I request that people email me if they have questions or wish to reach out to me. I don’t Facebook message, I don’t private Twitter message, I don’t LinkedIn message, and I avoid uncomfortable situations. Those situations would include the following.
1. I receive an email from an admirer and they inadvertently say “I love you.” My wife finds said email and lovingly places a knife in me. Now while that story holds a lot of love, I would rather not get stabbed… ever.
2. Person A messages me on Facebook and my wife gets on Facebook, but doesn’t realize she is on my account. She decides to message her best friend Helga and then notices that the message button on Facebook is flashing. She obviously clicks on it, because women are clickers, and behold it is a message asking me what I am wearing. Well my wife, since she doesn’t read my blog, has no clue that my previous post was “Guess what I am wearing?” She then grabs a knife and we revert back to the ending from the previous scenario. Again, stabbing not good.
3. Woman B sends me a message through LinkedIn in which she proclaims what an inspiration I am. My wife happens upon this message on my phone, but because women see only what they wish to see she replaces the words “inspiring” with “sexing.” By the time she is done reading the email hell is blazing from her eyes. And hell makes you pay…
4. Blogger C emails me and asks if their new profile photo is a good idea for their blog bio. My wife, because she doesn’t blog, thinks the bio is from an online dating site. The photo happens to be of you in a Halloween costume, which ironically is a Korean school girl. My wife hates Korean school girls. Stabbing and death are the end of this story as well.
I could really go on and as much as you may be laughing this is a serious matter. The above reasons really underline why I don’t “converse” much through social media. Feel free and email me WordPress, but let’s keep the messaging to a minimal. It is never ok to text me either… and honestly that is a bit creepy.