An Opinionated Man talking about weight. Brace yourself. This could get stormy quick!
I have often been told how lucky I am to be so skinny. People blame my genetics, my culture, the diet they don’t know about, or the particular god I pray to for giving me such a body. What they don’t know and could never know is that I am skinny on the outside only. I look healthy on the outside and that hides the horrible body within. If my insides were my outsides no one would complement me. No one would look my way.
We judge people like fallen books and we look at them as they lie. From a not so distant glance I probably look great. From the other side of the street people might even think I work out. They would be wrong. I am not great on the inside or the out and I don’t work out. I get tired from doing laps in my mind and that is why I am thirty-five going on ninety-nine.
Those of us with hidden illnesses know well the struggle of trying to explain what can’t be seen. Even though I don’t cough all day or pop pills in the sunlight, still I have my struggles. Still I struggle within. I smile and nod at people that say “I look great.” You look great too! I take the words for what they are worth and most days they aren’t worth much to me. I don’t feel pretty or beautiful on a quiet night. I simply allow myself to appreciate breathing and I breath.
Remember some of us are skinny on the outside. Some of us may look perfect.
I hope you know that no one in this world is perfect. We all struggle with something and some of us are simply lucky enough to be skinny on the outside.
Jason Chandler Cushman