HarsH ReaLiTy – Everywhere and Nowhere

It is my goal on social media to be everywhere and nowhere. A tornado of presence that comes and just “is,” and then is not…

I have had people ask me why I created this website. I have read the speculation and theories as to why I blog. I think only a few people really “get” what I am trying to do… what I am doing here every day. That is ok our minds aren’t meant to be understood by the masses.

I have read many titles about how “blogging isn’t a game” and “blogging isn’t a game of numbers.” I laugh at these posts because to me blogging is a game. It is a game of numbers. It always has been and continues to be for me. The difference between myself and other bloggers is I don’t consider “writing” blogging. Writing is merely one form of blogging and the separation of the two is important to me. Very important.

Writing is a continuous effort and something I hope to be good at one day. I work towards a perfect wordstring daily, it is my ultimate grail. Blogging is not my writing. Blogging is every little thing I do besides the writing on my blog.

HarsH ReaLiTy is Dead.

In many regards HR died months ago. I still kick the can around on this website, but due to changing rules and regulations my blog is only beating the depreciation value. In all respects WordPress successfully killed this blog. I am ok with that and honestly, it was bound to happen sooner or later. This blog simply didn’t gain popularity in the acceptable way. I also didn’t grovel and beg like I was supposed to do apparently.

I am still here pumping my blog and working on it daily. It is really just habit at this point. Without my blog I would have so much free time I would go crazy. Who wants to see that? I know I wouldn’t…



Gambling, Bad Decisions, a Deer, and an Unfortunate Eclipse

“Four Kings,” the man said with a sneer in my direction as he immediately began to greedily scoop up the numerous poker chips in front of him.

Motherfucker…” I mumbled as I reluctantly got up from the poker table. A small Asian man scurried over to quickly take my seat before my second ass cheek was even out of the chair.

Another motherfucker. Can I get out of my seat first? Jesus!” I exclaimed as I accompanied my bad mood out of the poker room of Ameristar Casino in Blackhawk, CO. I stood for a second and contemplated my next decision for what seemed like hours. It was really mere minutes before I began the inevitable walk towards the ATM machine. I really hated the cash machines in Blackhawk because they always charged you out the ass for withdrawing money. My bank would then charge a second fee for using an ATM that wasn’t theirs.

I slide my card in with practiced ease. Putting in my security code quickly I skipped the main menu and went directly to fast cash. I pressed the $200 button and impatiently waited for the machine to spit out my cash. Instead I got an error of “Insufficient Funds!” flashing across the screen. I quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed and was relieved no one had. I canceled and pressed the $100 button quickly and recalculated how much I would “have to win” to break even for the night. I was interrupted mid thought by the “Insufficient Funds” flashing again across the screen.

MOTHERFUCKER!” I audibly said furiously as I snatched my card from the machine and headed towards the escalator. It felt like I had just lost twice. As I got to my car my mood slowly began to evolve again, as it normally does. I realized it was just “fate” and fate wanted me to leave for some reason. I listened to her and jumped into my Mitsubishi Eclipse and peeled out of the parking garage. By the time I had left the casino strip I was feeling good again.

I began considering my on again, off again relationship with See as my car winded down the mountain road. I was caught up in “what ifs” when suddenly a mountain deer from Hades jumped over the median and nonchalantly waited for me to kill it.

MOVE OUT OF THE WAY YOU STUPID MOTHERFUUUU…” I tried to yell as my car ran into the deer and broke both of its right legs. I heard a sickening crunch and then a loud BANG as the deer flopped onto the hood of my car denting it badly. My car came to a screeching halt and I looked around quickly to see if any cars were coming from behind me. None were and I breathed a relieved sigh as I watched the deer pathetically limp away into the dark. My hands were shaking and I felt like I had run five miles.

“Motherfucker…” I said to myself one more time before beginning to drive my poor eclipse home to Wyoming.

-Opinionated Man


Wishing upon Dandelions

I wish on rays from stars.

Or are they dandelions in the night.

Weighted down by leashes from human dreams.

Struggling under the weight of humanity.

Still they soar upon currents of wishes.

Dreams that seem, of you and I.

Some wish upon a star so far.

Others are more grounded, from this world.

They wish upon dandelions in the sky.



Painting by my wife. SVC

Blogging – Posting Ingredients

There are basic ingredients for most of my blog posts.

We start with your basic cup of coffee which generally needs to simply taste “fresh.” I am Korean and not a sailor, so I like mine with creamer and sugar. I mix my coffee with an ounce CBGls16ozMsrngCpS14 of the moment, whether that moment is irritation, amusement, happiness, or sadness. The coffee and emotional inspiration makes my magic fingers fingers sprint across the keyboard. Like a train wreck at this point there really is no stopping the inevitable. Most people normally sit back for the ride.

I use 1,000,000 annoying voices found here at untitled to prompt me if I can’t think of a post idea. Out of 1,000,000 bloggers I can normally find at least one

to write on. Once I write my post I publish immediately and normally enjoy a photoCABPR895 while waiting for hateful comments which I read here photo on my iphone.

<Repeat cycle daily as desired.>




I feel like quitting this blog every week.

I feel like quitting this blog every week. It is a lot of work, I don’t get paid for it, and I am chasing a dream that only I truly believe in. That only I understand.

I get the frustrations from other bloggers and most of my posts are meant as “pushes” to motivate those readers that care to read them. I get discourged easily, as one susceptible to depression I feed off “moments” to push me to the next moment. It is a very human condition and I envy bloggers that continue to push themselves even when they receive little support. I could not imagine still blogging, even for as short as this website has been born, without some type of external motivation. As much as people assume I gain “so much support” from the WordPress community, in truth it is mostly fluff and means nothing. The only person that truly supports my efforts are myself.

My blogging goals are what keep me pushing through to the next day. Without goal marks or expectations I would have grown bored with this platform. I love that I directly impact my numbers and it is the largest thrill for me to see that manipulation directly happen. It is my encouragement and motivation all rolled into one. You will find though that other people won’t understand your goals. They won’t understand your dream and even when you provide proof of accomplishment they will gloss over it. You will have to decide whose opinion means more in these instances.

When I disappear for more than 24 hours it is normally due to me challenging myself not to post, not to respond to comments, and to shut myself completely off. It is near impossible to do and every electronic device I own has some type of connection to my blog. I am always listening to the pulse of my website and that is what helps me to create such a “presence.” It is very hard to deactivate that mentality.

It can become discouraging when you read derogatory posts about your blog, methods of blogging, or even about you in general. That is what you accept upon yourself when you become an audience writer OR powerblogger. I accept that and this is not a whine. Still… it can get old reading the attacks and lies being spread about you. How easy it can be to label someone the enemy.

If you are serious about writing for an audience I wish you the best with it. It can be gratifying, exciting, and completely frustrating. Find a balance and understand that you will go through some of the same growing pains that the rest of us go through. I feel like quitting every week, but I don’t because I won’t allow anyone to push me away from doing something I enjoy.

Screw them, I will keep doing me.

-Opinionated Man