Women are still crazy and do and think the craziest things. Women think men want sex all the time. I don’t get what is so hard to understand that we don’t want it “all the time,” we just want it on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and every other Sunday from 9:35pm – 9:42pm after the games are over. I counted and that is generally less than 30 minutes, depending on our breathing, of our week. Now who is exaggerating? I also don’t get why women are so upset about taking a man’s last name. We all know women are better spellers right? Well that settles it. You all should have to change your names because you are better spellers. Fair is fair.
We all know how to count. Men we can all agree that we can all count to at least 100? Ok so for the purposes of this argument we are going to assume men can count to 80. We all at some point learned about this time in a woman’s life called her “period” and that it will come “regularly” every month. A lot of blame gets placed on this “week” that mysteriously shifts in position due to the positioning of the moon. It has something to do with the tide and how the current is pulled in. Men if you haven’t figured this out by now give up actually trying to pin down when this “period” occurs. The only way you will know in advance is from a receipt.
Social media made women crazier. It made it easier for them to get into “girl fights” which we all know are far more dramatic than “boy fights.” We know this because television tells us that women fighting is hot. And it is. Sometimes! It is not hot when women utterly confuse you by testing friendship theory everyday.
Cindy is such a bitch! We now hate her.
[Two Weeks Later]
Cindy is so funny! I love her!
You mean the Cindy that we hope that dies?
Ohhhh (giggle) we don’t hope she dies anymore. I guess if she got hurt just a little that wouldn’t be a bad thing though. Probably bring her down a peg or two.
I am so confused… and a little scared right now…
I go to the mall a lot recently and sometimes I feel like it is a gauntlet of judging eyes. Now I will admit men will judge women, obviously, and that judgment entails a full head to boob to butt visual observation. Sometimes physical inspection is needed. We don’t normally judge other men unless they are wearing a Patriot’s jersey with Tom Fucking Brady on the back. YOU SUCK AND SO DOES YOUR WARDOBE!!! Other then that sporadic occurrence I don’t think most men walk around looking at other men. The same cannot be said for women. I don’t think women miss a single thing in the mall and they probably see more boobs than men. We should learn what we are doing wrong.
I think the craziest thing women do is tryout for men’s sports teams. Have you actually been in a men’s locker room? I hate them. I would much prefer to use the women’s locker room actually… well before I was married. Maybe we can just switch badges.