11 Honest Truths

Truth 1 – Eating out is not a right. Eating out is a privilege that is directly related to if you have money to eat out or not. If you eat out in America at a restaurant you should tip. If you don’t tip and you have a server waiting on you slap yourself. You are a huge wanker.

Truth 2 – You can dress your dog up and give it the cutest name in the world. You can even carry that dog in your purse and call it a furbaby. It is still a dog.

Truth 3 – I will never understand an individual that supports abortion, but becomes heartbroken over the death of animals.

Truth 4 – I have found out the name of the ultimate identity thief in this world. It is the tooth fairy.

Truth 5 – Anyone that hogs a term for their own use is simply setting themselves up for pain when I use that term in a totally inappropriate way. It isn’t a matter of “if.” It is a matter of when.

Truth 6 – The next person that rings my doorbell and asks to speak “to my father the owner of the house” will find out just how much Korean I do know.

Truth 7 – Being forced to watch The Real Housewives of Anywhere is like taking an STD test with a Q tip. It is painful, it never ends, and it makes you rethink your life values.

Truth 8 – Bars without a Happy Hour make me Unhappy. They should be banned.

Truth 9 – We should have created a large glass parking lot in North Korea a long time ago.

Truth 10 – If I still owned that lightsaber from when I was a kid it would be worth a ton of money now. It even went Vrrrrmmmm! … Vrrrrmmmm!

Truth 11 – I could write these all day.

-OM

79 thoughts on “11 Honest Truths

  1. I Love the list. Six made me chuckle and 10 makes me think it’s time to invent a workable time machine. Just imagine it! Go back in time and get that lightsaber then you might have a chance against your daughter the zombie slayer🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i absolutely liked the first three you listed. Those are beyond truth. Also, I take it you seen the new Star Wars? I loved it! You should have kept it, I myself want a lightsaber >.<

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Very good OM. Let me just add to your point about tipping. In the 29 years I have lived in the UK and have visited the States with three different British women. My ex wife, ex girl friend and current wife (not at the same time.) However, when I took them out to eat, they were all so impressed with the service they insisted I give the waiter/waitress a decent tip, which I did. There is something good about the tipping culture.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Your # 6 cracked me up. I have a “young” voice, and use it to my advantage on those unsolicited phone calls. ☺ I like to engage them in childish conversation, just to see how long I can go with it. They never call back.

    p.s. Be happy for looking like one of the kids of the house…someday you will appreciate it !

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Jason I hope you and your three girls had a wonderful Christmas! Now I think you are maligning the tooth fairy. And with number 9 I am afraid you need to explain the relevance of a glass car park. I am not being rude(probably stupid) but I don’t get it. Happy New Year… Remember if I don’t comment or like I am still reading🙂😉 xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I like this, except for “I don’t understand how someone can support abortion, but be upset over animals”.
    I’m pro-choice. That doesn’t mean I’d have an abortion myself. In fact, I think the circumstances would have to be extreme for me to have an abortion – like maybe I’d die if I didn’t have an abortion or something really, really extreme – but I don’t believe in taking the right away from someone else. There’s plenty of situations I’ve never been in – like carrying my rapist’s baby, for example – and therefore i can’t judge why a woman may want an abortion. Some women may want to keep the baby regardless. Some women want to have the baby, and give it up for adoption (although that’s rather difficult here in Australia – it’s really not as easy as that). And some women can’t possibly handle the thought of carrying a rapist’s baby – it reminds them of their traumatic experience over and over again. Obviously, there are other reasons, but I’m just pointing out I’m pro-choice not because I’d be likely to have an abortion myself, but because I understand that others may need to or want to in their lifetime.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Advocating for something so horrible by referencing the least common reason abortion is used isn’t really a factor to me. I agree there are instances where abortion may be an option, but that won’t ever make me say it is a “good option.” And it is forever and will always be an evil act.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. #10 – If I only still had my Tonka trucks and my Hot Wheels. I had the original Tonka trucks that an elephant could stand on. and my How Wheels cars would be worth their weight in gold.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Truth number 7 is one I don’t really understand… Q-tips for blood work? Still it’s been a very long time since I’ve needed to worry about any STD testing so maybe my knowledge is outdated. ;p

    Liked by 1 person

      • Sounds unpleasant. Due to my rather colorful past I made sure I got tested before marriage and then again on a regular basis for 6 years before I got pregnant. It was all very very expensive and the doctor said it was not needed after the first time, but I wanted to be 100% sure. Only swabbing was for the pap smear and it doesn’t hurt. Glad I avoided the painful version.

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