“I’ll cry if I want to”


I find it funny that people take the time to comment on MY blog and tell me to stop whining. Is it because I have a large subscriber number that I am not allowed to rant and complain in my space? I love when people tell me to stop whining because it shows they really care. Why not offer me a virtual hug instead? It makes people sick to see supportive comments as well. That is probably why my “audience” have been called everything from “legion of goons” to the “hate crowd.” Those are true quotes by the way… not to mention my following of “worshipers.” Bloggers come up with the funniest shit to say to me sometimes.

-OM

Business Casual and the Flaw of Khaki Pants


So this week it is business casual, which means you can’t wear jeans to work even if you work the swing shift/overnight like I do. I normally choose to wear khaki pants which come with their own set of troubles. Any man will tell you that bathroom breaks take a little longer when you wear khakis because no one wants to be that guy making the dreaded walk to his desk with water spots. Of course your manager intercepts you on the way and asks you a dozen questions, all the while you can feel every eye in the hallway staring at your crotch. I told my wife about this predicament and she said “wait, you mean you don’t pull your pants all the way down?”

Where have you been the last five years?

-OM

10 Reasons People Hate Me


  1. I don’t recycle. I just don’t… and I really could care less about the animals in the ocean. In fact it might be safer without them.
  2. People handing out advertisements or Girl Scout Cookies will sometimes receive what they think is “Korean” back. I actually don’t speak Korean… but it has sounded believable for 20 years.
  3. Sometimes I pretend to be asleep so people will go away. It is amazing how quickly a person will become bored with you if you are audibly snoring.
  4. I don’t move over for bikers of any kind and I don’t consider your oversized toy a car. This will probably never change.
  5. If you ask me my nationality I will many times tell you a random Asian country. It is because I am an asshole.
  6. I mumble a lot and then play it off by staring into space. When you stare into space people get uncomfortable and generally leave you alone…
  7. I will purposefully stop traffic to give to a homeless person if I see tons of cars pass them. Yes this is “reactive charity” but it is also the point of being bothered by the coldness of society.
  8. I don’t speak Spanish and never plan to. I also don’t think a person should have to speak Spanish to live in America. If everyone isn’t required to speak Korean (which wouldn’t make a bad law) then there should be no similar requirement for ANY language other than English in this great nation.
  9. I never say “Bless You” when someone sneezes. The silence is sometimes audible after such an occurrence… as if god is waiting for me to say it. I will, however, sometimes say “Devil Be Gone” and splash fake holy water on them.
  10. I don’t do “ice breakers.” To me an ice breaker is a single glass of Macallan 25 and ZERO human contact.

-OM

Want Views? – Pump Your Posts!


It is very hard for your article to get noticed if you simply send it out into the WordPress world and sit back and hope it gets seen. I avoid the “hope” part by actively pumping my posts before and after I publish them. This is a way to create “interest” in your article even before it hits the board. I pump my posts by pushing my blog towards groups I think will either like or hate a previous post or a future post I am about to write. I then count on timing for them to actually see the post I hope they get to read. It is from that single connection that a blogger can try to build a relationship with the reader.

Imagine WordPress as a River and not an Ocean. The river that all posts go to from bloggers on WordPress is always filling up and even more importantly those posts are being shot down a single line. The river image is perfect actually because you are counting on readers that are lining up on either side fishing for posts by tag. A blogger should keep this mental image in mind to understand how hard it is for a “random reader” to see a single post by you. The number of articles submitted each minute is astronomical and even “topic specific tags” are quickly overwhelmed.

The great thing about WordPress is that you can send a post down the river again if it is missed the first time. The frequency in which you do this will depend on you as a person, your motivation, and possibly your blogging ethic. People shouldn’t be worried about republishing old posts though because they are your articles, your work, and your words to be proud of.

I have said before that I make my own articles viral. I tested this out actually and I know it works. I was able to “pump” my original Women are Crazy article to close to 150,000 views in 3 months. That was active work done before and after the article was published. There are ways to ensure your work is seen. Whether you want to use those methods is really up to you.

-OM

You Need “Thicker Skin”


We hear this often when we enter into social media, but the reality of it doesn’t always register for most. That is because most people don’t encounter that much abuse online. Oh sure, you will get the occasional troll or “outrageous” comment directed to you on your blog or in the comment section of a website. These encounters though are usually mild or “as dramatic as you wish them to be.” Some people actually like drama.

In 32 years I have never had this amount of attention focused on me or my writing. It can be exciting, daunting, frustrating, and an adventure all rolled into one. I have found that I sympathize with celebrities and public personalities more and more. I place no lofty airs around my persona, but I have also read more hateful words directed towards me in 15 months than most of the previous years of my life. This is not a complaint, simply a reflection of fact, but it shows why I can understand how celebrities get fed up easily. I brought that attention on myself when I decided to write my thoughts in an unfiltered manner.

You need “thicker skin” if you wish to truly place yourself out on social media. When I mean “yourself” I really mean all of you, documenting your life and thoughts on issues is not something to take lightly. The world looks for the next person to persecute and who better for any angry mob to pick than one that actually speaks their mind freely? That is the REAL danger of social media and why people must be careful about what they say or at the very least they should have the balls to back it up. If you aren’t prepared to defend your view don’t put it out on the internet.

-OM