Here are some pieces of advice I have on sex and they are obviously mostly for men, but maybe some women can relate to them as well.
1. Men don’t be too quick to defend yourself. When she says “was that it?” Don’t immediately say “but baby that was 2 minutes and 35 seconds longer than last time…”
2. Men you may not want to watch the football game while having sex. If you just “happen” to sync your sexual activities with that of a two minute drill going on women WILL notice. And they don’t take too kindly to it when suddenly everyone is clapping right on queue.
3. If you throw the pillow case and ask for a timeout for a water break and then get distracted by a playoff game while downstairs don’t expect sex for another 4.3 weeks.
4. Using condiments and making things interesting is fine during sex up until a certain point. That point normally begins when you hear voices that say “Are you guys making dessert in there? I hear whipped cream… I want some!”
5. Guys if you get caught looking at the clock have an answer ready for when your woman asks “what are you looking at?” I normally pick the water glass that should be there by the bed because hydration is important, “I was making sure no one was putting anything in your drink.” When she says “…but we’re at home…” you then need to look frustrated and say “baby can we concentrate on our next moves?”
6. Getting caught having sex in public, like in a car at the park, stops being “cute” and “romantic” at a certain age. The walk of shame is a little worse when your 18 year old has to bail you out from prison and drive you home.
7. Have an answer ready for when women ask you those questions like “was it good for you baby?” I like to go overboard with my answer to stop any further conversation. “Yea baby! This Captain is sure happy! You rocked the boat!” If that one gets old you can change it up with something like “This warrior is sure glad he visited this village!”
8. Sometimes women say silly things they have either heard other people say or seen on movies. If a woman says “Baby it is so large” and you are pretty sure it isn’t… just smile and try not to roll your eyes.
9. Pretending you are a superhero makes sex better.
10. Guys don’t just roll off and run do other things. At least give her a high five before you go. That lets her know you care.
Disclaimer: HarsH ReaLiTy is not responsible for any outcome from having followed any of the above advice. We encourage caution while dealing with sensitive subjects such as these.