Birth Mom

I have hated you for so long your name has become hate. I have blamed you for everything, even the things that haven’t happened yet. You thought your burden was done when you set me on the ground at two.

Never.

I add to your mental burden willingly and if I could do it faster I would. If I could allow you to hear me scream I would.

People tell me to empathize and that you deserve sympathy.

You will never get that from me.

You are just a name.

You were just a birth mom.

Jason Chandler Cushman

Ahn Soo Jin

-Opinionated Man

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17 thoughts on “Birth Mom

  1. You handle it any way that helps you. No psychological technique works for everyone, just because some people benefit from forgiveness doesn’t mean everyone needs to. And calling you out on it is creepy. Some psychology schools are eerily like religious cults. Ignore nitwits (including me if you want).❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jason, please get counseling you cannot continue like this, hate is a cancer. I hope one day you reach to a point where you are thankful that you were adopted into a family and now you have a family please allow love to replace hate…..I hope one day you will forgive your mom and dad, I don’t think your mom should take all the blame…. I don’t know her but I think your dad had something to do in this situation…. may God bless you and give you peace…. hugs brother💙

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Well there is kind of something wrong with you Jason, you need to lighted up a bit. I can understand your being mad, sad, upset, and feeling abandoned by your mother AND I WOULD NEVER, let it go completely but I can see this screws you up some and you’ve got your own kids now. Besides, your tummy will feel better when you lighten up. She who pokes her nose where it is not wanted or needed or appreciated BUT who still loves to do that. ~~dru~~

    Liked by 3 people

      • So true Jason BUT:

        if you measure the “wrongish” against the “goodish”‘ your polishedness, your creativeness, professionalism, and your sheer stamina (it must take you hours to get through all your comments, read others’ stuff and create all those daily posts yourself and work on your books…..well guess which side wins?
        ps, you iz a realz good lookingz kinda of a guy too. Such sez my catz.

        Your almost grandmother…….
        ~~dru~~

        Liked by 1 person

  4. It sounds that there’s still a long way to go for you to let go of the hatred over the abandonment by your birthright, but, you will have to learn to live with the fact that can’t be changed, and until you can leave the past in the past, you will never be free from the past that’s kept you bound for so long…

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I don’t know what it’s like to be adopted, but I do know what it’s like to give birth.

    I was never the kind of woman that got weak-kneed around babies, or dreamt about motherhood. I even wondered if there was something wrong with me. When I found out I was pregnant, I was more scared than excited.

    But the first time I looked into my baby daughter’s eyes, I was so desperate to hold her. When they put her on my chest, I started sobbing uncontrollably. Because I loved her so much, I didn’t know what to do with all those feelings. I kept her in bed with me for three whole days and yelled at anyone who wanted to stick her in an incubator.

    It’s the most primal bond there is. I felt it immediately, even though I was never the mothering type. I don’t understand it when people don’t.

    So, I don’t know what your mom’s situation was and whether she felt she was doing the best thing for you, but I understand your anger. Of course you’re angry. That’s a wound that never heals.

    Just know it isn’t about you. There’s nothing wrong with you.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. I wonder if some parents forget that their little children are people in the making, who will have to live with the damage they’ve been given so early on. You’ve done well for yourself, my friend, but don’t let anyone tell you you don’t deserve to be angry.

    Liked by 1 person

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