Children of abandonment spend much of their life trying to figure out who they are by piecing together what matters. What truly matters in discovering who we are is different according to the person. It also depends on what has happened to that abandoned child and where they are in life.
Abandoned children have many names, but we are all abandoned. Some groups will try to argue over who is more worthy of sympathy or what “group” needs help the most. I hate these arguments because they are a disservice to all the children. One thing many people need to keep in mind when spreading their opinions to people uninvited is that certain topics may not be as well received if the individual hasn’t experienced them. Working with abandoned children does not make you an expert on abandonment. It doesn’t even really make you the “know all” on any group of children in those classifications. All that really means is that you have some knowledge on THOSE KIDS and you should keep your focus on them.
I can’t count how many “online experts” have tried to school me on adoption or the need for homes for foster children. I have had countless people claim to be a doctor or a therapist, because we are all doctors online didn’t you know, and that their studies or work has made them THE EXPERT on the topic.
Let me make one thing very clear.
You cannot be an “expert” on abandonment. That is like me saying I am an Expert on Love and you can all start referring to me as the Love Doctor. That actually would be pretty cool and my relationship articles do indeed prove my expertise.
I love how many people in this world claim to be an expert on ME. It amuses me how many people take their singular situation, write a book about it, and claim that their story is THE STORY for ALL abandoned children. That is a lie. That is also how you write a best seller…
My name is Jason Chandler Cushman, but I was born to the name Ahn Soo Jin. I am told my birthday was pinned to my shirt by my lovely birth mother, how considerate of her, before she left my 2 year old Korean ass on a street. I don’t even really know if it IS my birthday and I rely on information from other people, from files, to know who I am. I learn myself each day and I face my abandonment issues each night. I learn myself because I am myself and my story is my life.
You allow your story to be your life.
Stop trying to write mine.