Shaming people into your cause is like forcing people to go to church. Sure we are all sitting pretty together in this big fucking building… but who is really praying?
I avoid words I don’t know how to spell and abuse words I don’t know how to use. I conform the meaning of phrases to my meaning and sacrifice the soul of the maker. I write my heart every day and it is black. Like ink as I spray it across fields of white. If only I were painting something of worth. It looks like finger paint. I am one horrible writer.
Journal Entry 48
… and I will never change. I see the world through tint. The different colors of my shades present the many facets of my personality. What mood am I in today?
The doorman calls me “Mr. Banks” as I leave the building. He is a Category D and would never make the collection. Still… what would it be like to play along his ribcage with my knife? One can wonder… I roll the idea around my tongue.
I stroll amongst them, a shining example no one notices. But they will notice me one day. All shapes, sizes, ages, nationalities, I see them all and shudder trimmers of desire.
Not just any can make the cut. An audition worthy of Broadway is held each day as I allow my sensations to take over and visualize the moment with each… Not a Category B today, no I will indulge myself and will not settle for second class meat.
The decision has been made and my hands start to sweat with the sheer joy from the anticipation. There is no stopping me from having what I want… what I need. It will be quiet in the night once more… soon once again.
OK, here it goes. There are some good reasons why Martin Luther King Day is not important to me and ironically many of those reasons were born in Memphis, TN. I am Korean born, but was raised by Caucasian parents. Let me first say that I had black and white friends growing up. The black friends I had were born from friendships at my 80% black school (maybe it wasn’t 80% exactly but it sure felt like 99% most days). I had a lot of white friends because I came from a small church community, even though we were all living in the middle of Memphis, TN, that kept strong ties together and were sometimes even cultish in their rules and regulations.
Now that the background information is over, let me say a bit about why I don’t care for this holiday. My school was “pro” anything that made African Americans feel important. To highlight this fact I recall one incident where we were eating lunch in grade school and the vice principle, a large heavyset black man, rushed into the room and grabbed the microphone to joyfully tell us O.J. Simpson was innocent (insert eye roll to this day)! I hated my school, I generally hated the kids there as well. I could not escape a day where I was not made fun of for my eyes, skin, or just because I wasn’t white or black. I remember one day a black kid, actually a former friend, said my eyes were so small he could blind fold me with dental floss. I retorted, “Well at least my people weren’t slaves.” Sob story to be sure, but that is not why I dislike this holiday, so let me explain.
I learned with every other kid in my school the good works that Martin Luther King did and I was truly proud of his accomplishments. What I could not understand was how could the Blacks at my school celebrate equality and freedom and in the same breath bash with malice an Asian kid for being Asian. It was so hypocritical to me that my disdain extended past the handful of kids tormenting me and included their whole race. It did not breed hatred, at least not at this point, but what it bred was a scorn for this holiday and even this man that was not fairly handed out. But pain and suffering create feelings that are not always rational. I know this now, looking back I probably knew this at the time as well, but the result is still the same. I dislike this holiday and all I see is hypocrites.
I get a ton of amusement out of the emails I receive from people letting me know that I have offended them and that they are now going to promptly unfollow me. I am still amazed at the time and energy some people put into these emails, almost on par with quitting a job. I thought it might be fun to share some of the more popular reasons I have received.
“You need to stop writing on women’s issues. You don’t have a vagina and until you do you will never have a way of understanding the opposite sex.” How about you keep the vagina, I keep writing my opinions, and you choose to go read other blogs? I suggest Freshly Pressed.
“You post far too much. Quality over quantity buddy!” While it hurts that you basically just told me my articles suck… I will suck it up. It will be hard. I think I’ll just keep doing what I am doing and you can click the unfollow button.
“You never say more than a few words in response to my comments, but I see you respond in length to other bloggers.” Maybe those other bloggers are saying more interesting things than you…. Especially if the only thing that draws you out is to complain that “I am not fair.” Boohoo…
“You have turned into a marketing blogger. I signed up to read a writer.” Ouch… I guess selling two eBooks for a short period, posting about marketing, and helping entrepreneurs out constitutes as being a “marketing blogger.” I will now add this to my LinkedIn skills!
“Your views on abortion are insulting and an infringement against my freedom.” Wait, did someone actually make me President?!? I have been waiting for so long!!! Move over Obama.
“You don’t respect women.” You’re right; I don’t respect a general term. I also don’t respect Asians, blacks, whites, men, or stop lights unless I feel like it. I RESPECT PEOPLE WITH NAMES, not out of obligation. Try it.
“You keep spreading this lie that anyone can reach your popularity. You also keep sharing powerblogging secrets.” I didn’t realize there was a “powerblogger club” I was supposed to join. Did my invite get lost in the mail? You want me to sit in the back??? Yes, I do tell people that they can gain whatever audience they desire. This is not some bullshit attempt at motivational speaking, it is the simple truth. Maybe it is not true for people that have no ambition, motivation, or faith though.
“You say things best left unsaid.” No I say things that should be said. People that think this are normally REALLY pissed off by the fact that people are actually reading my words.
To those bloggers I have offended enough to either want to write or have written one of these emails to me I wish you the best. Don’t send me these dumbass emails though. I really could care less why you decide to unfollow me and the sun will still rise tomorrow.