Disclaimer: Language (if you couldn’t figure that out from the title I got nothing for you…)
Sometimes even I do things that are just dumb as shit…
Last week I was working on my mental checklist and decided to clean out our closet that the wife and I share. The kids were at school and my wife was working in the office so I put the alarm on and went upstairs to tackle the mess below our hangers. As I normally do while working alone, I turned on youtube on my phone and set the volume to full blast. It helps me groove to have music going and I get lost in whatever task I am doing. Before long I had everything cleared out and was neatly organizing my wife’s shoes on the new shoe organizers I had brought up. I had some boxes set aside for storage in the guest closet and the pile of junk began to steadily grow.
I grabbed a few boxes and some random items of clutter as I walked out of the closet, through our bathroom, and into the guest room nearby. After dropping the stuff into the waiting Tupperware bins, I turned around for a second load. I walked into our room and made my way back into the bathroom. As I was about to step into the closet I heard the strangest noise. It was the sound an old closet makes in horror movies when it is slowly being opened and it lets out a screech of protest right before the Asian guy dies. I immediately froze.
“Hello…” I called out.
“Who the FUCK is there?” I said as I started to get worried. My heart began to beat me to death as I suddenly went into protective mode. I quickly ran into the toilet area of our bathroom because there was an extra door. I stood there for a second peaking around the corner waiting for the horror that was sure to come. After a couple seconds I quickly darted around the corner back into the closet and reached up onto my shelf for the weapons I have hidden there.
“Motherfucker!” I muttered in disgust as I realized I only had my baby pocketknife upstairs at the moment… the one fucking moment I needed protection. “You have to be fucking kidding me!” I continued to rant quietly to myself as I opened the pocket knife up.
I crouched into my ready stance and began to prepare myself for the combo move I would do. Just when I thought I would go crazy from the anxiety I heard another sound…
“HELLO… it’s me…”
It had been a song all along. I felt so stupid. I didn’t tell my wife about it till last night.