I don’t view depression as waves, at least not for me. My depression feels like white flakes in a snow globe and are activated when something shakes me to my core. I become the center and the space around me becomes my world, a world I cannot see. While blinded I feel my swinging mood … Continue reading
All bloggers are welcome to use this post as a forum for meeting new bloggers and finding new blogs to visit! Feel free and promote yourself below! Visit some blogs and make some new friends! This post now has over 2,000 active bloggers waiting to connect in it. I encourage anyone looking for new blogs to … Continue reading
Nothing plants a memory more firmly in your head than a little embarrassment. Who doesn’t like a little shame or public humiliation in their life? It was my junior year of college and things weren’t going well. I still hadn’t learned the trick on how to force yourself to go to class. There was something … Continue reading
There is nothing like the taste of freedom and it tastes like the cool night air on a highway in Tennessee outside of Nashville. I was doing 87 miles per hour and we were making great time on our way back home to M town. I was 19 and I had very little concern for … Continue reading
Twelfth grade was going ok. I was busy with college applications, I had a girlfriend at White Station, and we were having a winning soccer season! Everything was great… except for one thing. Art class. I walked into the art room and quickly found my way to my desk. The art room tables were situated … Continue reading
“Hey Jason! Go play right outfield!” Ok coach! I don’t know how long baseball games last, but I can tell you how long I imagined they lasted as a child. I had to play baseball because I was growing up in Tennessee and all my friends were. I learned some things though. Outfield is a … Continue reading
I have this “About Me” page HERE that I wrote when I first started this blog. I am positive most people don’t read that page since a lot of people have said some pretty humorous things from seeing my photos or when I share a personal fact. I don’t feel a need to spill about … Continue reading
There was a time in my life when the land was covered in darkness. It did not matter what time of the day it was there was simply no light. I walked the world a ghost and prayed to any god that would listen that he or she would simply end it for me. I … Continue reading
The ironic part about being an adoptee is that the first and final steps of our lives are the same. Just as we must accept being adopted in the first place, we must also accept ourselves for who we are in the end. That acceptance, that journey, can take a lifetime to occur and not … Continue reading
“So I want everyone to do the next step and place their feet out so their skis make a backward V,” the instructor said in the bored voice one would expect from someone that has given this lesson a million times. His eyes would occasionally drift to the slopes where everyone else was having fun. … Continue reading
There was a time in my life when I was an alcoholic. Generally when I share this information people look at me and my youth and instantly shake their head. How can someone so young have ever had a disease that is always given a face of age, grief, and shame? What they see are … Continue reading
Stonewall Street was named after General Stonewall Jackson and is located in midtown of Memphis, Tennessee. My family loved this street so much that we lived in three different houses on the exact same road! In between the stop lights of Poplar Avenue and North Parkway lives an unwritten memoir starring an unsuspecting Korean boy in … Continue reading
-Do your parents speak English? No, they kind of wave their arms around and point at things while grunting. So do you like eat rice every day? So do you like eat fat every day? When did you come to this country? How do you know I wasn’t born here? Do you eat Asian food? … Continue reading
Would you ever, if you never saw the stars. Learn to dream in the dark away from the light. Would you ever, if you never had a cause. Fight for those that cannot fight. Would you ever, if you never knew love. Share a moment and create a memory. Would you ever, if you never … Continue reading
She comes into your life and brings nature’s blessing. And with her entrance comes a curse of wanton passion. The grass is still alive as it blazes in the sun. The chorus of our laughter floats gently in the Spring breeze. We are the definition of love and our hands are linked as we dance amongst the … Continue reading
Man’s greatest triumphs can sometimes be found during his most difficult times of adversity. This is my new saying when I reflect upon the “Dark Ages” of my life and my deepest days of depression. I am often not a praying man, which is odd considering my father is a priest and a doctor, and … Continue reading
It is far too early in the morning to make decisions that last a lifetime and yet you did. You made our decision for us as you packed us away with our memories. I sometimes wonder if you held our hands as we walked away from the life we knew. Having little idea that we … Continue reading
As my children grow older I find myself constantly caught off guard by the maturity and insight they have into issues I think, and may always think, are too mature for them to worry about. Growing up in the south provided a lot of core values that I later on found out aren’t shared around … Continue reading
1. Things move faster when you yell the word “Fuck” at them. “Fucking move” works best obviously. 2. Because the word “motherfucker” has too many syllables in it and takes too long to say. 3. People have been telling me since the age of 6 not to use this word. Well fuck them! 4. The … Continue reading
If I were to imagine a book of life it would best be described as a book of triggers. For what is life other than a slowly revealed circle of need, want, and more need? My book of triggers has always been my journals that I have kept throughout my life. Triggering thoughts, feelings, and … Continue reading
Dear You, “She says she wants to shine a light into the darkness,” but thinks a blog will not accomplish the deed. Does she not realize that with every eye that looks upon her words, a heart might possibly be softened? A mind might be altered slightly? The power to share, to care, and to … Continue reading
I spent a week away from my blog… well technically that is a lie. I am never “away” from my website, but I did force myself not to post. I spent a ton of time reading blogs and blogger thoughts. Of course after a week of doing that I have a few things to say … Continue reading
Technically the one year anniversary for HarsH ReaLiTy is not for another day and a half, however, WordPress prompted me to go ahead and renew early when I changed my credit card. I went ahead and did that just now so I will go ahead and celebrate the anniversary today. This is more than just … Continue reading
If my posts have seemed a bit reflective that is because I have been stuck in that state this week. There is a reason. My first renewal payment for this domain is coming up and some might call me crazy, but I actually have juggled with the idea of not renewing it. I am going … Continue reading
Ok this is kind of creepy. For some reason the guy moved my trash can all the way up to my porch. Normally one would think “wow! What a nice person!” I’m a realist. There are no nice people. So I went outside and looked… What do we notice detectives? No one else had such … Continue reading
I learned a hard lesson as a blogger a couple years ago. Just don’t look for it. The ‘it’ is of course the criticism and sometimes hate out there about you. When I was really pushing the traffic towards this blog I used a matrix to search and protect my blog as well. This enabled … Continue reading
-OM @smokendust
