We have all been in these situations and judging from my previous post on hugging I can see the world could use some of my advice on what to do if someone tries to hug you! It is true, it happens and it needs to stop. The spreading of germs and unwanted affection is prevalent in today’s society and the forcing of physical interaction back is appalling. Here is what I do in these situations.
My immediate reaction, as I told one commenter today, to being unexpectedly hugged is to put my left arm in front of my chest for protection while stepping back into my attacker. I then ninja flip them and follow up with a one, two spider kick. Now I realize not everyone has been to the Super Hero Academy in Huntsville, Alabama. That’s ok because not everyone is cut out for that life, but anyone can do a spider kick.
If I face a frontal attack from an incredibly eager hugger I will sometimes shout out “Mommy I didn’t do it! I didn’t do it Mommy!” The reactions vary… but generally they pretend like they were rushing to hug someone else and they never speak to me again…
Sometimes co-workers (women) will attack you as a group and will try to “group hug” you. Obviously you don’t want to turn them in to the proper authorities, snitches never last long in prison, and a combo move isn’t appropriate either. I suggest farting if you don’t care for anymore future human interaction. Ever again. But at least it will work right?
I have found that eating certain foods helps to keep people away so I make a special lunch each day. Nothing says “don’t hug me” like a garlic, kimchi, curry, fish, and egg sandwich.
If things get drastic and you are continuously ambushed by the same person at work or family gatherings you can always wear a neck brace. I would point at it a lot too… a story might help.
Lastly there are certain situations where it is almost impossible to get out of hugs. Like at church or when relatives show up. Where there is a will there is a way, and where there is a child there is a shield. This is called the deflective method. “Oh Aunt Helga! … have you seen little Johnny lately?!?”