“Do you know what you’re doing?”
Nope, just avoid this one. There is no tone, inflection, or body language that you can wrap this one in. Simply asking the question is a complete no confidence vote. Standing by with a first aid kit or a fire extinguisher just reinforces the no confidence vote with props for dramatic effect. Smile sweetly and pour praise over him, because the last words he ever hears should not be, “do you know what you’re doing?”
“Does this make me look fat?”
Literally volumes have been written about this question and how to respond to it. There may well be an active 12 step meeting for people recovering from this question. You shouldn’t ask this question for two reasons, first you’re messing with your own mind, and second, his only form of self defense is going to require him to mess with your mind, too. That just creates a mess.
“Can we afford this?”
Now that’s a difficult one, because chances are pretty good you can’t afford it. On the other hand, if you’ve given birth to 3 or four children, you’ve already proven that affordability is not your first priority. Let him buy the paintball gun that glows in the dark.
“Are you ever going to fix that for me?”
As the old bit of facebook wisdom goes, you can take a man at his word. If he says he’ll fix it, he’ll fix it. There is no reason to remind him about it every six months.
If a man really wants to win the husband lottery, just agree to fix everything, the bad weather, her crappy day, the way the moon is shining in through window, coworkers, the sound water makes when it comes through that faucet…
That is what men do, they fix things, like dead hamsters and broken hearts, and assorted other things that can never truly be fixed. It doesn’t matter, it’s the thought that counts. When all else fails, just shoot it with that paint ball gun and tell her it’s glitter. Tell her you painted the ugly fence with beautiful diamonds just for her.
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