A Few Reasons People Might Hate You

1 – You are the model one upper. No one likes a one upper, the guy that always has to have a story just a little crazier and more interesting than the one you just spent ten minutes telling. And the masters of it take this annoyance to a whole new level by not only verbally one upping you, but they’ll physically do it as well! “Holy shit! Jason got the new PS4… WOWWWWWW!!!! Jim got a PS4000! I didn’t even know that shit existed! Everyone be Jim’s friend!!!” Jesus Jim. Can I get a minute here?

2 – If you are a dog owner and you let your dog run wild, no one likes you. I know for a fact from watching the Animal Channel that there are individuals that have complete control over their pets and I have no issue with their animals running around because they take the “wild” out of the equation. Those people probably make their dogs pick up their own shit. Most of you don’t have that sort of control and when Fluffy runs up on our children we don’t care that Fluffy never hurt a fly. I don’t know any flies… how can I confirm that? I’m supposed to believe you because you own a beast that probably shouldn’t be a pet? Let me think on that… over here… away from you and giant Fluffy…

3 – You are the victim of everything. No other explanation should be needed here. We all know this type of person.

4 – You are a Patriots fan. Because I hate you. Go Broncos.

5 – You go under your desk and pull out the cable cord during a StarCraft match so that you don’t get the loss and your record just shows a d/c when in fact we know what you did because we were online and we know you have a perfect connection ~!BadAzzAzN130!~ you hacking piece of shit noob!!!! …

6 – I don’t know what happened on that last one. I think I had a flashback.

7 – You create a product that says one thing and then it does another. It says “Will Kill All Wasps and Bees Instantly.” Tell that to those angry faces out the window waiting for my stupid Asian ass that sprayed them. They said it tickled.

8 – You speed up to get around me and then you slow down for no reason just to be a dick. Again, I personally hate you.

9 – You spend 5 minutes looking at the menu at McDonalds and then spend another 2 minutes asking questions about your order. IT IS MCDONALDS! THE MENU DOESN’T CHANGE! MOVE YOUR ASS! MOVE YOUR ASS!

10 – I get angry when I am hungry.

11 – You write a list that was supposed to be informative and instead you made it personal. Good job man.




60 thoughts on “A Few Reasons People Might Hate You

      • that and I might do everything on this list just to piss people off. or not. let’s see: 1) I do everything just a half an ounce better than anyone, see? 2) I don’t have a dog because see #3). 4 I) could give half a rat’s ass about football, but I’ll be on your side whatever that is, I’m certain that’s annoying because I should just pick a side 5) I know a good therapist but he’s playing some video game and can’t be disturbed right now. 6) WTH? Maybe you need drug rehab and not therapy? 7) get out there and face the music. They want to play you a deathmetal jam, and their band is called Wingsting. If you claim that name you have to pay me royalties. 8) Where the fuck is my dash-mounted laser cannon? That’s the guy I’m following. He’s a complete ass. 9) have you check for a pulse? maybe he’s dead and the WOOO! you hear as he gazes glassy eyed at the menu is air escaping from his folds of fat (if you failed to grasp this rich cultural reference, clearly you need to watch more Futurama on Netflix.) 10) you can have my Bud Light, but you can’t have my Twix bar. It wouldn’t help anyway, it’s not a Snickers. 11) see #5, or maybe 7. 12) Sorrynotsorry, I did it all just to piss someone off, without really caring who it was. Whom? Who?

        Fun list, Jason. But seriously, stay inside until the Wingsting band wraps it up for the night. And GET ME A DAMN LASER CANNON!!!

        Liked by 1 person

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