If you are curious if the “.5” is a typo, it is not. I added it just in case any woman or feminist got offended by me leaving someone out. Lord knows I wouldn’t want that to happen. So I added the .5 for the shorter women or women that might be classified as midgets. Technically my wife might be short enough, she looked it up and legally she may qualify. So after ten minutes of considerable thought and a lifetime of wrong turns, I have come to the conclusion that 9.5 out of 10 women would divorce me. I am very lucky to have found either the 1 or the .5 that did not.
I always see lists from women on guys that “are” or “are not” acceptable marriage quality. I am already married, I have been for over five years now, so it is a bit easier for me to name off what a woman would have to put up with. I can honestly say I have no idea why my wife does. She is truly remarkable, most of you would have left me long ago. Let me list some of the reasons why and I will number them for fun. I will be as specific as possible because we wouldn’t want any generalizations here…. We hate generalizing at HarsH ReaLiTy…
Women that “have to win” every argument. These women would divorce me because I don’t lose. I DON’T LOSE! Also that whole “bringing up the past” is so lame in arguments. I am sure men do this as well, but I don’t know that for a fact because I don’t date men. So I am only commenting on women.
Women that want a “dream wedding.” Thank God I found a rational woman that understood buying a home within two years and starting a family were more important than a dream wedding on some island. Granted I would love to give it to her and in Hmong culture I think I have to give some cows or horses or something… I should really look into that. What is the interest rate on a cow and two horses over five years? Jesus probably a village… we do plan on having a renewal on an island though.
Timid women that don’t like displays of anger… ever! I know there are calm and complacent husbands out there that are the model fathers and husbands. They never yell and never get upset. Good job, I congratulate you. Meanwhile back at the Bat Cave, Reality gets angry sometimes… and sometimes he yells. I don’t think you are allowed to be a Korean father and not yell at least once a week. It is in some book somewhere… where did I put that thing.
Women that have to be in my bubble all the time. The clinger, yes they exist and regardless of what you thought about 1-3 you know a number 4!
“Where are you going?”
“To the store with Rob.”
“Can I come?”
“It is a two-seater”
“I can squeeze in!”
… we are going to go now…”
The “let’s fix this right now right away” woman. My wife and I will sometimes just “drop a subject” and come back to it later. Now some relationship counselor is going to tell you that you need to tackle that issue then and there or go run to some secret red notebook and journalize why “he just made you so fucking angry!” Or… we could just drop this topic and deal with it when we are calm and collected and hopefully it becomes a discussion and not an argument. You good with that babe? Cool! (I am almost positive somebody got offended by now knowing the fact that I will text my wife and call her babe… such a misogynist OM.)
The defeatist. Look I know I will never be president, I will never be on congress, and I will never be a judge in this lifetime (I really wanted to be a lawyer sigh…). That doesn’t mean that I don’t have a “move a fucking mountain” attitude occasionally that I have grown to understand IS a wave and needs to be ridden till it runs out. Why not? Why not get a little further in life and always seek ways to improve. There is so much every day to learn and that might sound cheesy, but it is true. So many opportunities if people just take the chance and go find them.
I am going to wrap this up with “anyone but my wife.” My children are perfect and I couldn’t imagine having any different daughters. That doesn’t mean I want more though… we have two fish as well. Actually one died this past week, Dori, but I didn’t feel it was a huge deal because I don’t cry over food. All water leads to the ocean. What ocean is close to Colorado…
I get a real kick out of people that think they offend me with their comments. No one has yet said a single thing on my blog that has offended me I am sorry to say. Hate to kill some of your dreams here, but WordPress is a soft website that houses a bunch of nice people. Genuinely nice. Honestly you can save some finger energy by just not writing “I hope this doesn’t offend you,” because chances are you will either get a smile or an eye roll from me when I read your comment.
I seriously wonder sometimes where some of you live. They must be very nice places. You want to know offensive? Try being Asian and going to a 85% black school your whole life. The shit I have had said to me throughout my life trumps anything said to me on WordPress thus far. You want to know offensive? Try being an adopted Korean with a white name and having every Asian you meet call you a banana and white-washed and THEN they laugh at their own joke and expect you to laugh as well. You want to know offensive? Try being a minority in the United States Air Force and being stationed in Cheyenne, Wyoming for a couple years. Or have a blogger write posts about you for two weeks straight and when you finally do a retaliation post (less than 100 words) they file federal charges against you. Try getting some blogger emails saying they hope you die, you should move from Colorado, or that they want you to burn in hell.
Kiddie punches are thrown here people and I laugh when people say on other blogs that all I do here is “rant.” I actually have yet to really post a RANT on this blog in my opinion. When you see a 5,000 or more words post come up with a big “FUCK YOU” in the title, then you will all know it is on like donkey kong. Until then nothing you can say about me is going to phase me… but feel free to keep trying. Telling me to burn in hell eternally makes my day and gets me to chuckle in real life. If people want to see what real “attacks” are like go troll the CNN or Yahoo boards for a bit. I was a CNN.com commenter and a Yahoo.com commenter for years (got perm banned from CNN actually) so… I have some experience with both trolls and aggressive comments. Online poker tables are notorious for trolls as well and I saw my fair share of those playing poker for many years.
Just know that I write and share what I wish. I expect “attacks” and nothing any of you can say will offend me. Now… talking about my daughters is a different story. I moderate only two things here, comments directed at my family and also hateful people that claim they want me to die and still visit my blog. I just don’t see the point in A) acknowledging their existence and B) allowing their names to be highlighted on my blog that I work hard on. Disagree with me or even send me a hateful comment, that won’t make me mod you. Come on people… you don’t know offensive.
Started the evening stumped about what I wanted to add to the growing eclectic collection of posts I have going. Not yet ready (or have a need) to add more to the story posts. Poetry could possibly be wrung out of my tired mind, but I didn’t want to go through the effort of dredging for ideas. So, I cruised facebook and here to see if something struck.
Yeah, I’ll say some thing struck. Struck hard. It was from two posts, actually. One from Opinionated Man and one from The Complete Netizen. Both of these writers have a lot to say, and often have very deep, meaningful, well thought posts. The posts may not be the MOST fun thing to read, but if you take the time to parse through them, and the follow up comments, there is so much well stated information it is hard…
I know I promised when I released my real name I would be good… but this is begging to be said. I have been browsing a lot of blogs lately and I am growing increasingly annoyed by the shirtless feminist posting huge pictures of themselves for ALL TO SEE! Why does bare chested women bother me? Because THIS IS A BLOG SITE, NOT A PORN SITE. PUT A DAMN SHIRT ON!
I read a lot of blog posts at home and work where people probably would not want to see tits suddenly on my screen. It kind of pisses me off that these feminist are using this as some sort of “statement” when all it really does it show how STUPID you are. Yes, STUPID!
“But we are being sexualized!!!” And taking your shirt off is doing what again? Guess what? When I see a male with their shirt off I say THE SAME THING! SO THERE IS YOUR EQUALITY.