Drinking Tears

We drink tears in the morning, to hide the face of shame from those that look to us for guidance. I would never wish upon my children a guide that sees only through the sorrow of a continuous torrent. So I hide those emotions with the coming of the sun and sneer in disdain at the weakness that made me break, if only for a moment.

We drink our tears with coffee, tea, and whatever fills our cup in the morning. The bitterness sweetens stronger than sugar and awakens us faster than pain.

J.C.C.

35 thoughts on “Drinking Tears

  1. I was an inch away from spending $13,000.00 on a gastric sleeve bypass two weeks ago. It took me 6 months to go through the procedure to have the surgery. I wanted to have a beautiful body. But I thought it selfish, in the end to spend on me when I had promised him, so I didnt do it, because i love him more.

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  2. Reblogged this on TheChasian's Blog and commented:
    I think everyone has an internal story which they hide away for the best part of the day. We don’t need to say it but we all know it, and maybe in that way, you can hopefully say, we’re not all alone.

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  3. Jason, this sounds so sad, my friend. I continue to keep you in my prayers. Will make my prayers more specific regarding rest for you and cessation of those dreams.

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    • I gotta say: yeah it sounds sad; it is to someone who is not an alcoholic. What is is though is pathetic. Disgusting. What it is is an expression of comfort; the alcoholic in his alcoholic comfort zone. Expressing the pain dismay anguish as a horrid existence that the alcoholic as the being of alcoholism relishes. Welcoming the sympathy and other reactions as they feed the alcoholic’s mind for what it so surly and so absolutely wants, so the alcoholism will remain. So the anguish of wanting to stop but not being able to stop remains intact. So the alcoholic can ultimately justify getting what the alcoholism wants: another drink.

      After a while of hearing the alcoholic whine and complain but never being willing to consider his or her actual situation, it no longer is just sad, it is annoying. Which isn’t it a coincidence that OM advocates just that: offending people .

      There is no decision to be made for the alcoholic to stop; they simply have to realize that they are doomed. Feeding into the alcoholics want for sympathy, their absolute selfishness, does nothing more than offering him another drink. And ironically again, that’s exactly what he needs; that is until they don’t. Then when offered the alcoholic instead sees the disgust of himself and refuses both sympathy and another drink.

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        • Yeah well: life is not a veil of tears. I had a friend die of active addiction 4 days ago. He got sober for a year, the whole time he thought everything was fine. But nothing changed In him he was just the same but ‘happy cocky sober’. I had a suspicion that he’d start using one day (as they usually do). And he did; hadn’t seen him in like 6 months. Then a friend told me they found him in a parking structure . Seems crass of me to say but: I told him so. God take his soul now. Not everyone gets a chance, but when they do, they gotta realize – not just ‘decide’.

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        • ..it’s a bummer but I’ve known so many. My point is that the selfish rhetoric (look at me! I’m sad because of my addiction, and the, look at me! Look how great I’ve done stopping!) is all too typical – with typical outcomes. Lord knows there were many times I wished I could die — so it’s kind of a demented for me to say he lucked out. But I know he didn’t want to die. So that sux. Now I know it’s not that I wanted to die , just that I didn’t want to go on living That way. Good luck!

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