Shatter Me


Shatter me with your passion and send my soul into the wind. That I may fly towards another and share your words. Cradle me against the torrent of humanity, the tears of anger and sadness of others wash over me. I close my eyes to the pain of the world for a second, a second just to myself… Laying down the boulders of others, I take up my own cross and begin to climb The Hill. Inadvertently I follow the footsteps of others, but I do not share their trials or their story. The mud from their tears provides a fresh pavement for my own footsteps to leave their impression. A trail of humanity for the next.

J.C.C.

10 Annoying Things People Say


1. “I hope you don’t get offended by this but…” You are about to say something that is going to make me want to punch you in the face right? I never understood why people feel the need to say this. It must be due to a weak backbone because they normally follow this phrase with something highly offensive. “I hope you don’t get offended by this but… have you gained weight?” Why yes I have and thank you! I am not offended at all!

2. “When I was young.” I seriously think you have to be holding a cane to say this. I actually had a boss once say this to me and when I asked him his age he was younger than I was. Dude… shut your mouth, when you were young indeed.

3. “I’m the type of guy/girl that…” Why don’t you just show me instead of telling me? Honestly if you need to tell people “the type of person you are” you must not be living the real you or they would ALREADY KNOW. And if you are telling this to a new acquaintance just know it is annoying as shit unless you are famous and even if you are famous you better be Anthony Bourdain interesting. Half the time the people actually will do that thing anyways…

4. “How’s it going?” I don’t know why people say “how’s it going” when you pass them in the hall at work. I feel like a jerk if I don’t say a “same shit different day” phrase or something more than “hey!” Maybe I am just anti-social.

5. “You wouldn’t understand.” Is it because I am Korean? I am stupid? I am male? I am tall? I am skinny? I am looking in the wrong direction? God didn’t love me? Why? Why???

6. “I am really good at Starcraft.” LIES! YOU AREN’T KOREAN! I am offended.

7. “I am so tired. I never get any sleep.” Unless you have kids, work two to three jobs to make ends meet, or are in Law/Medical/Architecture school you don’t know tired. Even if you never have kids I still think this is a stupid statement, ask a parent with a couple children how tired they are pumpkin.

8. “Tom Brady is the best quarterback in the NFL.” I hate you.

9. “I am sooo offensive!” You see I never claim to be offensive and in fact I think the whole world should love me. People that say this statement are generally as mild as the yellow packet of sauce from Taco Bell.

10. “America thinks they need to police the world and stick their nose in everyone’s business.” Yea, but you guys sure love to ask us for loans right? How are my tax dollars working out for you? I wonder if our Presidents get slapped in the face before or after we hand out these checks. When is it going to end America? Let the world kill itself.

-OM

 

Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter


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She comes into your life and brings nature’s blessing. And with her entrance comes a curse of wanton passion. The grass is still alive as it blazes in the sun. The chorus of our laughter floats gently in the Spring breeze. We are the definition of love and our hands are linked as we dance amongst the growing and the grown alike. We enjoy timeless sunsets on picturesque settings creating canvases waiting to be painted at each moment. We love.

Time works wonders and bonds grow firm. We resolve to walk quietly into the night together. Hands held tightly against the shadows we once faced alone. We pick each other up in the heat of the Summer, against the blazing sun and humanity’s punishment. We turn as one, in unison with one another’s needs. I am your need and you are mine. And like an oak tree we grow together.

The rain has come and we have weathered storms. We still touch… but sometimes our hands Fall like leaves from our tired limbs. The chatter of children running around our base keeps us united, we are still united with finger painted signs and chalk figures. But some nights are cold and the moon shines two shadows upon the ground.

It snows here in Denver. The Winter seems to be most of the year… at least lately. But even with the constant ice, it does melt with the strength of will. A will we share each morning and return to each night. The seasons form a timeless ring that hardens into a golden promise. They touch each time our hands unite with infused emotion. Regardless of what emotion that is the presence of feelings means that we still care.

Jason Cushman

-Opinionated Man

7/11/2014

Guest Post – Did I Have A Brush With Death Today?


No, nothing so dramatic or notable as an auto accident or a shooting. But, what would you call losing a few hours out of your day without the aid of alcohol or drugs?

I woke up around 6:00 PM, feeling as though I was lucky to even be alive this evening, and spent the next 10 minutes crying like a baby. Nobody noticed. Nobody cared. So, am I truly lucky to be alive today? Allow me to explain.

Today was an extremely hot day. Temperatures easily reached over 100 degrees and the sun showed no mercy as it beat down upon the people below. For a living, I do physical labor for the most part. I am up and down ladders a couple hundred times a day, carry loads of extreme weight and/or size, and try to put out 100% of myself accomplishing my tasks. But, this is what is expected of a man in today’s society if he wants to draw a minimum wage. The problem however is; I am a 57 year old overweight smoker.Today I believe I learned the significance of being such.

By noon today I was a puddle of sweat, was having difficulty breathing, my mind had gone foggy, and there was no escape. When lunch time came, I could not eat. I had spent the morning trying to survive the heat by consuming so much water that I “sloshed” when I walked. Shortly after lunch I told the boss I needed to go to the hospital. I felt as if I was going to vomit and was borderline passing out. Instead of going to the hospital I had the boss take me to my motorcycle which was at the company shop. My intention was to ride my bike to the hospital so I would have a ride there when released. I was barely coherent when I fired up my motorcycle to head to the hospital. I never made it there, ending up at home instead. Now mind you, I was headed for the hospital and made no conscious decision otherwise. Regardless, I ended up at home. It was likely about 1:00 to 1:30 PM at the time but I do not recall ever arriving home.

The next thing I am aware of, is it is around 6:00PM and I feel like hell. And, I do not recall ever coming home. Then the implications of my day registered to my mind and tears filled my eyes. For the first time in my life, I know fear. Not just the feeling of being afraid of something you can avoid, but the fear of realizing that today could have been my last. For about 10 minutes I sobbed like a friggin baby. Even the people in the room with me didn’t notice. Not that I would want them to. I just noted that they didn’t, thus saving me the un-necessary embarrassment. Frankly, losing a few hours of my day scares the hell out of me. This is the first time in my life that I have no recollection of what I have done, where I have been, or how I got to and fro.

My neighbor just hollered at me, asking how I felt. When I approached him just now he told me that I didn’t look like myself. He told me he saw me when I came in earlier. It seems I was white as a ghost, sweating bullets, and like I was about to Fall out.” But, I was still able to be courteous enough to stop and allow some children to pass across my driveway before I drove in. Well even as bad off as I was, I was still a gentlemen. That puts it all in perspective, maybe I won’t act like a damn fool on the way out. I guess I should not be concerned about this, they can rebuild me.

Of course, I am going to make light of this. Yes, we have the technology. They can rebuild me. They can fix what I have broke, then rebuild me. They can make me faster, stronger, and even better looking. Why doesn’t that make me feel any better. I think I should stay home from work tomorrow, perhaps find my way to the hospital/doctor’s office and let them give me a diagnostic followed by a tune up and oil change, I hope. . . . They gave ma an appointment in August and told me to come into Emergency if I had further difficulties

Most of us have one thing in common, we abuse our body. We drink, smoke, dope, work, work harder, and play vigorously. All at a cost to our body. Sure some of these things can be good for your body, but not in excess. And, many of us tend to do too much without regard for the consequences. My advice after 57 years in this life . . . Smoking is stupid, booze and dope maybe in moderation, and a healthy diet is an absolute necessity. Heed my words on this, you will be glad you did.

Do you wonder what happens to you after death? Is there an afterlife? Is there a heaven? Is there a hell? Or, do we just become worm food and that is the end of it. Is this the point when even atheists pray to God? I have led a full life, I guess. No I haven’t. I have led a “shit” life, full of bullshit and waste. I have loved and been loved, yet nothing had permanence. In my younger years I was at the top of my game, in everything. Only to lose it all once I became older. I have not yet made my mark upon this world. Will I be given a chance in the next life? Is there a next life? Oh Lord, please tell me there is another after this one . . .

http://richbrunelle.wordpress.com/

Random House


Our rooms are painted with emotion as we live our life within them. We play our parts well under sun and stars. No script is needed as our hearts spar daily with one another. So passionate is the act our shadows join in the dance. They smile maniacally back at us as they observe the scene of the day. Random House… you present both ends of the essence of feeling and tie our humanity in a knot. Our hands meet and pause while we consider the mood of the moment. Moments spun together presenting life, the life found within the Random House.

Goodnight WP,
-OM

Guest Post – Love on top


As promised, I am gonna take you to a place near Bangalore (India). Do you love the mountains ? Is trekking your thing ? Do you enjoy the greenery all around ?

If yes, then you should definitely visit Wayanad, which is in Kerala (a neighboring state which is also called as ‘God’s own country’ and they call it for nothing) is a beautiful district covered with hills, lakes and wild reserves. When we went for a three day trip to this place I did my first and only trek to Chembara Peak. Being there was like being in heaven. I leave you with two pictures of a specific point in Chembara Peak (a trek of 4+ hours to and fro) which is the highlight of that place.

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The heart shaped lake at the top of the hills.

The heart shaped lake at the top (2100 mtrs high)
Wanna come visit ?

KG

For Men Only – 10 Ways to Lie… but Not “Really Lie” to a Woman


  1. The easiest way is to cross your fingers. This still counts… I don’t know what idiot told everyone this stops working when you are a kid. I use it all the time!
  2. It isn’t really a lie if there is an ounce of truth. Kind of like a pool of water that has a drop of holy water dropped in it is suddenly pure right? Makes sense. So just make sure you put “enough truth” to make it “good enough.” You don’t have to feel guilty about getting caught over “good enough” fellas.
  3. Don’t look her in the eyes. Anything said while not looking a woman in the eyes is questionable and this can be proven in current court records. It will work. Be firm men.
  4. If you kind of trail off at the end of sentences then “technically” more words “might” have been there. This counts as the “loose ends” rule of covering your ass. Use this only as a last resort and when we say “last resort” this is like backing out quickly with guns blazing “last resort.”
  5. If you say that a friend did it this will work, but only a couple times a year. If you are using this all the time it gets old and you deserve to get caught. “Aw honey I am sorry I was late… Bob got drunk and threw up everywhere. I had to follow and make sure he got home ok… I am such a good friend.” If you imagine a halo above your head I hear this sometimes actually occurs. If it does, Youtube that and share with all the other men in the world please.
  6. If you are late say you had to “find the right outfit.” No woman in the world should ever be able to contest this excuse from a man. Ever.
  7. You are allowed to use the excuse “I was saving a kitten from a burning building” once in your life. It helps to photoshop some stuff and maybe not look like the chess club president. That is just hard to believe…
  8. If you are frequently out late and can’t answer your phone and your girlfriend (this won’t work with a wife) asks why you can tell her you are a part-time super hero. I have told all the women in my life this and they all believed me. I am so cool.
  9. If a woman catches you in a lie, code-red alert backup plan Z is breaking down in tears and claiming someone died. You may want to pick someone believable since women have a nasty habit of remembering everything a man says. Everything. So if Uncle Bob is suddenly resurrected at the next family reunion you never thought “she” would make it till… well you better think of a way to resurrect yourself.
  10. Claiming you are allergic to dust and cleaning products works as an excuse out of housework. It will help to perhaps faint a few times and look really ill when in the supermarket cleaning aisle as well.

-OM

Everyone needs to calm down and chive…


http://www.reddit.com/r/Feminism/comments/28xacr/10_ways_to_get_rid_of_a_feminist/

I am sending virtual hugs to the person that posted this and all those that are reading it. Virtual hugs for all!

-OM

The Daily Opinion – Most Hated Post?


Do you have a “most hated post?” My most hated post actually wasn’t the Women are crazy article. It was a daily opinion on Coke vs Pepsi and “some” bloggers hated I got tons of comments on it. “Really? He can write a dumb question about Coca-Cola and people actually respond? How stupid.”

Do you have a post that has caught some heat from other bloggers?

Don’t hate me because I am Beautiful


Don’t hate me because I am beautiful. So beautiful. I think I might even make you a little uglier. Now don’t get upset. I said uglier, not that you are ugly… just not as pretty as me. I am so pretty.

Sellout – What is the Point?


He types in the job search phrases and presses [Enter]… 35,169 choices come up.

“SEO Expert Needed! Programmer skills required.” Well… I can program my microwave does that count?

“Web marketing associate needed. Driven individuals, willing to work long hours at $22.50 an hour, and a degree in related field is required.” The sad part is… I would take this job. The reason this is sad is because I strongly feel that a job such as this is beneath my skill set, but because my skills don’t include development most companies won’t agree. They would place me on the floor with a bunch of sales associates/marketing SEO consultants and have me making cold calls all day. I would then have to give up my personal website goals. Sounds like a plan…

What is the point? I get the frustration, I share it with many of you, you are either underqualified or overqualified for something. I am underqualified for most “webpage management positions” because I am not a developer. I have some web building knowledge, online traffic management skills, and some SEO knowledge but I wouldn’t consider myself an expert in any of those fields. I also am not a professional writer so I don’t fit the bill on either the technical or artistic side of things.

Frustration and the meaning of being frustrated to me currently is centered around my future. Unsure about what to do… have you ever created something you thought was awesome and been so proud of it you didn’t want anyone else to touch it because they may then in turn claim some ownership? Even the implication that another person had a hand in the creation of HarsH ReaLiTy would probably bother me. It surely would. Pride… the hubris of man or is it instead the one thing we can confidently claim as our own.

I guess I will still keep looking, halfheartedly, since my heart is not fully into it. Would I sellout? Maybe, but that doesn’t mean I would be smiling about it. You have to have an opportunity to sellout first and that ship has yet to find my harbor.

-Opinionated Man

I Once Saw a Woman Die


I once saw a woman die. There were no clouds that parted. I looked in her eyes and saw no glimmer of understanding and even to the end that did not change. I watched for the coming of something… and saw nothing from it. Instead what I witnessed was the passing of time. And time stopped for just a moment, she turned and took that woman’s hand and they drifted away.

That was the image of death, when I once saw a woman die.

-Opinionated Man

The Face of Adoption


Jason-on-Moms-back-2-225x300

The face of adoption is not one face, one story, or one view. I hate reading adoption articles because the writer almost always pushes their views as those of “adoptees in general.” I have found that adoptees are normally courteous to each other, but at the same time we often avoid one another. It is a reminder of who we are, when we see another adoptee, and although we need not be ashamed of our lives… still we know our life is different than it was supposed to be. The face of adoption is not black, white, yellow, or any color. It can only be seen in the mirror through the eyes of the one that owns it.

Jason Cushman

-Opinionated Man

Anger


You think you know the bite of the wind? The feeling of despair as despair itself swallows you? Think that you know pain and what causes it? Is the meaning solidified in your heart? How much pain will you feel when my anger crumbles the very definition that you know? Think me afraid of wielding fire if that is what it takes to slay my foe?

Interesting…

Addict


I want or do I need?

I seek as I begin to feen.

Irritation bubbles like a cloud.

Deciding who I hate from the crowd.

I see a red mist before my eyes.

Compassion, love… it all dies.

Cheerful laughter of children does not help.

It is all about me. Myself.

I shout within, hidden behind a mirror.

One day it will shatter. Finally bringing forth the horror.

-OM

Women are Crazy (The way to lose your female readers)


This is not a relationship blog, but occasionally I will write about and share some revolutionary facts that I discover in my life. Here is one fact that I would love to write about (but not discuss) women are crazy. I would go so far as to say “most” women are crazy and the funny part is they make sense to each other. That really is the kicker, because women can understand the craziness in one another, they then do not consider themselves crazy. Impeccable logic to be sure, it is hard to debate evidence so sound.

Women pick arguments on purpose. The only time men pick arguments on purpose is if we do not like someone, we are drunk, there is a Raider’s fan in the room, or we decide to act macho in front of our woman. Men do not often argue just to argue, do you know why ladies? We are lazy and it is hard to watch Sportscenter AND drink a beer while you argue. Ok, so why is women arguing so crazy? Because of the reason they do it, women argue and pick fights with men “to test their relationship.” That is the whole “if the rubber band breaks” concept that women are working on. They obviously haven’t heard of the “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it” concept that men love.

Women ask questions that they know the answers to. Guys, they still expect an answer. And God help you if the answer is not politically and socially correct. You may want to bring a cue card with a few facts and pointers to back up your answer, though those facts will help very little if your answer is different from hers. These actions by women can also be tests; you know those random pop quizzes we hated in school, well now we get them in marriage and long term relationships. Your girlfriend or wife has just become the teacher from hell.

Women really don’t care about your opinion most the time. You know “they” say that a good conversation is good dialogue between the two participants. Whoever “they” were, “they” were obviously not talking to a woman. A woman does not want your input on a topic she has already decided upon. You are allowed a couple head nods, a few confirmation noises (to let her know you are still listening), and a really big “you are absolutely right honey” near the end. That is all that is required, or better yet necessary, to successfully navigate through a conversation with a woman. One last thing, if you even dare to talk about a subject she knows nothing about just give up, women quickly grow bored with topics that don’t interest them. Notice the way she “sighs” and glances around the room every five minutes, those are your hints.

Give up trying to keep up with your wife or girlfriend’s social drama, whether at work or with her friends. Never side with Becky, her hated arch-rival, unless Becky is going to let you sleep on her couch. Do not dare and sympathize with Helga, her dictator of a boss, or your soup might taste a bit off tonight. If your wife is on Facebook just be prepared for monthly breakdowns and breakups. I think women came up with the term “BFF” so they could have one more thing to break up with in this world. Women are crazy.

-Opinionated Man

Don’t Preach to me Feminists


Don’t preach to me feminists about what you stand for anymore. Here is an idea, go preach to your “so called group.” It is OTHER FEMINISTS that are giving you a bad name. I suggest an annual convention to really get your group’s goals down in print.

I hate arguing with feminists. All they have to say is “well you don’t get feminism.” Others will say “well those women aren’t really feminists.” At what point do WE that aren’t feminist get to say “well what makes your feminist views better than that girls over there?” All this man hate everywhere is so amusing to me. Who do you hate women? The successful man? The privileged man? The good looking men or maybe the men that just think they are good looking? Do you also hate male bunnies? I do.

When your movement gets taken over by enough fractions it is no longer valid. It is a failure. Taking the goals of the original feminists and calling it something else (how about humanism?) might be a good idea. How long before you all get tired of making excuses for the “other feminists?”

How long before the feminists that are really about equality understand that they are outnumbered by the man hating women in this world? We men have accepted their existence, is it not time you feminists did as well and addressed your internal issue? Open your eyes.

-OM

Want Views? – Pump Your Posts!


It is very hard for your article to get noticed if you simply send it out into the WordPress world and sit back and hope it gets seen. I avoid the “hope” part by actively pumping my posts before and after I publish them. This is a way to create “interest” in your article even before it hits the board. I pump my posts by pushing my blog towards groups I think will either like or hate a previous post or a future post I am about to write. I then count on timing for them to actually see the post I hope they get to read. It is from that single connection that a blogger can try to build a relationship with the reader.

Imagine WordPress as a River and not an Ocean. The river that all posts go to from bloggers on WordPress is always filling up and even more importantly those posts are being shot down a single line. The river image is perfect actually because you are counting on readers that are lining up on either side fishing for posts by tag. A blogger should keep this mental image in mind to understand how hard it is for a “random reader” to see a single post by you. The number of articles submitted each minute is astronomical and even “topic specific tags” are quickly overwhelmed.

The great thing about WordPress is that you can send a post down the river again if it is missed the first time. The frequency in which you do this will depend on you as a person, your motivation, and possibly your blogging ethic. People shouldn’t be worried about republishing old posts though because they are your articles, your work, and your words to be proud of.

I have said before that I make my own articles viral. I tested this out actually and I know it works. I was able to “pump” my original Women are Crazy article to close to 150,000 views in 3 months. That was active work done before and after the article was published. There are ways to ensure your work is seen. Whether you want to use those methods is really up to you.

-OM

Guest Post – Make Him Feel Like a Man


You wait for him to text or email. You distract yourself with TV and Facebook. You wait. And wait. Oh, forget this.

You text him.

You suggest meeting up. “Uh, I’m not sure about that weekend. I might be out with the guys that Saturday,” he answers. No problem. You’re free Sunday. Or how about Tuesday after work?

Ladies, that is the problem. You are free. Free, when he’d rather you cost him something.

Men want a distance to have to travel to reach us. On wheels or across cyberspace through words he shoots you in hope. It’s the dream of being a knight, vaguely but deeply printed in their gene code. Lady Catarina didn’t rap on Sir Beef Biceps’ door to pick him up on horseback. And it’s not just physical distance I’m talking about. If you throw up all over the poor guy your deepest longings, give away your story before their time, why would he want to expend any more energy to know more? You’ve left him nothing to wonder about. I’m not saying play games. Good golly, no. Don’t be wasting time, now. I’m encouraging you to let him cross that emotional bridge to reach your heart. To win you. Not as a trophy – but why should he be proud of something he didn’t win? And win means woo.

Men like to do the chasing.

Yes, I’m aware it’s the year 2014. Even Star Wars is old. And hold on before you jump to argue that you’re a different kind of guy and like women to be more assertive or that your relationship doesn’t fit the bill. Hats off to you. I really hope it lasts. There are exceptions to everything, and I’m obviously not talking about gay people. I don’t believe women should be helpless or frail, never assertive or responsive. I know more mixed martial arts than a lot of men and rank pretty high among vocal women. But I will lay it all down to say men get in touch with their manhood when they’re free to lead – and we with our womanhood when we are pursued. I’m not trying to resuscitate the Victorian era. The dynamic goes back even farther. It’s as simple as our biology. Men are meant to physically move toward women; we are designed to receive.

You worry you’re not attractive enough, think waiting won’t do? Do you think being aggressive will make you any more desirable? Being too easy to get will only cheapen you. Yeah, I agree a lot of men have to step up, go ask Oz for some courage. But just a little boldness will go a long way when he sees anything in you that has him wanting more. He will ford rivers, cross the country, call you again and again. When you let him feel like a man, he will be the one holding onto you.

Wayfarer on A Holistic Journey

“You speak English son?”


In a country as diverse as America you may randomly get asked this question. I suppose that is to be expected, however, there are a few instances where I find it ridiculous. The main instance is when you and I have already had a conversation and THEN you ask me if I can speak English. “No Sir I can’t, I was really just nodding my head to the rhythm of your words…

It was a Saturday night and the wife and I had decided to go to Blackhawk, CO to play at the Indian casinos. We had an amazing time, namely because my wife was extremely lucky that day and hit two large jackpots on slot machines. We of course had a shot of patron for each win, but because I was driving I withheld the urge to have more beverages to celebrate. We stayed a few hours at the casino, more than enough time for me to process twice as much alcohol as I had, but we still made our way carefully down the mountain back towards Denver. The road can be remarkably dangerous and I knew this first hand having hit a deer in my brand new Eclipse a couple years earlier. Apparently deer have no regard for their own personal safety or the image of my baby car which I still mourn to this day.

As we made our way towards the one gas station located a few miles outside of Blackhawk I began to see red and blue lights ahead. I immediately thought it was either an accident or a DUI checkpoint, and sure enough the police were standing in the middle of the road conducting DUI “interviews” on passing cars. I say “interviews” here because the cops were actively talking to each driver and sending the ones they “suspected” of being under the influence to the dirt parking lot nearby. It was my lucky night.

Sir have you had anything to drink tonight?” the cop asked me.

I had a couple drinks three hours ago,” I answered honestly. I could actually feel the nervousness from my wife.

A second cop approached from the passenger side and shined his flashlight at me. The first officer placed his hand on his gun and said “I am going to need you to pull over so we can do a quick sobriety test.” He made it apparent this was not a request. “Please pull over slowly to the right and don’t allow your car to break contact from my hand” he said with what I imagine he thought was a stern demeanor.

I pulled slowly over, very slowly, and ensured his grip of authority never lost contact with my vehicle. I was a little nervous, not because of the possibility of blowing over the limit, but because both the cops were white and I have a large suspicion about law enforcement in general. Namely that I think police are worthless for the most part, at least in many of the cities I have lived in, and they seem more gauged at causing trouble for the law abiding citizens than the criminals. Once I had parked my car the cops motioned for me to get out of the vehicle.

The police explained to me that they had pulled me out because they smelled alcohol on my breath. I thought “bullshit” because I had only had two shots and after those I had eaten and drank non-alcoholic drinks. There is absolutely no way he smelled anything but my Febreze air freshener. I was very confident because I knew I was fine to drive and that these cops were just looking for a criminal if they could find one. We spoke for a few minutes in which I explained why we were in the mountains, because apparently Asians don’t travel into the mountains at night because they melt from the high altitude, and then he dropped the question on me.

Before we begin I need to ask if you speak good enough English to talk to me. Do you need a personal translator?

I had a hard time biting back my retort which would have thrown me in jail. The deciding factor was his partner who still had not taken his hand off his gun. Overaggressive policemen are not hard to find and they frequent Youtube these days on viral video after video. I wasn’t about to be the next “when police attack video” that got a million hits, it wasn’t worth sacrificing the beauty of my face just for a viral video. But seriously where does a guy get off asking me if I speak fucking English when we just spoke for several minutes and my vocabulary obviously exceeds your own?

We began the test and let me point out that giving ANYONE a DUI test on a gravel parking lot is complete bullshit. I have trouble enough walking a straight line in the street, add some rocks and I definitely wasn’t looking very coordinated. I am a part-time ninja, but I can’t do shit without my ninja outfit. The issue arose when we began the ABC test which consisted of me saying the alphabet backwards. Now I don’t know about the rest of you, maybe I am just a dumbass, but I have never practiced saying the ABCs backwards. Why would anyone learn to do that? I was about two vowels away from getting tackled before I made it through finally. It wasn’t pretty, but I suppose I could have simply said “I guess I really don’t know English…”

So what ends up happening? After all five tests, YES FIVE TESTS, were done the idiot ends up giving me a Breathalyzer test and guess what this non-English speaking Korean blew? 0.00, that is what. I refrained from giving the cops any sign language as we drove off and I am surprised they didn’t chase after me for “accelerating too fast.” What can I say? Cops love me.

-OM

Reference – A Whole Heap of Gratitude for You Dude


Opinionated Man:

Thank you for the great referral post! I really appreciate you taking the time! -OM
Note: Comments disabled here, please comment on their post.

Originally posted on 20/20 Hines Sight:

This is also part of the of the Blogging A to Z Challenge and yepper today’s Letter is ‘G’. This post is about Gratitudeand I have a bunch of it to give.

Very rarely do I have an opportunity and/or a need to express my gratitude toward someone, especially a stranger. But not really a stranger. A fellow blogger Opinionate Man (OM) over at HarsH ReaLiTy is offering to help fellow bloggers build their blogging audience. I didn’t jump on the offer. However when I did seek his help, I was pleasantly surprised.

OM took great care in finding bloggers, I would follow myself. I was excited to start reading posts from my new followers and literally spent the weekend reading their blogs (not doing homework) and the more I read the more excited I got because it was as though he was in my head. I have a wide range of interests and he honed right in…

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7 Reasons Why Men Watch Porn


1. Women are always saying “get in touch with yourself and get in touch with your feelings.” I believe watching porn accomplishes both of those feats in one blow.

2. Men don’t talk about sexual positions much, except for that ONE FRIEND that acts like the God of All Men and won’t shut the hell up about all his “conquests.” If you are that guy take a hint finally, SHUT THE HELL UP! Because men don’t want to show a “lack of knowledge in certain areas” we turn to porn to learn what we don’t know, and to raise our expectations to a surreal level. Show me a guy that will go to the customer service desk at Barnes and Noble and ask “excuse me can you point me to the books on sexual advice?” I give you ten to one odds you get laughed at if the worker is a male.

3. Because books and pictures lie. Porn is as real as World Wrestling Entertainment.

4. It was an accident. I meant to type in Google.

5. You can get in LESS trouble watching porn than with a Facebook account.

6. Because porn will never break up or dump you. It is always loyal and always there.

7. We watch it for the plot just like we read Playboys for the articles.

-Opinionated Man

10 Reasons Men Hate Your BFF!


  1. We dated them as well and you never let us forget it.
  2. Cindy has a habit of leaving you at the bar on Friday nights and you in turn have the habit of forgiving her come Saturday morning. It is like the twilight zone…
  3. Because we are married, Sally feels the need to make snide comments about married couples as if we aren’t right in front of her. Sally also has been single and can’t keep a man for the past ten years… so maybe she should tell less jokes and do some self-reflection.
  4. Your stupid ass friend calls in the middle of the night because of dating drama… and we are all over 30 years old!!! GROW THE HELL UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  5. Sharon calls every Wednesday for “Girls Night Out!” We aren’t in college anymore Sharon and besides your best friend is married with kids! Buy a vowel and get a clue!
  6. You are the “Oh yea… you are married…” friend. Yes, and we have been married for over 6 years. Hasn’t changed. Need a pen and paper?
  7. Your BFF is hot. That shit is just uncomfortable… get uglier friends please.
  8. Your BFF is dating an asshole or is married to a jackrabbit. Bets are off the table if this happens, if I couldn’t stand your friend in the first place why in the world would adding an asshole to the picture change my mind?
  9. Your BFF is the “perfect wife and mother” and loves to give you hell about it. Why do women have friends like that? Aren’t there other women out there that you can hang out with? I hear often from women that “well I have known her FOREVER!” Ok… was she an asshole FOREVER as well?
  10. The “I have a cause” BFF. We get it, we saw your Facebook, you REALLY care about those damn whales. Great, good for you! You don’t have to start chanting and protesting just because I am eating sushi. I swear to you this fish wants to be eaten.

-OM

Hoping to Die


There was a time in my life when the land was covered in darkness. It did not matter what time of the day it was, there was simply no light. I walked the world a ghost and prayed to any god that would listen that he or she would simply end it for me. I wanted to die. I wrote the below poem in remembrance of that time of weakness.

And there they lay. The tools of the day. A razor, a pile of pills, and a bottle of Tanqueray.

I have stared in the mirror for hours. All have gone to bed. With each tear has come resolve. We may as well end it all. I hate you. With a hand I gulp the pills, the bottle is already near. I gulp death’s companion. And to the left are the backup dancers.

A letter to someone… I hope… anyone?

Never there is a reply. I say this aloud now as the razor cuts once, twice, thrice… and as the ice cold water washes away my sight. I feel life fleeing from my nearing empty vessel. And suddenly a wrongness, a surrender of an opportunity? I do not know.

And as the light flees the coming darkness, all I can do is embrace the growing warmth.

People fail to realize that there is depression and there is suicidal. To me suicidal is the point you reach when you just don’t care. You could give a shit less about heaven or hell, they are one and the same because your life has become a living hell. It doesn’t matter how many “do gooders” speak soft words in your direction, you only see darkness.

I remember well that time still to this day. The feeling of that night, sitting online and telling a few “close online friends” that I just didn’t care. That it was time to see what the next page brought. I remember a feeling of finality when I shut down my mother’s computer. My steps were almost light as I walked slowly upstairs. Neither asleep, nor really awake… I walked like a man in a daze to my bathroom. I starred at myself in the mirror for what seems like hours and in those precious minutes I decided I was ready to die. I made that choice. I took those pills and I drank that bottle to the head and I remember smiling. Because finally I didn’t feel so cold anymore. The warmth of death was my friend that night and I was ready to receive him.

It changes you… that type of experience. It is nothing to brag about and many might feel ashamed of that type of weakness. To feel ashamed of being human is a shame in itself. I was human that night, but I am lucky my humanity failed to die.

-Opinionated Man