Truth 1 – Eating out is not a right. Eating out is a privilege that is directly related to if you have money to eat out or not. If you eat out in America at a restaurant you should tip. If you don’t tip and you have a server waiting on you slap yourself. You are a huge wanker.
Truth 2 – You can dress your dog up and give it the cutest name in the world. You can even carry that dog in your purse and call it a furbaby. It is still a dog.
Truth 3 – I will never understand an individual that supports abortion, but becomes heartbroken over the death of animals.
Truth 4 – I have found out the name of the ultimate identity thief in this world. It is the tooth fairy.
Truth 5 – Anyone that hogs a term for their own use is simply setting themselves up for pain when I use that term in a totally inappropriate way. It isn’t a matter of “if.” It is a matter of when.
Truth 6 – The next person that rings my doorbell and asks to speak “to my father the owner of the house” will find out just how much Korean I do know.
Truth 7 – Being forced to watch The Real Housewives of Anywhere is like taking an STD test with a Q tip. It is painful, it never ends, and it makes you rethink your life values.
Truth 8 – Bars without a Happy Hour make me Unhappy. They should be banned.
Truth 9 – We should have created a large glass parking lot in North Korea a long time ago.
Truth 10 – If I still owned that lightsaber from when I was a kid it would be worth a ton of money now. It even went Vrrrrmmmm! … Vrrrrmmmm!
Truth 11 – I could write these all day.