My goal with this blog is to offend everyone in the world at least once with my words… so no one has a reason to have a heightened sense of themselves. We are all ignorant, we are all found wanting, we are all bad people sometimes.
You must fill out the survey to apply to be my friend. Failure to finish the survey will disqualify you.
1 – During an alien invasion who would you save first? Your family or me?
2 – A zombie has bitten me and I need you to cut off my limb before I turn into one. Would you do it? Would you then give me your arm so I can have two again. Obviously I would need the corresponding limb.
3 – Superman has decided to kick my ass for some reason and is looking for me. Would you agree to switch identities… temporarily of course. I can’t imagine you surviving that.
4 – Women are chasing me with knives and bats. Would you fly a helicopter above me and save me?
5 – There is one last donut left. Do you eat it or offer it to me? Do you eat it and pretend it wasn’t there even though I saw it and watched you eat it in front of me…
6 – I break my toe. Would you carry me across mountains, hills, deserts, and a river or two to get me to a hospital and save me?
7 – My Camry has an issue. Can you fix it? It really does have an issue.
8 – If you found Narnia would you leave it to come and get me even if there was a chance you couldn’t return? No? Selfish!
9 – Will you agree to “like” and “smiley” every update I make for the rest of our existence?
Please feel free to leave your responses below or simply let me know you qualify to be my friend. That would be great.
I feel like people keep challenging my well thought out relationship advice and my degree from the Intergalactic Academy of Women so I took a photo of it.
If it looks like it was written in crayon that is due to the pixelation of your computer monitor. I highly suggest getting it replaced and maybe buying Samsung or LG. Support your local Korean. The person writing the degree was having some trouble with their hand so they had someone else finish. That signature at the bottom… well you don’t want to mess with her.
I hope this lays to rest any suspicion over the accuracy and professional relevance of my posts dealing with women and relationships. Thank you for reading.