Authors – Stop Bitching!


I am sick of seeing authors bitching about self-publishing and the influx of indie writers. I do not consider myself an indie writer since I have not published a novel, so I am not personally offended. It is very lame though to blame others for your failures.

“The writing scene has changed so much. So many garbage writers… a real author can’t even get noticed anymore!” That is your own fault for being lazy and for thinking “my writing is so good people will just come to me.” Those days are over, sorry they just are, and now writers must do something they have never been “forced” to do. They are now required to ENGAGE THEIR READERS to keep them! Oh the horror! We apologize that we now force you to show a little personality to solidify our loyalty.

I read a lot of posts by authors and even indie authors complaining about having to promote themselves. “I just want to write” is often said, but what they really mean is “I just want to go viral, make a lot of sales, and not have to do anything…” It doesn’t work that way, but you can keep sitting there watching the door for the visitors you are so sure will show up! They aren’t coming though, why should they you aren’t offering them any reason to read your website!

The bottom line really is that we all realize the writing scene has changed from back in the 90s. Stop writing about it and definitely stop bitching about it. Instead try networking and working for sells like everyone else has to. Break the mold and always be in the “audience gathering” mindset if you are serious about making money off your book. If you aren’t in the business of… business, then just do your thing, but don’t complain about it when no one buys your novel. To complain is not really the issue, to blame others for your failure is the handicap I see many authors missing.

-OM

Blogging Lesson 269 – Opening Dialogue


I am not special. It should be apparent by now that I have some experience with open forums and interaction. Quick interaction, that is the key actually. I have indeed created countless forums and hosted many open dialogue formats that held several hundred people at a time. It was fun, tiring, and easy. They were for online games.

When I say “that is easy” people get their back up. I say “blogging is easy” or I will state “writing a book is easy” when I have never written one. Selling a book is easy though. I have written enough words this past year to have equaled four or five novels, but who is to say that the book would have been any good? Ah… but there is the hook that people are missing. Writers that want their books sold take an easy lesson. My website got seen over 500,000 times last year. That doesn’t include my own clicks, in case anyone was wondering, so that is at least one very active human being that looked at my website 500,000 times. I will sell a book to that one human. Now if you give me the benefit of the doubt and let’s just say you give me 500 new visitors a day… well I am bad at math, but I would imagine that equals to roughly a lot more human eyes then would EVER see my book on amazon.com. Actually I will go one further. Let us just imagine my book made it into the glorious rows of an actual bookstore. Still, what are the chances I get a spot on that front row or even near a row…. And not the bathroom. That equals sells. It can’t but equal anything else.

My point in this rambling post, yea I got sidetracked a little, is that I use my website for my own reasons. But potential authors should look at their websites/blog/whatever you want to call it as your fingerprint on the internet and as your business card.

I read some posts and have been asked how to open dialogue on a website. What is the secret? Well I never took journalism classes or many courses in English period, I graded out of my requirements in HS, but I do have around 10 years’ experience in open dialogue. Wouldn’t that be fun to explain?

I got this question when I told someone I am a “web builder” there is always “so you do coding?” No… “So you do consulting and SEO work?” No…. “So you do… what?” …I am a writer I guess…

I claim at this point I am a blogger, web builder, and now I am adding open dialogue manager. Damn those sound good don’t they? My resume is about to kickass, so if you see these three items on a future resume… that is me. No I have not been drinking.

It is simple. To open dialogue try not saying everything there is to know about the topic. I read these well scripted, long as hell posts that are full of reference links, pictures, and expert quotations. By the end of the 3000 word post you either have forgotten your question or you are just overwhelmed. Take for instance this post, I keep taking rabbit trails so it is actually almost 100 words over what I normally write. I generally try to stick to 350, but I also don’t have much to say. I am not interesting. I hate myself now. What was this post for again…

-OM

10 Reasons People Hate Me


  1. I don’t recycle. I just don’t… and I really could care less about the animals in the ocean. In fact it might be safer without them.
  2. People handing out advertisements or Girl Scout Cookies will sometimes receive what they think is “Korean” back. I actually don’t speak Korean… but it has sounded believable for 20 years.
  3. Sometimes I pretend to be asleep so people will go away. It is amazing how quickly a person will become bored with you if you are audibly snoring.
  4. I don’t move over for bikers of any kind and I don’t consider your oversized toy a car. This will probably never change.
  5. If you ask me my nationality I will many times tell you a random Asian country. It is because I am an asshole.
  6. I mumble a lot and then play it off by staring into space. When you stare into space people get uncomfortable and generally leave you alone…
  7. I will purposefully stop traffic to give to a homeless person if I see tons of cars pass them. Yes this is “reactive charity” but it is also the point of being bothered by the coldness of society.
  8. I don’t speak Spanish and never plan to. I also don’t think a person should have to speak Spanish to live in America. If everyone isn’t required to speak Korean (which wouldn’t make a bad law) then there should be no similar requirement for ANY language other than English in this great nation.
  9. I never say “Bless You” when someone sneezes. The silence is sometimes audible after such an occurrence… as if god is waiting for me to say it. I will, however, sometimes say “Devil Be Gone” and splash fake holy water on them.
  10. I don’t do “ice breakers.” To me an ice breaker is a single glass of Macallan 25 and ZERO human contact.

-OM

Why you are Alone on Valentine’s Day!


You think all men are pigs. Well show me a pig that can pick out a Hallmark card, pay for it, sign it, and buy chocolate without eating it and I will agree with you! Otherwise… you are just picky and alone.

You measure men against characters from movies. Look we get it, those men in TV shows and popular movies are suave and slick as hell. They also had twenty men AND women write their lines for them. If I had a committee that filtered every word before it came out of my mouth I might just be perfect as well.

You keep trying to meet guys at the club. I will never understand why women choose to get involved with men that are obviously “players” and then get shocked and upset when they get cheated on. You know who won’t cheat on you? The chess club president that is who. I don’t think a chess club president has ever cheated on a girlfriend in the history of chess!

You hated every boyfriend in the past… and you tell every new boyfriend about it. Yes, unfortunately there are some assholes in the world and you just might have dated some of them! I didn’t come on this date to hear about Richard, Bobby, and Joey ok? If you are alone and you have the habit of ranting about Ex-BFs… maybe a time of self-reflection is required.

You look like a runway model every day. This one might be confusing because what guy wouldn’t want to date a model? Sounds like a lot of drama, I mean fun, but I do feel the need to clarify to women that if you step out of your door every day looking like a fashion model… most “average guys” won’t dare to speak to you. All we see is dollar signs walking around in high heels that none of us can afford to buy you.

You hate flowers, you hate chocolate, and you hate bunnies and you hate… If you hate “everything” or are the type that says you “hate everything” I just won’t try. Why waste my time and money? YOU HATE EVERYTHING!

You LOVE Valentine’s Day. Bahumbug… I hate this holiday. I think many men do too, which is why in the Guycode Book it states “that unless you are married or in a serious relationship you should break all non-important social agreements till after gift buying season is over.” See page 69.

-Opinionated Man