My goal with this blog is to offend everyone in the world at least once with my words… so no one has a reason to have a heightened sense of themselves. We are all ignorant, we are all found wanting, we are all bad people sometimes.
I see a lot of articles by both men and women claiming that “women are hard to understand.” Why do people find women so complex and difficult to decipher? I figured it was my duty to provide some basic pieces of information for those “lost souls” that cannot understand the opposite sex. You may thank me later world.
Women want a manly man. They want a guy that can rundown a bull and belt out poetry while fighting bad guys with one hand. One tip I hand to men is to always carry a whistle on a date. This isn’t a “rape whistle,” but in fact a “notice me asshole Taxi Driver” whistle! Nothing is more emasculating than franticly trying to wave down a taxi and getting passed by time and time again. Then the woman raises a pinky and “WALLAH” your chariot has arrived! I have solved this problem by carrying a whistle because I can’t do the cool “two finger technique” from the movies. Instead I will blow the shit out of that whistle and hope to impress the woman with my large, bulging red cheeks. You know what they say about large cheeks right…
Men understand that women like flashy things and “the moment.” I have found a way to make ANY moment special. I walk around with a pocket full of glitter and will spontaneously shout “PRESTO” while throwing a handful in the air. The only time this fails to impress is if you happen to be dating a circus performer… they generally expect a second act.
Many females like active and athletic men. I am lazy and get tired just thinking about running, however, I have solved this silly expectation by pretending to get ready to “work out” multiple times a week. I never actually do anything, but the glamour of seeing me “warrior up” normally does the trick. If that fails I MAY do a couple of pushups if the gravitational pull of the earth feels particularly weak.
Apparently women think that men don’t clean… or cook. Men are also really lazy when it comes to remembering when we did it last during arguments. I have solved this issue by creating a Facebook page called “Look honey I did the dishes.” Providing an easily referenced source for women to ponder over BEFORE the argument will always benefit you in the long run. I suggest secondary and third sites for cooking and chores which we men “don’t do ever.”
I don’t understand why guys give up so easily in fights. I know the enemy is cunning and will use loose historical fact to back their attacks. This can easily be repelled, however, by simply never admitting anything. “Did you eat my leftovers from last night?” Nope, no idea what you are talking about… maybe it was the dog…“We don’t have a dog…” Are you sure we don’t have a dog? I have seen many dogs today. You see what I did there men? It isn’t lying if there is enough truth to make it float. If all else fails… use the backup plan and throw glitter in the air and run.
It crossed my mind while driving today that everyone on this blog still calls me Jason. My friends actually don’t call me Jason, they call me Cush and always have. I love my last name and it provides endless scenarios of amusement. For instance I once sat and watched a job recruiter walk past me three times while muttering my name under his breath. “Jason Cushman… Jason Cushman… where the fuck is this Cushman???” Obviously not the Korean guy sitting in front of you right.
My family name is old and my father’s line is directed related to David Cushman who helped organize the Mayflower. Yea… I am bragging a bit. I am NOT related to the Cushman that owns Cushman and Wakefield that I know of. I hinted in a post months ago that I was reminded at how unsuccessful I was by a sign with my name on it… yea that was a Cushman and Wakefield sign. Mystery solved!
I have a Korean name… but I was told it was a girl’s name. An older Korean lady told me the name is actually the type that was once used for males or females. I am not sure what my “birth mother” was thinking when she named me Soojin. Maybe a Korean can explain it to me? I do know the last name Ahn is pretty common, you could throw a rock in a Korean market and hit four or five Ahns at a time. They probably will kung-fu your ass though, so I wouldn’t recommend it.
Happy Monday fellow bloggers/followers! I wanted to say once again THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. I absolutely LOVE hearing from you. I LOVE when people come up to me at random, or text me, message me, instagram me and tell me that they can relate to a blog post or that they enjoyed what they read. It means the world to me to have what I have written inspire you. Or make you laugh. Or to make you think “Lord have mercy I am glad I’m not that girl” Whatever it may be, thank you for taking the time to read what I have to say. I realized I didn’t know much about my followers on my blog, so I followed almost everyone back and read through your blogs over the last few days. I am so glad I did this! I was so pleasantly surprised and…
We share a stolen moment. Innocent it was not, as thoughts collided like meteors in the sky. Leaving flashes of wonder, clouds falling in the shape of question marks. What was lost. What was gained. We contemplate meaning together and from that union… a definition is written. Left unsaid by words engraved in lustful sand. Next to our forgotten feelings, litter on a beach once more.
What stands the test of time like hate? Love comes and goes, sadness is coffee’s companion, and yet hate is enjoyed at all hours of the day. What is more liberating than hate? Free of constraint and obligation, I freely spread the flames of my fury without hindrance. In my need to destroy I will often burn the unsuspecting. The guiltless will look on in bemusement as the guilty are stabbed by the spear of aggression. Do I need permission to wield this mace of vengeance simply for the sake of spite? Who dares stay my hand with words of law or an overwhelming feeling of “wrong?”
There is one that dares. Might I not hate “him” the most for that very reason?
I don’t work for WordPress. I have seen some comments speculating that I do… which I find amusing since if I did indeed work for WordPress I probably wouldn’t be blogging so much would I? I think it is people trying to find an “excuse” for why other people are successful. I read a long string of reasons why they feel their own website isn’t worth reading so I thought it would be fun to compare and contrast some of the more popular ones.
“My website is plain and I don’t even own my domain. No one would want to visit my blog.” The only think I paid for was my domain. I still use a FREE template and all customizations done on this website were done by me. It took time and effort, but it was worth learning “how.” You can use excuses all day to explain why people aren’t visiting your blog, but this is not a valid one. Everyone has a potential audience on WordPress.
“No one will want to read what I write especially if it is personal.” Well that is simply not true. People come on WordPress to read personal views and unfiltered thought. If we wanted politically correct articles we would visit CNN.com or some other “crowd pleasing website.” The first step is finding yourself interesting and only you can do that.
“I don’t have a theme… what kind of blog doesn’t have a subject theme or some direction?” HarsH ReaLiTy has no theme. My blog has no direction. People still get onboard for the ride daily… even though we have no clue where the hell we are going! At least I provide alcohol.
“It takes time to grow an audience. Large blogs aren’t grown overnight…” I absolutely hate this saying or any quote like it. People love to think up excuses as to why they are not succeeding or getting where they wish to go. The whole “Rome wasn’t built in a day” view is worn out. In fact Rome might have been built in a day if Koreans had lived there. You can accomplish any goal you really work at in blogging. There are no rules or standards and other bloggers that suggest to you that there are have no clue what they are talking about. They are simply impressing their own limitations on you. Ignore them and do you.
“I will never have a large following because I will never be Freshly Pressed.” When I read sentences like this I want to shoot something. This is such a horrible way of viewing blogging. I have never been Freshly Pressed and will most likely never be in the future. You control your audience size… not Freshly Pressed.
I think that you handled being approached in that manner great. Many people would not have been able to swallow their pride I fear. Thanks for sharing and taking part in the challenge! -OM
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Love is shown more in deeds than in words. ~ Ignatius of Loyola #quote
The nagging sense of being an academic fraud was a part of my soul since childhood. In the small, poor schools I attended, I reasoned that is was easy to be labeled smart. As the first person in my family to attend college, even though I did well I lacked confidence because I knew I was missing something. It wasn’t until I was in my Master of Public Administration program that an old professor pulled me aside and said, “You haven’t been taught how to write, have you?” My face flashed red and fighting back tears I simply replied, “No.” He asked if I would like to learn how to write an essay and that it would take an hour. An hour! I jumped at the opportunity.
Quickly, writing became a task to master, a confidence…
In the response to http://aopinionatedman.com/2014/04/17/challenge-most-influential-writing-moment/
I am going to share ‘my most influential writing
I have such glorious moments very often. There are two types of them that I have experienced.
Type 1 Moments:
These are the moments when I feel a divine connection. I pack my bags and go on writing like I am on the mission rescue to all the struggling souls. (You may read about this phenomenon here http://baadseher.wordpress.com/about-author/ ). Lending helping hands, seeing through my scholastic glasses with a coffee mug on my side which soon cools down as I forget to sip in enthusiasm of writing.
Type 2 Moments:
These are moments when ..ummm… we have fights/arguments. (I cannot believe I am sharing this to the world!) When the dust settle down after the battle, stories emerge from my mind ( http://storiesbundle.wordpress.com/ ). They keep on coming until the pain of fight is…
Thanks for taking part in the challenge. The funny thing for me is that essay writing only became easy later in life. For two reasons. Confidence and the invention of the home computer. Typing is definitely in my bag. ;)
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Do you have a moment that you consider the most influential on your writing? If so care to share? If you write a post and send me the link I will reblog.
photo taken off the pier in the neighborhood
MOST INFLUENTIAL WRITING MOMENT
I don’t particularly remember a moment of influence like a teacher saying ‘great job you could be a writer’ or anything like that. All I remember was that for me, writing didn’t come with furrowed brows and beads of sweat like it did for my counterparts.
In school, essay questions were my forte. Where others panicked on the lack of multiple choice questions, I saw it as an opportunity to hover, circle and land in the spot I needed to be to answer the question. I was biding time till the light-bulb flicked…
Do you ever experience writer jealousy? Ever read something and instead of appreciating it you thought “man I could have written that!” What are you more envious of a person that writes in your same genre better than you or someone that is able to create something you cannot?
I have a mixture of feelings when I read literature of any type. With poetry I am pretty snobbish. Even though I don’t write great poetry myself or even what I consider “poems” I still think highly of my ability to pen my mind poetically. Sounds a bit ignorant I am sure, but what person has not claimed they could scale a mountain having never climbed a foot?
I believe I grade myself fairly. On a scale of academics my writing is a solid 6 out of 10. That might be a little generous, but I am not taking into account my horrible grammar and punctuation. My poetry is a different score and the reason I give myself multiple progression levels is because I love to push myself. I strive to write what I can’t and I disdain things already written. I can’t stand to read about the same topic by multiple bloggers and it still all sounds regurgitated.
For me it is about pride. Taking pride in trying to accomplish something someone else hasn’t. Everything about my blog and how I blog is geared towards that goal. If you read a post here that sounds like anything else… I have failed. It might seem like I treat my blog with very little care sometimes, I can see why people might think that. The topics I choose, my level of interaction or lack thereof, and the often blunt nature in which I generalize throws people off. It makes people uncomfortable in this world made up of “politically correct responses” to hear someone say absolutes without fear. Does it really matter if I truly believe it or not? No… sadly not really.
So why do I blog the way I do? I can’t honestly think my “personal blog” is that unique can I? Actually I do. I feel this blog is very unique and that is why I rarely get “writer jealousy.” I have simply not run into many people that write with my same style. Do you feel the same way about your own writing?
I am tired of being stuck at 35,000. After I complete a couple current contracts I’ll take a break and pump HR to 40,000. That will make me feel better. Please be patient if you are commenting on old articles, my responses are slower because my new phone doesn’t show me who any of you are actually talking to… so I have to go to the actual post. Doesn’t seem like a very useful WP App to me or maybe I am missing something. Wouldn’t surprise me, light I am tired…
Your truth is not my truth unless I accept it. And like a picky eater I will choose what I like and discard the rest. I see absolutes in the morning and different shades of right in the Fall. But come Spring I may again only consider the black and white of the world, which is my right.
I challenge the man who will force his views upon me to come and try. I do not dance, but our feet shall surely tango. I need no forceful aggression in this duel of wills, only a single phrase.
Tribute paid, I almost didn’t bother. For what more accolades do you need on a night where humans howl your name. What must we give to understand the sensation that we feel, as bruised surface reflects like twins in our eyes. A shame to repeat the words of him or her, nay… instead I’ll whisper my own tune beneath breathes of Chardonnay. For you would never criticize me. We are brothers.
I love my current blog hopping that I get to do each day. I have been reading a lot of your blogs and I have a couple observations I just want to voice. Not really to anyone in particular… just a conversation between the wall and me.
I often read posts under the tags “love and relationships” where a woman is complaining about continuously being asked out. Granted… often times this post is not accompanied by a picture (cough, cough bullshit), but in the spirit of this post OK you are a drop dead gorgeous dame that gets hit on all the time. I would like to point out that I have never in my life said “drop dead gorgeous dame,” but I was trying to think of what a misogynist would say. Surprisingly enough it actually doesn’t just “come to me.” Imagine that…
So in the most recent post I read a woman complained about how men are predators when they learn a lady is newly single. She ranted on how sad that is and how men are ignorant for adopting this attitude of “well you are available now” when it comes to approaching relationships. Personally I agree. I mean what an asshole right? He waited until you were single and then dared to ask you out? What a fucking moron, we should probably castrate that horn dog. What an audacious bastard to think that just because you are single you might want to allow this guy to buy YOU dinner. What is wrong with the world?
How about what is WRONG WITH YOU! Do you know how many people never get asked out? Sounds funny to you right super hotness? Guess what? Not everyone is so lucky as to get asked out and even more importantly not everyone has the opportunity to be picky. That guy that asked you out that you so disdain probably sat around figuring out how to approach you. He probably practiced it in his head. He should have inserted your mockery into the mental picture huh? You live a rough life unnamed woman.
People need to stop and consider the other side of the court. Such selfishness in this world, everything is me, me, me. What ever happened to just being nice because of the principle of it? No, instead we belittle people and then take out our anger on them as if they are the cause. Take a strong look in the mirror before you define someone as the cause of your issues. Most cases you are the creator of what is bothering you. Not some poor chap that is simply gathering up the balls to ask a girl out on a date. Women can be such assholes.