes. I feel for this man so much. He should never have had to go through this.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Reblogged this on A Momma's View and commented:

    There are posts out there never making it to my Picks Of The Week list. Simply because it can’t wait. I can’t wait sharing them. This one is one of them. Please read if you have not done so yet. It’s a powerful and emotional post that sheds light on many issues that are left in the dark…

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Jason, I couldn’t agree more with you and I feel so very sorry for this man. As you said he was unwanted by his birth mother and his country and then by the foster parents and so on. Now he is unwanted by the country and some brainless, stupid people who think they know it all. I also know what you mean by making the mistake and reading comments. It’s mind blowing what kind of shitty attitude gets shared in comments and I often think if their brain is truly not working or if they simply forgot to switch it on. Sad story, the one you shared. Your words are powerful and yet I can see your emotions come through. Thanks for voicing it! Thanks for standing up for him!

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Dear Jason, and i thought once adopted, that legal action couldn’t be undone. Silly me ;/ Anyway, the man was horridly wronged. And frankly, if women learned to man-up a bit (be responsible) there wouldn’t be so many children born to self-centered excuses-for-parents.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. “The problem with social media and media in general is everyone gets a voice.” That’s the truth. The problems with giving everyone a voice are that 1) idiots don’t know they really should shut up and 2) intelligent voices are often shouted over and told to shut up by those who are “offended” by an intelligent differing opinion. I’m sorry this kind of bitterness, sadness and shame became your life’s story. You are making something good with it, which makes me happy for you, and happier still to call you a friend.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. You find that app to kick asses in the front of their ass and I’m right there with you Jason. Better yet, invent it and I’ll come along for the ride to make money. Stop listening to what “they” say and listen to yourself…..or better yet…..just listen to me. (Even when I don’t, I’z knowz from wherez I speak)

    I do think (at times) you can be a little bit and I emphasize the word smallish bit over reactive about adoption and loss of culture and loss of loves unknown and loss of a lot of other “stuff”…..BUT this stuff of which you speak right now, is just shit and you can be unbiased when you decide to run for office. Yah Right? If a professional politician can’t stop their own bias….who are “professional” bloggers to even try.

    You’re not writing for a news agency, you’re expressing your PERSONAL opinions…You go boy!

    You have every right to be angry and you haven’t even started on cruel yet…so chill and know you’re correct.

    THUS Spake me! (~~dru~~)

    Liked by 1 person

  9. There are no words to express the sadness of this story and your reflection. I don’t blame you for your anger. I hope that you do not let this anger consume you in a way that continues to hurt you. So many people just don’t understand what it is like to live in another’s shoes. I am sorry for your pain.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Reblogged this on and commented:

    I am reblogging this because it needs to be shared. Yes, there is foul language, and rage; however, in this case, they serve to get the message across. This post is eloquent in its raw truth and honesty. It shows why Jason’s blog is called “Harsh Reality” and he is justified in being an “Opinionated Man”. Comments are closed here, please go to the original post.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Jason, you have every right to rant and I am so glad you did. People who speak out through their own ignorance really make me angry.

    Many years ago a church pastor and his wife (who had 3 kids) adopted a 12 year old boy from Russia. They changed his name to a more “North American” sounding one, put him in a normal school without extra tutoring in English even though he was forced to speak it “because no one knows Russian here”. They were offered help from the Russian community to have someone work with him one on one but refused it. The boy started acting out by picking fights, setting fire to the family home and stealing a car (at 13 years old). So, they did “the only thing they could do” – they put him up for adoption again to another Canadian non-Russian family, taking no responsibility themselves. I actually got to really like the boy and I think he liked me too.

    Keep ranting….you have a lot of us behind you.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. rant on Jason, you express yourself beautifully and are bang on as usual. Talk about a travesty, his situation (and yours too) make me sad and very angry. Let us know if we can help you get your message across.

    Liked by 3 people

  13. This is Maggie’s human mom, Liz. OM, I agree so much. I too was unwanted and given away…when I was 2 days old. One of these days I’m going to blog about the household I was adopted into, but it’s not time yet.

    I have to say I agree with you and Nic, especially about how Asians are treated and expected to behave. I remember going to a work seminar for an Asian Crime Task Force. And the speaker said, “How do you know an Asian gang has broken into your house? Your electronics are all gone, but your kid’s Math homework is done.” Uncomfortable laughter at an old joke. Then he said, “This is what people think about Asians and they do not know the truth.” A very thoughtful and insightful evening followed. The racism in America is, imho, at an all-time high with our crazy presidential election going on. We really, as a whole, need to set aside our preconceived notions, recognize that different is good, and embrace the individual. America has always been a melting pot. Rant on, OM, rant on. (PS I feel especially bad that this man has been detained for 9 months away from his family. I thought we had laws about cruel and unusual punishment….) Liz

    Liked by 5 people

  14. Reblogged this on Lucky Otters Haven and commented:

    This needs to be reblogged because it’s so passionate and made ME angry too. Yes, there is a lot of “salty” language in his post, but I think it’s justified after what he saw today and makes it so clear why OM has EVERY RIGHT IN THE WORLD to be as angry as he is.

    Liked by 3 people

  15. Well said, you got your anger across—and hell, I can feel it. Same shit is coursing through me right now. As an Asian, that whole “we are expected to perform at certain levels and are never considered for our feelings” rings all too true. FUCK THAT. If people actually think life is easy for Asians here, then they need a goddamn reality check. There is far too much racism in the world—America is no goddamn exception.

    And you know what really had me angry about that dumbass article that so many mentally lacking commenters seem to just disregard? THE MAN WAS ABUSED. COME ON. Physically, verbally, sexually. WHO DOESN’T THAT MESS UP? EVEN A LITTLE BIT? And they have the nerve to word it in such a way as if it’s his fault he’s being unproductive. Sure, he is partly at fault. People fall and rise and get their shit together after being psychologically scarred—I will concede to that—but not entirely. Never entirely. There’s always one too many factors, and what does our justice system have to say about it all? After fucking up this guy’s life? After bringing him here and doing this and that to him… “Oh, let’s send him back. Y’know… he’ll easily pick up the language. He belongs there. Its not like culture shock or anything’s an actual thing.”

    FUCK NO.

    He was adopted by US citizens at the tender age of—what—3? By law, he was eligible to become a US citizen through naturalization, and why isn’t that possible now? Why, after all the grief he’s lived through, would the US government decide to deport him? Abandon him like his own country did when they sent him away—and from what you’ve said, won’t even welcome him back? WHAT A STUPID DECISION. WERE THEY HIGH?

    God. That article makes me want to punch kittens.

    … Alright. My own rant is over. Damn. I needed this. And now all I feel is sorry for him… and all the others that this might happen to in the future.

    Liked by 5 people

  16. Pingback: The Rant I Promised You — HarsH ReaLiTy | Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

  17. I can begin to fathom the depth of your feelings, but I can agree with the utter fury at cruel people and unfair-no UNJUST-ways our legal system works. It’s not even remotely the same, don’t get me wrong here, but you make a REALLY good point about ACTUAL criminals versus… well, This…and a whole lot of other situations where people are not even close to criminal. I almost want to stop typing, I’m making no sense…

    Liked by 3 people

  18. Ignorance is one of humanity’s worst plagues… Unfortunately, social medias give an open tribune to people who don’t deserve to be heard.

    Thank you for sharing your painful story. It might be written out of hate today, but it would probably hurt you even more if you kept the boiling feelings to yourself… Sending warm thoughts your way… xx

    Liked by 4 people

  19. The issues of citizenship, resident status, and illegal aliens are all hot topics, full of emotion, anger and unfairness too many times. No matter what the government does about it, there will be people who are disenfranchised, and that is a sorrowful shame. For all those who stand in lines, fill out the paperwork, pay the fees and answer the questions, only to be repeatedly told no, I am ashamed of this country that allows those who break the law and sneak in to stay, when others who are doing it the right way are denied. Over and over. This case you speak of is so sad, and so wrong. Adoptees are not coming here of their own choice, but brought here as defenseless children. Changing one’s mind after the fact isn’t in any way fair to a child and should not be an option, for Pete’s sake!

    Liked by 3 people

  20. So, let me get this right:

    We (Americans) fucked up his life
    Our solution…send him back to a country, language, and culture he has no knowledge of

    Yeah, that sounds like the American government I know. Yet we set up sanctuary cities for people who broke into the country and intentionally committed real crimes like rape and murder.

    Liked by 3 people

  21. Rant away, that article infuriated me and I’m glad someone is addressing it. Would we deport an American citizen because they once committed a crime? If not, then why deport someone who came here at the age of three? Who did not even willfully immigrate here? This man is an American. You can’t just plop someone down in their country of origin and expect them to pick up where they left off when they are unfamiliar with the language and the culture.

    Liked by 3 people

  22. Jason, I posted this comment to another blog because I thought I was on yours:

    The haters are out in force and feel empowered. It’s not just the man you spoke of, it’s anyone who disagrees. They want you to feel angry and hurt because that’s how they feel. They’ve poured their rage into your psyche. It is an offensive form of psychological abuse and the primary tool of the pathological narcissist and his enablers. These racists are not part of a political movement. They are part of a sickness. Try to turn the anger into insight, which I see you’ve done.

    How sad is it that there are people in our country who need racism to feel good about themselves?

    Liked by 7 people

  23. Heartbreaking and infuriating, I can only hope that the awareness you and others are giving his story help to keep him from being swept under the rug. A humane judge would help also. How do they think he can possibly get a job or survive over there. This is one of the reasons so many people who are “illegal” but actually spent their whole lives here (USA) are terrified to try and get a green card. The minute you poke your head up, the government knocks it off.

    Liked by 3 people

  24. Excellent and well deserved rant, Jason. The amount of ignorance and lack of empathy in some people astounds me beyond belief. To send this man to South Korea is inhumane and is an embarrassment to our country. I don’t know how the law works, but I hope a way is found to allow this man to stay home.

    Liked by 4 people

  25. I agree that the law needs to be changed. Adopted children from other nations should receive citizenship as part of the adoption process. This poor man was rejected, and rejected and is now being rejected by his country. It’s a complete travesty of justice.

    Liked by 6 people

  26. I’m sorry, Jason. Rant on, I think you do it beautifully.

    The comment section on many articles can be just astounding, like kill it with fire kind of astounding, like why have we continued as a species if we’re going to be this pathetic?

    Don’t let the turkeys get you down. Thanksgiving is right around the corner and than well just serve them with gravy.:-)

    Liked by 4 people

  27. This is deep. I can really feel your anger and sadness. I’m really sorry for what you have been through; I can’t even imagine. Who knows? Maybe one day you guys might meet coincidentally. There’s no way you guys can make up for lost times but as long as there’s life, there’s hope. Cheer up! I wish you the very best!

    Liked by 2 people

  28. I have no words, Jason. There are so many dumb people in this world, most of them hiding behind a keyboard and computer screen, spouting their ignorance on a daily basis. What’s happening to that man is wrong. What happened to you is wrong, but I’m glad you’re here, glad you continue to tell your story.

    Liked by 6 people

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