Giving up hate

People often talk about giving up your hate. They make it sound so easy because for them it is easy. For others it is impossible. Our hatred keeps us warm and lets us know we are still alive, even though we have died a little inside. We died and then came back to life by the burn of life. That is living to me. That is all I know.

You give up your hate if it gives you joy. I will hold onto mine like an umbrella in the night. A shield against those falling objects they call stars and those dreams that seem so far… away.

I raise my umbrella to the world and carry my hatred underneath it. Sheltering my pain from the happiness of the world, do not bring your joy inside of here. Keep your laughter while I hold my pain. My anger, my rage, and my hatred. Let me be warm just once and finally know the glow of acceptance. The kind of acceptance you receive when you accept yourself.

Giving up hate would be giving up a piece of me. I can do it, but I would be less from it. What I must decide is if you deserve that much of me. Do I owe you that much space in my heart to allow you to own my hate.

I don’t know the answer to that. I just know what I feel. I feel hatred still and I feel anger as I write our story. I want to finish our story so I never have to write about you again. So I can bury you at last.


15 thoughts on “Giving up hate

  1. Maybe you can let go of the hate after you finish the story? It will possibly always be there, but it doesn’t have to be an active part of you… a part that consumes any part of you, that you can control. ❤


  2. That’s where you’re at on some things, and you know it. I also see from your writings a lot of love for your family and other people and situations in your life. It’s common pop psychology these days to treat “negativity” like a crime, saying “oh you shouldn’t hate, you shouldn’t feel angry, etc.” but in a weird way, trying to deny or forbid these emotions is fixating on them, ironically.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hi Jason, I think you need to learn to let go. Let go of your anger, pent-up emotions, resentment and frustration. By letting go of the hatred that you harbour for someone, you are gifting yourself the greatest treasures on Earth: FREEDOM and PEACE. They don’t matter to you. So why must you hurt yourself because of them? Detach, my dear. Forgive and focus on loving yourself. Life is too short to dwell on negativity.

    Best wishes to you X

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I think that’s a healthy outlook to have. Sure, it’s good to forgive and forget, move on and all, but personally I don’t like giving up on my hate too easy too. If someone’s earned it, then they damned well deserve it, and you should be allowed to hate people and things that deserve it. Sometimes, though Just sometimes.

    Liked by 1 person

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