It hits you from nowhere. An emotional slap, an unneeded reminder of what you wish for. The longing sets in. And as the river of sadness begins it merges with your life blood and rushes to your heart. The heart gasps at the sudden onslaught of feelings, overwhelmed even as it struggles to do the job it was made for. The beats have turned to audible pauses of awareness… as if time is waiting for the next act. Like curdled milk, dormant thoughts create a film across your mind. Some days I find it hard to focus beyond the pain, the burning of figurative daggers send jolts of pain with each movement. I decide not to move. And the world passes me by without a care.
It is sad to live with longing of any sort. There are so many situations worthy of such an emotion, but at any given moment there will still be something greater that should be focused on. It is hard to stick to necessity when the indescribable pulls at the strings of our heart. “Longing” becomes a rogue emotion, ready to ambush you when you are unprepared. That is the funny thing about the human character; we generally don’t know we will miss something until our body lets us know.
I long for things… people, places, perhaps even moments of time. I might redo that which was done, say that which was never said, or ask why something happened the way it did. Pointless moments of time wasted in idle thought, and yet still people want.
Still I yearn.