Guest Post – Drugs: Is We For Em, or Agin Em?

Allow me to start this article with a little disclaimer: I do not recommend, suggest use of, or otherwise support the use of drugs. Even your local Doctor cannot guarantee that drugs prescribed by him will not kill you, so why would anyone support their usage?
Are you aware that prescribed drugs kill more people per year than illegal drugs?
This is true. Doctor prescribed medications are responsible for more deaths and addictions than illegal drugs. This is not to say that many doctor prescribed drugs have not proved beneficial to the patients served. Prescribed drugs in the hands of children not intended for attribute to an alarming rate of addictions and other issues involving children, including death.

Are you aware that about 70 billion dollars per year are spent from our tax dollars on the War On Drugs?
70 billion dollars is a lot of money. How is it spent? Who is it paid to? Is the money serving it’s intended purpose? The War On Drugs has failed to achieve any true success, why do we keep doing the same thing, year after year, for over 40 years now?

Are you also aware that the War On Drugs has not proved itself in any way a benefit to any country involved?
Drug Cartels and Street Gangs are the only beneficiary of the War On Drugs. Cartels and Gangs are the direct result of the War On Drugs.

Do you know how many young adults lives have been ruined due to our prohibition of drugs?
In our attempt to curb drug usage in America, we have created victims out of our own young that likely would have matured to become valued members of their community and some may have become even more had they not have been caught up in the laws that reduced their contribution to society to that of a convicted felon.

How many people have lost their right to vote due to the prohibition of drugs?
When you consider the impact of Black people prosecuted for drug related offenses vs. white people for the same offenses, our prohibition of drugs may have been instrumental in determining voting during the past 40 years, allowing our political structure to have become not the making of the voter, but by those manipulating who could or could not vote.

Have you ever wondered how many deaths can be attributed to the prohibition of drugs in America?
There have been many people killed by police, many police killed by people, and many innocent people caught in the middle due to our prohibition of drugs. Do you realize that America is responsible for the deaths of people along our southern borders due to drug cartel violence. It is our prohibition of drugs that creates the incidents causing the deaths. Nobody is getting killed down there because they want drugs. They are getting killed because we want drugs.

Have you considered how much commerce is generated “tax free” from sales of drugs in America?
The illegal drug trade produces about 420 billion dollars in sales per year. That is a lot of unpaid taxation. Why are we allowing Criminals to profit from the sale of drugs, plus not have to pay a penny in taxes while we work our selves damn near to death to reach poverty level, and still have to pay taxes?

Do you really think if drugs were made legal in America today, that everybody in America would become drug addicts?
It is doubtful that drug usage and/or users will dramatically increase. Prohibition makes it cool to do drugs. Prohibition is more responsible for drug addiction based on the “cool” factor alone. Legalization would easily make drug usage less cool.

Do you understand that for over 40 years America has fought the War On Drugs, the same way, over and over again with no positive result?
After 40 years of making the same damn mistake, isn’t it time that we take a different approach to how to handle drugs in America?

While I do not support drug usage in any shape, form, or fashion . . . I support criminals getting rich while we spend billions of dollars allowing them to do so, even less. Prohibition has never worked in America. So why are we allowing prohibition to control our nation. Legalize, Tax, and Educate may be the most beneficial acts for the future of America. Consider it!

Guest Post – In house models

வணக்கம் (that’s Hello in Tamil and pronounced ‘Vanakkam’). This is KG (a pseudonym) here from the southern parts of India. And before I say anything else, I am so glad (and slightly nervous) to be a guest author here at HarsH ReaLiTy. Thank you OM.

I dabble a bit in Photography as my hobby (apart from reading a ton of books and listening to music all day through) and as a way to record my travels too. I blog at Books, Music, Photography & Movies , where I pen my views on all of said things and some more and also at Memoirs of my Travels , where I try and chronicle my travel to various places I have had the pleasure of visiting. As part of my guest posts, I will try to show you some part of my land through my photographs. Hope you enjoy the short journey with me as much as I do.

As part of the first guest post I would like to introduce you to my models that help me in my photography within the confines of my home. Ever since I have started to play with my DSLR I found the idols I own to be amazing models. I also like to play with the light (or lack of it) and how I can make them (idols) look all mysterious with my photographs. So without further delay, here are some of my photographs of them.

I would like to introduce you to Annapurna Devi, the god of food and nourishment, holding an utensil used to serve food.


And this is Vishnu, who is deemed the protector and is the Supreme God of Vaishanvism.


I always enjoy working with them. They are my silent supporters in more ways than one.


Just stay on your own damn blog

If you are in the habit of writing rants about me and my website, but then you still visit it… you are pathetic. Just stay on your own damn blog ok? Don’t like me? Fine. Nothing here for you. Move your ass along. I am so tired of people blasting my website and then coming here for free advice and community. This community isn’t for you, it is for bloggers that actually enjoy being here.

Some of you make me want to turn this site private or into a fully paid website I swear.


Want Views? – Pump Your Posts!

It is very hard for your article to get noticed if you simply send it out into the WordPress world and sit back and hope it gets seen. I avoid the “hope” part by actively pumping my posts before and after I publish them. This is a way to create “interest” in your article even before it hits the board. I pump my posts by pushing my blog towards groups I think will either like or hate a previous post or a future post I am about to write. I then count on timing for them to actually see the post I hope they get to read. It is from that single connection that a blogger can try to build a relationship with the reader.

Imagine WordPress as a River and not an Ocean. The river that all posts go to from bloggers on WordPress is always filling up and even more importantly those posts are being shot down a single line. The river image is perfect actually because you are counting on readers that are lining up on either side fishing for posts by tag. A blogger should keep this mental image in mind to understand how hard it is for a “random reader” to see a single post by you. The number of articles submitted each minute is astronomical and even “topic specific tags” are quickly overwhelmed.

The great thing about WordPress is that you can send a post down the river again if it is missed the first time. The frequency in which you do this will depend on you as a person, your motivation, and possibly your blogging ethic. People shouldn’t be worried about republishing old posts though because they are your articles, your work, and your words to be proud of.

I have said before that I make my own articles viral. I tested this out actually and I know it works. I was able to “pump” my original Women are Crazy article to close to 150,000 views in 3 months. That was active work done before and after the article was published. There are ways to ensure your work is seen. Whether you want to use those methods is really up to you.


Bloggers are Lazy

There are so many lazy people in this world that want things handed to them. That is probably why around the middle of the year you will see a ton of blogs go inactive. The fame didn’t come fast enough. They didn’t get Freshly Pressed. They still can’t figure out what the hell SEO means and is good for. Or they aren’t reaching the “audience” they know is there.

I get a lot of emails and I am more than happy to help where I can. I absolutely hate the question “how do I reach a larger audience” because it shows that people are lazy. I have a link RIGHT HERE  and I hope people find these articles useful. The thing that annoys me though is when people ask me for tips, but won’t bother to read the articles I have meticulously written out. If you want to pay me money to teach you that is fine, I could always use the money, but I firmly believe if you read these articles I have already presented they will give you the game plan you need to grow.

I know I have said “email me whenever.” Let me edit that statement, only email me if you are truly serious about blogging and growing your blog WITH work. Otherwise if you are seeking a way to go viral email someone else.

I don’t have a damn clue about that.


Thanks For the Email!

Thanks for the email! Shame you deleted your account so I couldn’t respond. That is rather lame… I have such funny trolls. -OM

I would like to point out I have never bad mouthed anyone by name that didn’t call me out first. Grow up people.



Kickstarter <>

5:51 AM (2 hours ago)

to me
jake nevermind says:

Why would anyone not only pay you $50,000 but support a blog which has continuously bad mouthed other bloggers and made references as to who should and shouldn’t be writing all in the name of you wanting to quit your day job? If you can’t earn enough money on your own to quit your job, why should anyone else support your finances. What happens when the 50g’s run out? Posting this kick-starter campaign just made you look even more silly.

Reply to this email to respond or view this message on Kickstarter

10 Things I Hate About You

You stand far too close to me. Are you standing this close because you heard rubbing against an Asian is good luck?

You pop your gum constantly… for hours on end. It causes me to want to climb a wall OR to go over and hit you on the back causing you to spit the gum on the floor. I would then jump up and down on that gum with petulant glee screaming “you done popping yet? ARE YOU???”

I hate how you have a new movement each week. One day you are walking around in a whale outfit and the next you are laying down in front of my SUV while I am trying to drive away saying “I am murdering the ozone.” I can’t keep up with you!

I hate how you count how many drinks I have had. I am keeping count just fine myself. I put the tops in my pocket. Let’s see I have five… ten… more than a few here apparently…

I hate how you suck the fun out of things. You don’t even need to wave a wand you seem to just absorb the fun in the room. I bet if you bumped into a clown you would kill him by contact.

I hate that you are from a different country and think that you know how “America is” because you have visited here once. I have lived here for 30 years and I still don’t understand this batshit country.

I hate that you have a sign that says “Pro-Choice, Abortion Rights” in one hand and in the other you have “Save the Dolphins.” Fuck the dolphins.

I hate people telling me not to say the word “hate.” I love saying hate because everything else is not worth mentioning.

I hate your perfect sentence because I didn’t write it.

I hate people that are famous for being famous. Naming no names here, but it makes me jealous as hell.


Those Things People Say


“You should look for miracles, not try to create them.” I have found humans are often wrong so at some point in life I decided to try and create miracles… not look for them. Walking on water has been unsuccessful, but I am making great strides in turning water into wine.

“Better late than never!” Uh… actually how about no. How about “better on time than late” asshole! I swear “being on time” is a lost art and somewhere along the way kids stopped learning the importance. I absolutely hate being late and it wasn’t only because in the military “if you are on time you are late.” My parents always had us ready early and we learned that behavior from them… imagine that. You mean if a parent teaches their kid something they learn it? Unreal. Get out.

“I knew someone once.” This means you are about to tell me a secondhand story that is not about you or really anyone important. You simply feel the need to talk OR it is really funny. It had better be hilarious. I am listening…

“Just any old thing.” People that say this are almost always the most picky humans in the world and when you get “that any old thing” wrong, your ass is grass.

“They are book smart.” We are basically saying you are intelligent, can read and write, but that you might not have the most common sense known to man. In fact you might be a danger to those around you.

*When you use “what not” or “exactly” as a period. I want to hit you with a shoe like an Asian politician.

“It is the best show ever.” I swear everyone has a “best show ever” and I have learned to just pick my own.

Note: I’ll just use some of my pics from the trip for random posts. They won’t really be related…



2014 Wish List

I have a wish list for 2014. I will number them.

  1. I wish for 2014 to be the year no one writes about me. Either positive or negative. That would be awesome.
  2. I wish for more sleep. I ask for this yearly and fail yearly to have it granted.
  3. I really want a BMW. It doesn’t have to be new, just “newish.”
  4. I hope this is the year THEY come finally.
  5. I would like for my kids not to get sick as much this year.
  6. I want to write more, get better at writing, and work on dialogue.
  7. I wish less people would actually touch me this year. Today a guy randomly patted me on the back after a brief conversation at a store. That is cool and all… but I almost melted from human contact.
  8. I wish less people would have abortions.
  9. I just want a Super Bowl win! Who do I have to pray to for that? I am not above sabotaging a team bus…
  10. I wish more people would consider the stupid shit they say in public that everyone else is forced to listen to. You have every right to be as dumb as you like, but please don’t torture my ears and sanity with your drivel.
  11. I wish everyone in America had to retake the drivers test and actually pass this time… I want to see the test scores too. There is no way some of you actually took a legitimate test. Maybe a go-kart test or something.
  12. I wish the news would be less bias. All channels.
  13. I wish reporters would get their facts straight before reporting stories. News stations and reporters DESERVE every dollar they are sued for when they falsely report shit. Do your job right, stop cutting corners, and stop ruining random people’s lives assholes!
  14. I wish you were all real people. Granted, you are very talkative machines…


Some Personal Retorts – By: OM

“You eat meat? You murder animals.” …I hate baby elephants…

“Do you know how many calories are in that?” The same amount as there was when I ate it yesterday?

“Are you throwing that away? There are starving people around the world!” Did you want me to Fedex my leftovers or something?

“Hate is such a strong word. You shouldn’t say you hate people.” I hate you.

“All you do is write your opinion. You don’t ever debate or allow others to share theirs.” Ok, are you finished yet?

“You are going to hell.” Been there. They kicked me out…

“Koreans are horrible drivers.” Good, I will have an excuse when I run your ass over.

“All Asians are good at math.” That is because we are all smart enough to buy calculators… stupid.

“Chopsticks are so hard to eat with! I barely even get a bite!” Why do you think Asians are generally so skinny? Even we hate eating a whole meal with chopsticks. Where the hell is my spoon?

“Are you worried about when the time comes for your daughters to date?” I am only worried about having the energy to dig that many graves…

“You are such a misogynist asshole.” Pure butter baby.


10 Ways to Make Your Day Awesome!

1. Play “Eye of the Tiger” while you shower. That is a magical experience. Seriously try it.

2. Convince the spouse to have sex in the morning. Everyone has sex at night… boring! Morning sex really is awesome. Awesome.

3. Tell the woman at Starbucks that your name is Superman/Superwoman. Hearing your name or seeing it written will make you feel crazy good. Crazy good!

4. Eat a burger at Outback Steakhouse in America. If you are from a foreign country… well it must suck not to be American. I got lucky and was drafted from Korea.

5. Drink a morning beer. I don’t know what it is with connecting the image of an alcoholic to morning beverage consumption. On average a fridge presents very few options mostly consisting of either orange or apple juice, milk, and a various selection of beers. It is therefore a rational human response to grab a can of bud lite. Everyone knows it is just like water… plus a few nutritious ingredients. What the hell is the problem here?

6. Buy a number one from McDonalds and don’t you dare use location as an excuse. Everyone knows there is a freaking McDonalds in every country except North Korea.

7. Hear the words “I love you” from anyone, even if you have to give $10 to the crackhead on the corner. An “I love you” is all about feelings.

8. Tell someone at work you are dying. It is amazing how nice people are to you, honestly amazing…

9. Say “OM” in the morning. You might even make a wish and if it comes true I take full credit.

10. Call in sick to work. Honestly is there any better feeling than calling in sick to work?


Guest Post – Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: A Critical Analysis

Last week I decided to find a new home for my fake Christmas tree. Formerly it resided in an awkward and difficult-to-navigate corner of the basement, and I’ve finally relocated it to the upstairs closet with the rest of the Christmas stuff. Logically I know I ought to just get rid of the stupid thing. It’s a pain to put up, the branches are all bent way out of shape, a chunk of the topper is missing, and it’s still wearing tinsel from 2006. Yet somehow I’m never able to do it. It always surprises me how attached I am to that tree, even though I know full well the reason why – it’s because it’s exactly like the one my family had when I was growing up. I’m ordinarily not the nostalgic type, but to me that big ol’ fake tree with its blinking lights is what makes Christmas Christmas. That and my one other indispensable holiday tradition – 1970s Christmas specials!

Yes, it’s true – Christmas was never more meaningful than it was during that wondrous era in which we celebrated the most important holiday of a child’s year not by going to church, not by caroling, not by hitting the mall at midnight on the day after Thanksgiving, but by plopping our butts down in front of a nineteen-inch black-and-white at 8 pm on Saturday nights in December and losing ourselves in these classic tales of childish wonder. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, the story of an outcast who saves Christmas. Santa Claus is Coming to Town, the story of an outcast who invents Christmas as we know it today. How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the story of an outcast who… Wait, I’m starting to sense a pattern here.

Now, I am not going to confess that I still watch these specials every year, and sometimes more than once, even with no children in sight. I will decline to admit that I have all of my favorites on both video and DVD, or that the one day of the year in which even I will almost certainly tear up is when I witness The Grinch having his big change of heart. I will, however, be happy to share my thoughts on that most thought-provoking of Claymation creations – the story of Rudolph.

Yes, because there’s more to the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer than the patently obvious lesson about the worth and value of misfits. This 1964 Rankin and Bass drama is chock full of enough subtext to satisfy the most diehard of film enthusiasts, and it is still, nearly fifty years later, remarkably evocative of the socially progressive era in which it was born. Let’s look at how.

1. The authority figures are jerks. There’s the nasty coach, who, after Rudolph’s secret is revealed, informs the other children snidely: “From now on, we won’t let Rudolph play in any more reindeer games, right? Right.” Look at Rudolph’s dad, Donner, who forces him to wear a fake nose, which is not only uncomfortable, but wholly undermines Rudolph’s budding self-esteem. “You’ll like it and wear it!” he commands. “There are more important things than comfort. Self-respect!” Consider Clarice’s father, who reaffirms Rudolph’s worthlessness by rejecting Rudolph on sight: “No doe of mine is going to be seen with a… with a red-nosed reindeer!” And how about the mean elf-boss, who yells at Hermey and then (illegally) refuses to give him his break until he finishes his work?

And then there’s the big man himself, Santa Claus. Not content with merely trashing the new elf song his pint-sized slaves have spent so much time writing and rehearsing, he quickly turns his temper to the subject of Rudolph. “You should be ashamed of yourself,” he tells Donner. For what, we wonder? For siring a red-nosed son? “What a pity – he had a nice take-off, too.” In other words, Santa is so closed-minded that he can’t even consider the possibility of putting someone who’s a little different on his team, no matter how good he is or how much potential he has. It’s the attitude of guys like him that gave rise to the idea of Equal Opportunity Employment.

The message is as clear as a bright red bulb on a foggy winter night. Don’t trust anyone over 30!

2. The one authority figure who isn’t a jerk is King Moonracer, that good-looking lion. Although he speaks smoothly and with conviction, he’s unfortunately an idiot. Every evening he circles the entire earth, collecting toys that no little girl or boy loves, and bringing them to his Island of Misfit Toys. Yet practically the first thing he says to Rudolph on meeting him is, “When one day you return to Christmastown, would you tell Santa about our misfit toys? I’m sure he could find children who would be happy with them.”

Okay, Your Highness, you may seem majestic with your wings and your crown and your cool castle and all, but you need better advisers. You’re telling me that you circle the entire earth every night seeking abandoned toys, but you never once thought to stop off at the North Pole and talk to Santa yourself? Heck, I mean, it’s not even that far – no farther than one can travel by ice floe, at any rate. The misfits may be all right, but the ruler of the misfits… Well, he obviously isn’t roaring with a full mane.

I’m not quite certain about the intended lesson here, though. Is it merely a dig at autocratic rule, or are we being taught that monarchy consists largely of pointless exercises in futility? In either case, it’s none too flattering to the man in charge – and in the end, it’s the brash young upstart who actually solves the problem of the misfit toys.

3. There’s a hint of underlying feminism. When Rudolph goes missing, Donner naturally decides to go out looking for him. “Mrs. Donner wanted to go along, too,” narrator Burl Ives assures us. “No! This is man’s work!” Donner blusters in response. But the days of mindless obedience to one’s husband are passing. “No sooner did the man of the house leave than Mrs. Donner and Clarice decided to go out on their own…” It’s also interesting that all of them – male and females alike – wind up in the cave of the Abominable Snow Monster. The buck, it seems, really was no better equipped to take care of himself than the ladies.

Notice, too, that the women aren’t jerks like the men are, perhaps because they have no actual authority. Why, that Clarice is downright sweet. She doesn’t laugh along with the others; rather, she forces Rudolph to keep his promise to walk her home. She sings to the unfortunate misfit to make him feel better. She even defends his “deformity,” declaring, “I think it’s a handsome nose! Much better than that silly false one you were wearing.” She’s kind of a forward gal, too. The way she whispers “I think you’re cute!” into Rudolph’s ear just before takeoff practice, the way she nuzzles noses with him on their first date – this is not a doe who’s suffering from sexual repression.
Strong, independent, free-thinking females – you can practically see women’s lib being born right in front of your eyes.

4. It’s about coming-of-age. Because there’s no need for Rudolph to actually get rid of his red nose. He just needs to learn to control it. Am I right? The young Rudolph’s “blinkin’ beak” goes off at random, shocking nearby observers with both the shining light and the horrible high-pitched whine that accompanies it. Indeed, his secret is discovered during one such unexpected episode – and worse, he and his friends are almost caught by The Abominable during another. But by the end, Rudolph is flicking that thing on and off on command, and that’s the point at which it becomes useful – even desirable – to Santa and the others.

“Control! Control! You must learn control!” Yoda scolds Luke Skywalker, another youngster with special powers. And what about Harry Potter? There’s a story that’s all about learning self-control. Misfit or no, Rudolph, too, must gain mastery over his body and over his emotions before he can become a productive member of society.

And that, of course, is the quintessence of growing up.

5. It’s about the growing acceptance of babies born out of wedlock. Surprising, but quite possibly true. Have you ever noticed that Hermey has rounded ears? Strange, isn’t it? Not only is he the only elf who doesn’t like to make toys, he’s also the only one with round ears. Indeed, except for his stature and classy powder-blue attire, he might not be an elf at all. He might even be – gasp – a human!

Of course, among elves, the outcast would naturally be human; the anti-Vulcan, if you will. But why did Rankin and Bass decide not to give Hermey pointy ears? Why did they decide to make him a misfit not just by personality, but also by physical characteristic?

The answer seems obvious. Hermey is – as such children used to be called – illegitimate. Because if Santa and the Missus are the only humans in Christmastown, then where did Hermey get those rounded ears? Hmm, maybe Santa’s a jerk in more ways than we thought; taking advantage of an employee – oh, no, wait. There’s also Yukon Cornelius. Maybe he popped into town one day and decided to pop in on some cute girl-elf’s cottage. Oh, wow. What if Hermey was in fact Yukon Cornelius’ son? Think about it – they reunite, escape death, hang out, solve problems together… I may have to compose my very first piece of fan fiction.

There’s no question that the ranks of single mothers grew in the sixties – all that free love was bound to have consequences, after all – and perhaps, in a time in which the term “bastard” still prevailed, Rudolph gently reminded us not to judge the child by the actions of its parents. It’s a lesson that we’ve apparently learned, because look at us today – even our most respected celebrities are having babies without ever getting married, and without having to apologize for it, either. And their children, too, are no longer scorned or held down by society because of their birth; they are quite as likely to succeed in life, perhaps to become celebrities in their own right, or even, if they’re very lucky and study hard, dentists.

Programs like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer are arguably the reason why children of my generation grew up the way we did. Consider the lessons it teaches. Question authority, especially when authority is wrong. Make your own decisions. Judge people by their actions, not by their appearance or their circumstances. Respect those who are different from you. It’s liberal thinking in its broadest, least political sense, and it was born in an era of idealism, in which people really thought it was possible to change the world; in which they truly believed that one person could make a difference.

Rudolph lights the way.

Lori Schafer

Don’t Follow HarsH ReaLiTy!

I was bored and went through some past anti-HR posts and comments and I made my own. Because it just looked so damn fun…

Don’t follow HarsH ReaLiTy! That Opinionated Man, that Korean bastard, that guy that seems to write whatever he wants. The audacity of that man to follow people and expect them to come and visit his website! I don’t know whether I am jealous or mad that people are actually following him. Don’t you all see his intro page? I just read 25 people thank him for his visit and they followed him back! THEY FOLLOWED HIM BACK?!? What kind of mad world is this? (No seriously this is straight from a comment on my new website on you really can’t make some of this shit up)

I don’t even think he is Korean to be honest. I am almost positive he is white and he is 16 and he is probably some spoiled, privileged kid. (YES! My false trails are working!) And he certainly can’t write… I mean what are people complimenting him for? His poetry doesn’t even rhyme and all he does is rant about his birth mother all the time. (that too, straight from a comment because it was too good to not add) His theories and random articles are stupid and pointless. (that is because my life is stupid and pointless… obviously.)

I think he is actually a group of people. No one can possibly write as much as he does, keep the posting real time, correspond with dozens of other bloggers daily, work, and do his family life. He is either lying or he is a robot. (damn… I knew my ass felt hard…) I think it must be a group of people and they somehow make their writing all sound similar. (you lost me on this one. I even read the comment a few times…)

He keeps saying he doesn’t use other platforms to gain his audience and that he has never been freshly pressed. Who gains 30,000 followers in a year? I think he is using some marketing company or something. But I have never seen any Ads and I can’t find his name or website anywhere on the web other than for his current blog. (I think Sherlock would be proud of how you just solved your own question. Nice job!) There is something fishy going on and we have already established he is a sociopath and also a homophobe. (*writing down sociopath and homophobe on resume as we speak.*)

I wish he would keep his damn mouth shut on abortion. He doesn’t have a vagina. He isn’t a woman. And what the hell does he know about feminism? (… I got nothing for this. You got me! Ack!) I think we women should get together, find his address, and put the stomping to his face! (that is either going to be painful… or possibly the hottest movie I will never watch.) I am sure something will come to him. Karma is a bitch! (I would like to put out that this is the first time I have ever written the word “bitch” on HarsH ReaLiTy. It feels like we just had a moment there.)

I am sure his blog will be shut down eventually. And those fake followers will disappear. He is basically only waiting for praise and is rude to anyone that disagrees with him. I can’t believe everyone likes this jerk! (I completely agree. There I said it.) Whatever, he isn’t worth my time… (now this line gets me. Truly, I am not worth their time and yet it never fails that I come across a post or comments that basically… just made this post. Tada!)


“Why I am unfollowing you OM”

I get a ton of amusement out of the emails I receive from people letting me know that I have offended them and that they are now going to promptly unfollow me. I am still amazed at the time and energy some people put into these emails, almost on par with quitting a job. I thought it might be fun to share some of the more popular reasons I have received.

“You need to stop writing on women’s issues. You don’t have a vagina and until you do you will never have a way of understanding the opposite sex.” How about you keep the vagina, I keep writing my opinions, and you choose to go read other blogs? I suggest Freshly Pressed.

“You post far too much. Quality over quantity buddy!” While it hurts that you basically just told me my articles suck… I will suck it up. It will be hard. I think I’ll just keep doing what I am doing and you can click the unfollow button.

“You never say more than a few words in response to my comments, but I see you respond in length to other bloggers.” Maybe those other bloggers are saying more interesting things than you…. Especially if the only thing that draws you out is to complain that “I am not fair.” Boohoo…

“You have turned into a marketing blogger. I signed up to read a writer.” Ouch… I guess selling two eBooks for a short period, posting about marketing, and helping entrepreneurs out constitutes as being a “marketing blogger.” I will now add this to my LinkedIn skills!

“Your views on abortion are insulting and an infringement against my freedom.” Wait, did someone actually make me President?!? I have been waiting for so long!!! Move over Obama.

“You don’t respect women.” You’re right; I don’t respect a general term. I also don’t respect Asians, blacks, whites, men, or stop lights unless I feel like it. I RESPECT PEOPLE WITH NAMES, not out of obligation. Try it.

“You keep spreading this lie that anyone can reach your popularity. You also keep sharing powerblogging secrets.” I didn’t realize there was a “powerblogger club” I was supposed to join. Did my invite get lost in the mail? You want me to sit in the back??? Yes, I do tell people that they can gain whatever audience they desire. This is not some bullshit attempt at motivational speaking, it is the simple truth. Maybe it is not true for people that have no ambition, motivation, or faith though.

“You say things best left unsaid.” No I say things that should be said. People that think this are normally REALLY pissed off by the fact that people are actually reading my words.

To those bloggers I have offended enough to either want to write or have written one of these emails to me I wish you the best. Don’t send me these dumbass emails though. I really could care less why you decide to unfollow me and the sun will still rise tomorrow.

-Opinionated Man

Guest Post – Broken belonging

As an adult adoptee with passion and curiosity for relationships, culture, heritage, identity, and all their intersections–I’ve reached a new phase. A phase where I feel the cloud of not quite knowing where I truly belong in this world. Continue reading

Guest Post – Knowing When to walk away (Chapter 4)

Love can be funny, it is a feeling that as humans we really can’t live without. But sometimes in relationships love can become toxic and knowing when to walk away is the healthiest and best way to love each other and yourself.

From personal experience I have felt from certain individuals such moments of extreme joy in their presence turn to to such extreme rage just by the things that they say and do… Some people are just not compatible and you cannot change a person who is unwilling to change. When people start to bring out the worst in you, make you act out of your character and elevate your stress level constantly…. It is an unhealthy toxic relationship…

Communication is key in any relationship and if the lines of communication are damaged… Or were never properly established then the relationship is doomed. How can any relationship work when any slight disagreements turn into world war 3?

The best way to love them no matter how much you may be in love is from a distance. Because things can get volatile very fast (trust me)

Twitter – @SmokeNdust

I don’t know if I ever said this, but I do use Twitter for drunken purposes. I can be found @SmokeNdust if you want to add me. I try to follow everyone back except for people that send me those stupid “buy follower” messages. I unfollow you. I unfollow you.


Guest Post – If you’re a guy, which one are you?

The Unicorn:
The Unicorn is the mythical embodiment of perfection. He’s the God that walks amongst mere mortals. He has it all. Perfect in every way and right now, he even has the girlfriend that everyone wishes they had their hands on.

The Bad Boy:
I love to hate him. One of the reasons why I hate him is because, well, he’s bad. He picks on all the little guys and he’s trouble, nothing except trouble. But, damn does he look good. I’m going to hide the little part of me that gets giddy when I watch him play behind a wall of hatred, because Mama always told me to watch out for the bad boys.

The Boy Next Door:
Plain and simple, that is your next door neighbor. Whether you love them or hate them, you live next to them and they’re always around.He seems harmless in a cute and endearing way. I definitely see a friendship sparking between us. It may even turn into a full-blown love affair. We’ll see, I’m definitely keeping my eye on him though.

The Guy You Lost Your Virginity To:
He’s a good guy. He’s sweet and cute. He’s the underdog. Most girls wouldn’t even give him the time of day. He got bullied and threatened a lot last year, but he kept fighting back. You will always pull for him and wish him the best because he is a special guy. You do care about him, mainly because you lost your virginity to him and you two share a special bond. Is there a part of you that wishes that maybe you would have given it up to someone a little more special? Yes, probably a little. Although you’ll feel terrible for saying that because he was so good to you and he was the perfect guy to give you the experience you needed. But all good things come to an end and it’s time for you to move on to bigger, better things. Watch, he’s going to grow up to become that super famous and hot actor, or win the World Cup four years in a row.

The Party Guys:
These guys are the fraternities on campus. They throw a good party and they know how to have a good time. I’m usually pretty entertained by them. I don’t have any real interest in them. I just use them for the cheap thrill of a good party.

The Class Clown:
I don’t know exactly what it is it, but it’s hard for me to take them seriously. They’re just around for a few laughs.

The Nice Guy:
He’s a good guy. He works hard, has a nice personality, and isn’t bad looking either. He’s an all around likable dude with fantastic hair. He’s always there when you need him, with a shoulder to cry on or just to have a heart to heart talk. But most of the time, they end up in the Friendzone. Or, if you’re lucky, maybe not.

The Friend with Benefits:
Yeah, you look good. You’re not looking for a commitment? Neither am I. Oh? You want to show me a good time? Well, I’m not that type of girl. You are hot though and you do have a great body. Oh, you’re funny, smart, and sexy too? You’d like to take me to out? Well, I guess we can go out once and see what happens. We had a blast and now I’m hooked. Since we have no real attachment other than a good time, I’ll enjoy the fun until I find something better.

The ‘Oh My Gosh He Got So Hot Over the Summer’ Guy:
He showed up to driving a brand new BMW and he had to have gotten a personal trainer because, goodness, did he buff up. It looks like someone went to fat camp, buffed up, got a flashy new wardrobe, and has a new group of cool friends that came out of nowhere.

The Fresh Meat:
He just moved to town and you can’t decide if you love him or hate him. Since he’s new he tried out for the team and made it. Some people are excited about the fresh talent and others are super pissed because him making the team means someone that you like is no longer on the team.

The Disappointment:
He flirts with you for months and you’re incredibly into him. He’s charming and flashy for a while and when Spring Formal comes around, he asks you to go with him. Because you are so excited about it you decide to buy a new dress just for the occasion, even though you already have a dress you can wear. The night of Spring Formal comes around and homeboy shows up to get you reeking of cheap whiskey. He comes inside to use your bathroom, starts throwing up, and passes out. Night over before it even got started. He wasn’t all that he was cracked up to be. Unfortunately the dress is non-refundable and now you’re stuck with the painful memory of what could have been hanging in your closet.

The Hot Guy with No Brains:
In high school he skated by. He’s hot, but he is dumber than a stack of bricks. The only reason he got into college was because his Daddy paid the school a lot of money for him to get accepted. He’s fun to party with and he shows you a good time. How far will that go? Without a brain you’ll never go anywhere.

The Quiet Guy:
That is the guy who shows up to some of the parties but never really says anything to anyone. You often forget he’s even there. He stays out of the way and waits for his moment to shine.

Your Friend’s Boyfriend:
He’s always around and he’s not a bad guy. Sometimes he makes mistakes and disappoints her, but all in all, he makes her happy and that’s all that matters.

The One That Transferred:
He was around for a while, but never quite got the hang of things. He struggled during his time there and eventually Mom and Pops decided that there was a better place for him to go. So they yanked him right out of there with very little warning. The ones he was close to will miss him dearly and the ones that never got the chance to get to know him will hardly notice his absence. Sure, next year his name will come up, but after time he will be nothing but a distant memory.

The Wallflower:
He’s a loner and a seemingly shy guy who no one really knows. Often one of the most interesting guys if one actually talks to them.

The Snob:
He’s a little bit abrasive and he thinks he’s God’s gift to the world. They have a good loyal group of friends and they aren’t that welcoming to anyone else. If you mess with him, his friends will show no mercy when letting you have it.

The Independents:
These are the guys that are just there. They satisfy the needs of different girls for different reasons. You’ll be nice and wave your fingers and say “hi” whenever you see them, but that’s about it.

The One True Love:
That is the guy that is marriage material. He can do no wrong in your eyes. You will stand by his side no matter what. If he’s sick, you’ll be there for him as he gets healthy again. Even if he’s not successful, you’ll proudly be on his arm letting everyone know that he’s still your man. He’s been there for you through thick and thin and will never leave your side. With every relationship there is some disappointment and hard times, but he always finds a way to make it up to you and you still love him. You two are a match made in Heaven.

What if I fall in love with my Friend with Benefits? What if The Nice Guy doesn’t finish last? What if The Guy I Lost My Virginity To puts a ring on it? What if The Boy Next Door turns out to be the man of my dreams? What if one of The Party Boys shows that there’s more to him than being able to throw a good party? These are all questions that only time will tell. Until then, I’m going to let loose, have a good time, and enjoy the ride.

PS: I am not referring to anyone specifically. Also, it is all written based on my point of view and not experience nor has it happen to me. And I know it is more to the American side but I guess that’s because I read too many of that kind of books.

Cheers! x -Kim

Guest Post -Trophy Society

My kid participated in track this past spring.  A memo went out to all parents the week before the first meet.  The memo covered many things and kept referring to the events as ribbon events.  I assumed (and rightly so) that he meant the kids win ribbons for the events when they came in 1, 2, , or 3.

At the end of the memo, the coach clarified by saying all children would receive a ribbon.  I’m sorry, say that again ….

Yes, everyone gets a ribbon.  Now, they were so bold as to color first, second, and third place blue, red, and white respectively and anything under that was pink, so there was a distinction between the top finishers and the rest of the pack.  Really going out on a limb there, wouldn’t you say???

When I was a kid, the person who received a ribbon or a trophy was the person who won or finished second and third (some may argue that only first should be rewarded).  And if you wanted a ribbon or trophy, well, you had to work harder and after working as hard as you could, and if your talent level just was not there, well, tough crap, you didn’t get a ribbon or trophy!

I call it the trophy society where everyone wins, but, unfortunately in life, not EVERYONE wins.  As a matter of fact, hardly anyone wins in the game of life!  I see the younger generations, and I see this sense of entitlement that they have.  They do not work as hard, they think working extra hours is 20 minutes at the end of the day before they are off to their lattes and mommy’s basement!  But they expect to be paid six figures in a matter of months! If they don’t get it, they quit.

Their writing is horrendous.  They are super fast texters, talented on computers and social media but ask them to make a phone call to actually speak to someone and they shrivel into a corner.

Ask them if America is a democracy or a Republic and they look at you like you are from another planet.  Remember the Pledge of Allegiance anyone?  The answer is right in there!  Or maybe they do not say the Pledge in school anymore … I don’t even know, and, frankly, I don’t even know if I care!

Generations have become very soft.  Part of the reason is how we coddle them from tee ball to bumper bowling to high school.  Lest we forget, these are the people who will one day be running this country and taking care of us old people and fighting off terrorists and defending our liberty from the UN and …  well, I, for one, shudder at the thought of generation Y, Millenial or whatever is next running this world.

Yeah coach … and whoever started this … keep giving out those participation trophies (or in my case, ribbons)!


Guest Post – Time for a REAL Conversation

Remember Donald Sterling, the owner of the Clippers who said some awful things in private and is now public enemy number 1,999,999??? I do not condone what this dope said, but some things about that story really nag at me:

For one, what happened to privacy?  I guess Big Brother is officially watching!

Has anyone ever ever ever said anything in private that may be insulting to someone?  If not, throw the first stone then!

Did anyone think about the overall repercussions of releasing this story?  Forget the old man, who is obviously senile, but think about the damage this has done to the fans and the players.  Does the media ever think about anything before running rampant with hateful stories like this???

In other words, what was the point to blast this everywhere?  Did it do more harm than good?

I for one think the man’s comments were insane, but man if we were all judged by the dumb things we have said and done over the years, we all may be thrown in jail, fined, banned from one place or another, or Heaven forbid guilty of “hate crimes.”

Okay, so the latest is he is now banned from the NBA and will be fined millions of dollars.  Love it!  Does this mean that new standard will be applied to anyone (players, coaches, public figures, fans) who utters racial comments whether in the privacy of their home, on the sidelines, at practice, God forbid in their head, in a public setting, etc. will be banned (and I am talking about from anything and everything) as well???  Don’t forget about homophobic comments, derogatory comments against women, antisemitic comments, et al!!!!!

But no, we know that’s not the case. Anyone remember Jesse Jackson referring to NYC as Hymietown?  Has he been banned from anything?  What about Al Sharpton?  What about Reverend White … nah, I don’t think so.  And then Snoop Dogg added in his two cents?  Really Snoop, ever listen to your own lyrics about women and other black people?

Or how about this one: “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” Biden said. “I mean, that’s a storybook, man.” [please see for full story where this quote was obtained] How come good ole Joe wasn’t banned from Politics???

Oh, and who could forget when Harry Reid predicted that Obama could become the country’s first black president because he was “light-skinned” and had “no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one”????

There is enough racism do go around, that’s for sure.  But let’s be consistent about it and ban anything and everyone who has ever said anything hateful about anyone!

Oh, and I saw Michael Jordan commented on how disgusting Sterling’s comments were … like, hey, Jordan, love your contributions to basketball, but since when did you become a beacon of morality????

Who’s next to comment, Tiger?

I think it’s time to have a real conversation America and drop the fake indignation and look in the mirror  …


Guest Post – Dating Sucks

Oh my gosh, how I loathe going out on dates, especially first dates. I’m sure I’m not the only one out there who wishes they could bypass the awkward first date.

My date and I settle down into a semi-comfortable state. A glass of wine in hand. I personally wanted to tell the waiter to leave the bottle. I had a feeling I might need it and I did, along with an ice pick to stab myself in the ears. Yep it was pretty brutal. But who knows he might have been thinking the same thing too.

Nice guy, not bad-looking, smart, and a decent job. So, what was wrong? Not too much other than he has the personality of a box of rocks and the fact that by the end of the evening I knew more about his ex than him.

Hi Jennifer, I’m glad to hear that you decided to leave you’re job as a pharmacist and go to culinary school. I wish you luck in becoming a personal chef when you’re done. Oh yeah and apparently you’re chihuahua, Bobo, misses you.

I could go on and on about Jennifer, Jenny, Jen; but I can’t really tell you a damn thing about this guy other than he doesn’t work to far from me, he grew up in Florida, he likes Country music (I’m not a fan of Country, but that’s okay), and he thinks pizza is a well-balanced meal — now we’re making progress, but beyond that I got nothin’.

I know first dates are the worst and set ups through mutual acquaintances can be worse than going through a dating service. Perhaps we should have talked on the phone other than to set up this date or maybe even communicated through email. IF we had done either of those things, perhaps this first date wouldn’t have been so brutal or perhaps I would have found out he was still wrapped in Jennifer.

Needless to say our mutual acquaintance has already called to get the scoop. I let her call go to voicemail. What do I say? I can’t say, “I wanted to shove an ice pick in my ears” or “he has a personality like a box of rocks,” but I can’t say, “it was nice” or “I had fun” either. Hopefully, I can dodge that question by talking about something else or maybe if I’m lucky he told her that he didn’t have a good time.

I do hope with every ounce of my being that he doesn’t call. The sooner I forget about it the better, but I’ll never forget Jennifer. We will never forget Jennifer.

Contributed by 20/20 Hines Sight

Guest Post – A Survival Story

In the United States it happens every 2 minutes.

That’s 30 times per hour.

720 times per day.

For a total of 262,800 times per year.

I promise you know a woman who has been a victim. You may not know it. I mean it’s not something that women go around broadcasting.

1 in 4 women have been a victim of either an attempted sexual assault or a completed one. Most females are victimized between the ages of 12 and 25.

It happened to me – an attempted rape, which took place long after the target age range. I remember it like it was yesterday and it was years ago. It’s a memory that stays with you no matter how much you try to forget. The perpetrator’s smell stays with you, no matter how many different smells you come across. Their touch is forever on your body. Their words will always ring in your ear. You wake up scared, maybe crying, maybe angry, maybe a combination of the two or any combination of emotions.

Anything or nothing at all can trigger the memory.

A sexual assault leaves a woman (and her family) scarred for life. Your senses are heightened. You trust no one or you trust very little. You have to rebuild your life while your attacker walks free until he’s hopefully caught, prosecuted and put behind bars. And even then you still don’t feel completely safe. You still feel violated. You still feel helpless.

When I was in college I knew of a girl who was sexually assaulted and after the incident she fought to have a women’s self-defense class added to the curriculum — for gym credit. She believed that if she had known what to do than perhaps she could have avoided being raped.

I took my first women’s self defense class in college. It never dawned on me until I heard this girl’s story and the statistics of rape on college campuses (which is still a huge problem today) that I should learn how to protect myself. I said: “I’ll be damned, if someone is just going take it. They’re going to have to fight me for it.” Every year I take a refresher class and a few years ago I started doing Krav Maga. It’s a great workout and most importantly you learn a practical skill. I do believe because I have this skill set I was able to thwart a completed sexual assault.

Scared and ready to pee myself. Heart pounding and adrenaline rising, I immediately went into fight mode. Pinned against the parking garage wall face first, I slid down enough to get him off-balance a bit and thrust myself back up with as much force as I could possibly muster, using the wall as my leverage. (I don’t recall that ever being in any training. It just seemed the right thing to do.)

I remember him falling back just enough for me to give him a good ole fashioned headbutt with the back of my head and without my head hitting the wall in front of me. He fell backwards, let me go and I immediately got into my fight stance. He got a few of good licks in, but I was determined I was going to beat the shit out of him. I was so mad, I wanted to kill him and may have if a couple walking by hadn’t stopped and intervened.

By the time it was all said and done, he had a broken nose, a black eye, a groin issue that probably left him on his back for few days, and a host of other cuts and bruises. I managed to escape the physical assault, with lots of his skin under my nails, a broken finger, a headache, and some cuts and bruises. But mental trauma haunts me today.

Please, please don’t get me wrong there are instances that no matter how much training you have or the type of training, you may not be able to prevent a sexual assault; but knowing what to do gives you a fighting chance.

I strongly urge and encourage every woman who reads this post to find a women’s self defense class near you. Take it and take refresher classes from time-to-time. Do whatever you can do to protect yourself.

Contributed by 20/20 Hines Sight

Why My Blog is Different from Yours

I wrote a post titled “Why my Blog is no Different from Yours” in which I showed that I had basically built what you see here with a free blog. The only paid part was for the domain because I didn’t want to type in the extra word. I obviously wrote that post to show how anyone can “with the right amount of effort” grow a blog as large as they want.

My website is different than most blogs. I know of only three that I would say have the “pace” that this blog has set. This has far exceeded the realm of “hobby” for me and the time and effort I place into it show that. I am able to devote a lot of hours that many could not because of lifestyle and work. That is the benefit of my current occupation and I take advantage of that. I also think that the time I place into this website and the goals I have for it have pushed this blog past a level of “just for fun.” Addiction? Possibly. Profession? Not yet, not until I get paid.

The kickstarter is really just a gauge of interest. I don’t honestly think I’ll reach my goal, but it is a good tool for anyone to see just how interested your audience is. And a kickstarter IS for people to see if a hobby or a project is “good enough” to be a profession…

No, I don’t do things “just for fun.”


My Opinion on Fashion – Part 1

Why not right? I have already been called a dumbass and an asshole this week, so I might as well have some fashion bloggers tell me how stupid I am to top it off! Here is my take on current fashion.

I am not fashionable. I was once… when bouncers were letting me skip everyone in line. It doesn’t take much, just move to Knoxville and be the only Asian guy that cares to befriend bouncers. They will remember you (there aren’t a lot of Asians in Knoxville if you didn’t know).

When I was into style and my clothes, back before the shackles of marriage, I would normally wear either Polo, Structure (before they changed their name), and Banana Republic. I am sure you can now label me pretty easily.

I take my family to the mall a lot. The girls like to walk around, I people watch, and my wife will do some shopping. I will normally play that game where you try to avoid any and all human contact… all the while also trying to appear “normal.” I get to observe a lot of fashion trends because of this and of course I have an opinion.

My wife has tried to explain how the whole “certain colors for certain seasons” works. I think I get it. Women wear colors that complement the season as some sort of “ninja vanish” trick so they can get close enough to stab you. At least I think that is what is going on. Also I learned shoes have to match. Just because the shoes are “dirty” doesn’t classify them as brown.

There are many trends I don’t understand. Why do “younger mothers” wear the same clothes as their older daughters? Is there some type of discount at gap if you get the same outfit in two sizes? I think it is awkward if you can’t tell a mother apart from her daughter… but I guess some people think that is “hot?” If you aren’t near the age of Forever 21, should you be shopping there? It does say “forever” though doesn’t it?

Why do women buy clothes just to hang them in their closet? I wonder how many women here have clothes with price tags STILL on them. I do not get this at all. Please, someone explain it to me! Also… women you realize that malls always have a “sale” going on right? Husbands are you still falling for this trick? “Honey there is a SALE going on!!!” I worked retail… there is always a sale. We kind of just moved those stickers around…

Maybe this is a Colorado thing, but I seem to only see two outfits on males here. A Broncos jersey (GO PEYTON!) or this new “BMX Biker” look. I suppose this isn’t really a “new look,” but it is to me! Everywhere I glance there are “X Gamers” walking around and I am half tempted to start asking for autographs.

Asians that wear “really” Asian clothing in public. Just stop! Please!!!

I am from the South and the topic of choice for the longest time was sagging jeans. I personally like my comfort and my jeans are definitely not up to my neck… but if I can see your ass then that is just wrong. Pull that shit up. You aren’t running from any dogs, cops, or women with knives with your jeans like that you know.

At a certain point “parents” have to retire those college T-shirts we love soooo much. I enjoy seeing a father and a mother walking in the mall with their kids, until I see that their shirts say “I’m with Stupid” and “Freshman Forever!!!” At some point people have to grow up…

I really hate the mall because of those kiosks that now rule the “center aisle.” Those people that man those stations are bulldogs. I almost had an Italian woman chase me down with lotion that I needed to “fix my face.” OUCH! Lmao…


Sir Jason the Opportunist

I asked as a daily opinion what time period you would like to live during if you were able to time travel. My answer would be back in the days of knights… but more of a romantic knight. I thought long and hard on the name and I came up with Sir Jason the Opportunist. Has a nice ring of truth to it. If I see a damsel in distress over say… her cat in a tree. I will be there to save her! Lost dog on the manor? Sir Jason to the rescue! Dragon attacking the village…? Isn’t there a town watch or something for that kind of stuff?

Opportunity keeps a man alive! Never was that more true than further back into history when the price of a man was cheaper than dirt. You had to have brains and know when to show your brawn, and when to turn tail and run… for reinforcements because a General doesn’t fight in the front lines. That is just stupid… what kind of chess are you playing?