Blogger Award :O

Opinionated Man:

I think you should get another award just for putting that post together with all the pictures lol. I am impressed and thanks for the nice mention!
Note: Comments disabled here, please comment on their post.

Originally posted on Anime Music Transcribed for the Piano:


Well.  It looks like I have been nominated for the Beautiful Blogger Award.  Interesting.  Thanks to Lysa Taylor for that. :D


This is Lysa.  She’s pretty freaking amazing, if you ask me.  Not only does she write her own fantastic short stories (which you can find here) and write her own, full-length novels, but she also talks about music (the last one was from Wolf’s Rain, so… you all know what that means.   ANOTHER ANIME FAN! :DDD).  Absolutely wonderful.  I am very grateful to be nominated by her.  Everyone should definitely check out her site.  I fully recommend it.

From Lysa’s blog:

About the Award

The Beautiful Blogger Award is an honor bestowed by fellow bloggers to show how much they love reading your blog and appreciate the beauty in your words.


1. Copy the Beautiful Blogger Award logo.

2. Thank the person who nominated you and…

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Took The Plunge and Trusted OM

Opinionated Man:

Thank you for the great post and the kind words! I am glad you are happy with my service. -OM

Originally posted on Petals Unfolding:

IMG_0684 copy 3
“Sometimes when we take the plunge
straight into our darkest fears
we create our greatest successes.”

This post is all about me highly, and I mean highly!, recommending Jason Cushman aka OM from Why am I recommending him? Because in a matter of only THREE days, he brought to Petals Unfolding 250 new followers. He is trustworthy, he is honest, he is very hard-working (too much so if you ask me!) and IF you go to his blog and see the number of followers he has, I think you will fall off your chair. He did it all himself.

Jason charges a fee of $50.00 per 250 new followers. And Jason doesn’t want payment until after he delivers the 250 followers to your blog. It was the best $50.00 I have ever spent! My BEST in photography is still yet about to come forth, so I…

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You Need “Thicker Skin”

We hear this often when we enter into social media, but the reality of it doesn’t always register for most. That is because most people don’t encounter that much abuse online. Oh sure, you will get the occasional troll or “outrageous” comment directed to you on your blog or in the comment section of a website. These encounters though are usually mild or “as dramatic as you wish them to be.” Some people actually like drama.

In 32 years I have never had this amount of attention focused on me or my writing. It can be exciting, daunting, frustrating, and an adventure all rolled into one. I have found that I sympathize with celebrities and public personalities more and more. I place no lofty airs around my persona, but I have also read more hateful words directed towards me in 15 months than most of the previous years of my life. This is not a complaint, simply a reflection of fact, but it shows why I can understand how celebrities get fed up easily. I brought that attention on myself when I decided to write my thoughts in an unfiltered manner.

You need “thicker skin” if you wish to truly place yourself out on social media. When I mean “yourself” I really mean all of you, documenting your life and thoughts on issues is not something to take lightly. The world looks for the next person to persecute and who better for any angry mob to pick than one that actually speaks their mind freely? That is the REAL danger of social media and why people must be careful about what they say or at the very least they should have the balls to back it up. If you aren’t prepared to defend your view don’t put it out on the internet.


Social Media and Youthful Advantage

The young have such an advantage these days when it comes to marketing and social media. They have loads of energy, little of the life stresses that adults have, and their borderless sense of imagination allows them to accomplish things “impossible” in the minds of experts. It truly is a blessing to be young and driven in this day of mass media.

I read many blogs and I can often tell if the speaker is young of age, as well as of heart. Their written expressions and lyrical dreams are often hindered by their own lack of vision. Right now is when they should be building their media empires, while they have the energy, tenacity, and stamina to do it. If I was 18 again and social media were what it is today, I would own the internet. I would have a million people under a common banner, ready to wave it with all the youthful vigor I lack today. I often reflect upon what type of “blogger” I might have been at such a young age. It would have been interesting to say the least.

If you are young and lack many obligations and you have the drive to be an author, a writer, or a journalist of some sort start now to begin to build your credibility. There is a free audience waiting for people to touch their shoulder. You do not have to wait for people to tell you that you are worthy before speaking to them.


Twitter – @SmokeNdust

I don’t know if I ever said this, but I do use Twitter for drunken purposes. I can be found @SmokeNdust if you want to add me. I try to follow everyone back except for people that send me those stupid “buy follower” messages. I unfollow you. I unfollow you.


Facebook Likes???

I have to ask this because I don’t use Facebook often. Do people actually go back and “unlike” a page if they change their mind about liking someone? Or is this perhaps when people defriend me that the like disappears? My Facebook page, which I use to mirror my posts, keeps going up and down in likes. I find it rather amusing, but it begs the question who actually goes back and “unlikes” a Facebook page? Isn’t that time consuming? Do any of you?


What would you change on HarsH ReaLiTy?

I believe any website can be made better. One of the main characteristics that makes a website “user friendly” is the ease of navigation. How easy is it to find what you are looking for on my website? Are there are features that you would remove or add other than the Ads?

Are there any topics you wish I would touch on? Any subjects I have written on but that you want to go further into detail upon? If there was one thing about my “posting methods” that you could change what would it be?

Just a brief note that I am still working on my project and I actually began another rewrite recently. We will see how it pans out. Thanks for all the encouragement and I look forward to reading some of your suggestions on how to improve this blog site.

-Opinionated Man

Holy Balls that is Funny!

I just saw a commercial for a company called It is for protection against internet trolls. I am still laughing. Apparently they help remove negative reviews. The trolls didn’t look like “Trolls” they looked like boars or pigs. But they were human size. Holy balls that was a funny commercial.

Seriously who wants to form a company with me? We could sell snow cones…

Email me. We will take over the world.


Three Things I Try Not to Watch

There are three types of movies that I try to avoid watching. I dislike movies in which torture is highlighted, movies about slavery or people being forced against their will, and movies about Jesus and especially about the crucifixion. I have never watched “The Passion”, I made it twenty minutes into 12 Years a Slave, and I dislike watching films like Hostel (even though I saw it). Allow me to explain my distaste for these different categories.

I refuse to watch movies about Christ and “overly dramatized” pieces on what his final days were like. I have never seen the popular movie “The Passion” and I see very little purpose in the making of these films. I highly doubt they were intended to “spread the word” and were instead used for shock and awe affect. I hate when people create something just to do it, with no personal attachment whatsoever to the subject. That to me just reeks of desperation for attention. Further, what else needs to be shown about the crucifixion? Why do people keep making these stupid movies? Conversions… please don’t make me laugh.

I made it 20 minutes into 12 Years a Slave. I found the first 20 or so minutes to be average quality and the reason I cut off the movie was due to the torture scene when he gets drugged and captured. Now some people might say “well you should force yourself to watch it. The very fact you turned away lets you know how important seeing this movie is!” Um… excuse me? How is my discomfort by the subject indicative of any hidden guilt or need for personal growth? I never owned slaves and slavery was an evilness that consumed the whole world, not just America. It still goes on to this day. While I understand the need to study and understand the past, I am not sure what purpose films like this serve. If anything I see the potential for greater anger from both whites and blacks from simply observing the story. That probably depends on where you watch this movie, but I imagine watching a movie on Korean comfort women taken by Japan during World War II. If half the theater were Japanese and the other half Korean would that not be a recipe for violence? What is the difference from these movies? For those saying “well OM you are being unfair” I challenge you to read some of the posts and articles by blacks and whites that did NOT like the movie. They are far more aggressive in their words.

I don’t like torture scenes. It makes me feel uncomfortable and queasy. My greatest fear is to be held against my will and tortured, or to have this done to my loved ones. That is part of the reason I refuse to travel to Mexico, I don’t intend to be the next tourist wearing a tire. There are crazy people in this world and some talented ones as well. The talented humans made these movies… I suppose. The crazy people would be the “John” next to you laughing his ass off while a girl is cut up graphically on a large screen. Think that guy isn’t just a little bit off?


Ten Reasons I am NOT Afraid of You!

  1. You keep saying “Bro, we…” and we are the only ones out here. Am I stepping on your other friends?
  2. After every insult you take a step backwards. Where are you dancing off to?
  3. You allowed your woman to pick this fight for you. We can definitely tell who wears the pants in this relationship.
  4. You just waved an imaginary wand at me…
  5. You asked your friend to hold your man purse so you could “handle your business.” A man purse… really???
  6. Your favorite sport in the Winter Olympics is figure skating.
  7.  You keep telling me how big you are over social media. Anyone that makes such repeated claims online must have a serious self-esteem issue that is naturally born from being a runt.
  8.  Your attacks on me read like a video game. “I am going to dragon punch, lizard trip, tiger slash, and panda hug you to death!”
  9. You keep referring to your time in the Star Fleet. Which fleet was that again?
  10. You just told me you are a level 85 Druid. On second thought… I am scared of you.

-Opinionated Man

Bullying – Understanding a Killer

I am not a therapist or a psychologist, but I did get bullied for most of my life during grade school and through high school. It is a tough thing to be Asian and live in the South, even tougher still to grow up in Memphis and to truly understand what it is like to be a minority. I am sure others can relate with different names of cities and different skin colors. It isn’t easy and we are plagued by thoughts that might seem drastic and evil at times. Are we afraid of admitting our thoughts or is it simply taboo to speak about subjects that release inner demons the public feel should be left asleep.

I laugh when I watch the news reporters and their comments on bullying. “I am not sure what is going on in America, this growing society of bullying.” Then you have the pretty reporter, who was most likely a cheerleader and very popular (yes I just generalized) who will say “I just feel sorry those kids felt so alone.” Sure you do. That is why you ignored half the lunch room, you know the “corners” the cool kids didn’t go near. Yes, I am sure you NOW are very concerned about such topics because it is your job.

I was not a total outcast at my schools, nor was I part of the coolest group either. You had to be black to be part of that group, which is understandable. From what I gather in Korean culture it is exactly the same way and maybe even meaner to an outsider. So I don’t begrudge kids for being kids. That doesn’t mean I didn’t hate a lot of them. There is a difference between encountering racism a few times (or once in your whole entire life) or bullying on “the occasion” and receiving it every day. School, random parking lot, anywhere I went in the 1990s I normally had something said. I would ignore it. I was a kid, I had white parents that didn’t really get “the struggle” and that is ok. I don’t hold that against them, how could they? They were white and in the United States that is a +1 mark for you regardless of how low you are on the ladder. I challenge anyone to say otherwise and that stands to this day.

That is cool, this isn’t a post about race actually. I can understand why kids that get bullied go on shooting sprees. The media is so stupid. I will admit the access to weapons is part of it. This does not change the fact that I am a strong supporter of guns rights and by the way the federal government is actively trying to disarm veterans right now. They are claiming they are not sound of mind, because of the wars we are being SENT TO, and now they want to remove their right to bear arms. A right EVERY citizen in America should have. Why? Read the news what do you see? You see murder, war, terrorism, random shootings, revolution, political struggles, and it is everywhere in every country. Fear is what we see, but we also see a world growing more desperate. Desperate enough to kill.

I am sure life for women is very different in regards to the social games we play. I know they can be cruel and mean as shit, I saw my sister go through it. But I don’t know if women are as physically violent as men. On the majority I would say you are not. I would even venture to say that this is why we see more shootings by males. In this case it serves my purpose because I am male and I will show you what that mind can seem like.

I remember well getting bullied in school. Mine wasn’t even that bad, it was almost done on principle and had a chain reaction affect. One person would say a minor racial slur, they normally weren’t horrible, and a guy down the hall would hear it and would also say something. Normally high school hallways were gauntlets for these types of verbal abuse. It wasn’t physical normally, although I do recall often being bumped “by accident.” But I also had friends and generally stayed in the back. My friends were all white and I also had some black friends growing up and to this day. That isn’t relevant really to this, because like I said many of you I am sure went through some form of bullying just with different racial characters in the picture. It is a rough life and I understand and sympathize with you for it.

I wrote a post recently in which I showed a visualization for an internal struggle after murder. Because that is what killing is, you are murdering someone and taking away their right to live. A long time reader asked me if I was being serious about the write and I responded that yes it was a truthful post. I have thought of killing before and it isn’t necessarily something I am proud of. It also isn’t something I am ashamed of nor feel any need to hide. When I was being bullied I was alone in it in that my friends were white and didn’t understand why “I was so bothered by things people were “just” saying.” Yea, they didn’t get that it wears on you. Psychologically it tears at your mental stability after years of it. Let me paint a picture for you of a male childhood ladies. This is only one example, but let us see if any males agree with it.

A boy gets bullied in 6th grade. He has endured words and insults throughout his childhood, so in the 6th grade he punches a kid and gets in a fight. The bullying stops for a month and the kid feels like maybe Chuck Norris was right. Maybe taking action brings a reaction. The next year the bullying starts again. Or we could even change it, the kid is forced to move to a new city and suddenly he isn’t as confident as he was. There is always a “bigger” kid on the playground and unfortunately it never seems to be you. Damn that sucks huh?

So you envision beating those kids up. That is how it starts of course. Anyone that was “bullied” in life and I mean truly set upon that says they never thought about beating that person up or punching them is a fucking liar. Well those fantasies don’t satisfy the appetite for long. It becomes a choice of paths. Fortunately for me I grew up with a father that is a priest and a doctor so there were no weapons in our house. I didn’t get a chance to shoot up a school. This is where I say easy access is a part of it, I will admit that. And I also admit no one goes hunting with an M-16 assault rifle with an AK47, just in case the M-16 jams. They normally do. I am 32 years old, a father of two children, and a husband who understands what these kids are going through, even at my age. Because I still have the memories that are sometimes dreams, but are always memories. I hope anyone that is being bullied can find some type of support or can realize that once you move things can change. But I won’t sit here and gasp in shock and say “how did little Billy do that?” Because little Billy got fed up with taking shit and decided hell didn’t sound so bad.

-Opinionated Man

Beware of

Have you all heard of this website? Those of you that live in the United States may want to look into it. Apparently this website gathers information about people and posts it as an open directory. I Google myself a lot, old habits, and I found this website a couple months ago. You have to email them to get your information removed and even then I am not sure they actually delete it. It is simply not shown anymore. This website will post your name, address, a google image of your home, your age, email, phone number, AND will attempt to link you to your family members. If you are in any way concerned over your identity and the safety of your credit it might be a good idea to write this website if you are on it.

This makes you wonder how much of your information is being shared without your knowledge. Think about it people.

-Opinionated Man

You Aren’t Special

I get it. There is a thrill that comes with social media that can be infectious regardless of how old you are. We get 1,000 connections to random strangers and suddenly we are panting for a banner and a logo. It is amazing what a little feedback will do to a person’s ego.

The most amusing post to read is “I am closing my blog to write a book due to public demand.” What public demand? I see 100 followers and most of the comments are by people with your last name… so what exactly made you decide now was the time to name yourself CEO of MyOwnCompany? Don’t outpace your success…

I get a lot of LinkedIn requests. I am always amazed by how many CEOs and Founders there are in the world, especially for companies I have never heard of… ever! I am not trying to knock anyone for doing something great like starting a business for themselves that is awesome! What I look down upon are people that give themselves titles to stroke their own ego and importance. That is so stupid that it makes me not want to follow people back or accept their connections.

Half the time people will not have their bullshit called through life. They will go on and live with their “lie” and feel good about it. That is cool and kudos to you for doping the world! The sad part is that people blast these same lies on social media and don’t keep it safely hidden in their bedroom. They begin to actually think they are a CEO of a company that doesn’t exist and in turn they actually invite the failure that comes from such notions. I just decided I am a Captain, even though I have no ship currently. If my “imaginary ship” sank would I still feel sad?

You aren’t special. I get reminded how very mediocre I am every time I come across a person with 100,000 followers on Twitter or a larger blog than me. I don’t howl at the moon and proclaim my blogging greatness or how awesome all my connections are because there is an average Joe out there that is doing twice what I am this very minute. There is another person doing three times what that person is doing. It is a never-ending footrace and proclaiming yourself a winner in an unwinnable game is really only setting yourself up for painful realization. That realization will come when you wake up one day and realize that you are only doing what so many others are also doing. You aren’t special.


Facebook Phobia: Rehab

I sat down with a dear friend in her backyard one morning last year. The kids were starting their fun and we settled to catch up. Before I knew what was happening, my tech-savvy, happily tech-dependent friend laid out how easy it was going to be to GET ME ON FACEBOOK that moment. It was not the first time Tera had encouraged this recluse to join civilization. Nor had she been the only one. But this time my death grip on the comfort of simpler, slower times let up despite itself as she reasoned how quick it’ll be to snap a photo of me and jump-start my profile. She sounded so disarming. I warned her I take few solo shots and when I do, run 20 to delete 19. A blur of sixty shots later, we had done it. Indeed it was effortless and it was torture. I clutched my heart over a deep prick of pain. Tera chuckled. She cheerfully, so patiently picked out with me The One photo I okayed with hesitation.

My reluctance to Facebook was not just about the hermit in me. Yes, I’ve blogged some things personal. But I wrote largely in the quiet of my solitude. I didn’t know if I was ready for the noise of a pajama cocktail party. There was also the fear, a simple matter of keeping up with the times. Which, according to today’s M.O. means learning technology beyond the level of email. Yes, email is so 90s (and wonderfully so). Glancing at my husband’s Facebook page made me dizzy. Just so many…buttons. Things going on at once.

I watched in awe as Tera’s fingers flew over her phone. She went on to crop my photo – a whole art studio and tool shed in that device of hers. So many icons on the screen, shapes, a feast of choices as we uploaded my picture.

I recoiled. I was overwhelmed. Facebook was unfamiliar terrain. What technical functions did I have to learn?

Fingers tap danced briefly, and there I was. My smile greeting the masses. We hung the mask that had hid the recluse from the parade of life. In just a handful of clicks, I leapt out of the dark ages of my perceived security into a Brave New World. I was aware that the possibilities for online amity could only make swapping stories more enjoyable. But to put it plainly, change is hard.

Congratulate me: a naturalized citizen of social media and of postmodern humanity.

Holistic Wayfarer

A Connection in my Pants

I feel a connection in my pants. It comes in the form of a vibration and a sudden awareness of interest. Where do the unsuspecting eyes currently dwell? My pants know. With their awakening comes a rebirth of personal satisfaction. Waves upon waves of limelight roll ashore in the form of green envy. And as the man walks upon the beach he feels yet again another connection through his cell phone resting within his pocket. It is his leash to the world, even when he simply wishes to disconnect.


The Day I Turned Down Huffington Post

I have a confession to make. Around the middle of last year I was approached by an editor of Huffington Post to be included in an article on fathers with opinions. I was at first flattered, but then after a couple back and forth emails I decided to decline. The issue was they wanted full disclosure of who I was… and I did not feel it was worth it. Many might call that a stupid move and 7 months later I am not sure if they aren’t right.

I do know that I still “think” I made the right decision and I won’t “sell” myself for a spot on a website or article no matter what company name it is. I just won’t.


HarsH ReaLiTy Facebook & Opinionated Man Twitter

See the right sidebar for my new Twitter and Facebook accounts or the below links. If you use these to follow me that is fine as well. I don’t talk on Facebook though. Thanks to anyone that follows and likes!


This Website is Pure WordPress

This site will no longer be connected to any other websites. No Facebook, Twitter, Instawhatever, or LinkedIn will be used. If you wish to follow this website I appreciate it. My email is posted but I would ask that you only use that for emergency reasons. Thank you to those that followed me on Twitter, I actually will miss my drunken 140 character rants…